CHRISTMAS!

About 4 years ago, I decorated the exterior of my house for Christmas. Each year, it's gotten bigger, more lights, and a different theme. Last year, I strung up lights on the roof, in a chevron pattern. One year, I took upon a Patriotic theme. This was the year Obama got voted in and I was proud of our fellow Americans. My roof was lite up like our flag..This year, I took 7 downed trees from the woods behind my yard, strung them up with lights, and stuck those bitches in the ground (deep of course). I did some weird thing on my roof which at different times looked like a landing strip. It was not my favorite year, but I already have ideas for next year..if I decide to do it again..You see, this year, our town had a lighting competition. It was put together by some of the local Boy Scouts and our fire department, with proceeds going to a local charity. I paid the $25 entry fee, and they came by on the Saturday before Christmas to judge it. The following day they planned a live announcement at the fire station, and everyone was invited to attend. I won't say the turnout was huge..it wasn't. But they plan on doing it again next year, and I'm sure the turnout with be even better. I dragged my girls with me, and my husband laughed when I asked him if he wanted to go..he stresses out every year when day after day, he comes home to MORE lights..more electricity..he bought a solar panel to offset the bill. Stress about bills might kill him eventually.. I would have been more surprised when our name was called if one of the fire fighters didn't say, as I walked by him on my way in, "There's the winner" to one of his buddies. Duh. So, yup, I won. And what did I win? Bragging rights, our name on a plaque on display at the town hall (I think), drive by's, and a basket of Lindt chocolates. Oh, and pressure. Pressure to go bigger and brighter than last year..I might bow out when I'm on top, ya know? 

18 months later....

It's been about a year and a half since my last blog post. It's weird. I think about my blog everyday. I'll have moments when I think that what is transpiring in my life is blog worthy. Lots of moments, for example when my mom almost died from a misdiagnosis from her primary care doctor, the doctor that I had referred her to, and had had myself since I was 22.
Another worthy blog post could have been when my douche bag brother got arrested for robbing several banks in New Hampshire, and Southern Maine. He doesn't recall the events, on account of him being all high on heroin. It was great fun for my mother, recovering from her near death experience, and her 7 week stint in a rehab facility. Oh, and getting a shit bag that she still has. Remember that my mom lives downstairs from me..the shit bag needs to be emptied, and burped daily. Do you have any idea what your shit smells like when it doesn't go through all the shit, that our shit goes through? It's like raw sewerage, toxic and completely unfiltered...Our shit actually smells good, compared to the other shit! I also learned that shit smells rise. Yup, that's been awesome..I love my mom, and I empathize with what she's going through, but our noses need a voice too!
Back to the my brother, who, btw, is my half brother! Don't think I haven't disclosed this many many times. It's important that people understand that despite my biological link to him, we have different Dads. Very different Dads. He got pretty screwed over by the gene pool..he sorta drowned in it. I don't have any good memories of him, he was 5 years older than me and has been a total and complete dick to me and my 2 sisters as far as I've allowed myself to remember.  I'm sad for what his actions have done to my mom. She is cursed by that bitch unconditional love, and as much as she wishes she could UN-love him, she can't. I often wondered how my brothers story would end. This wasn't the first unbelievable thing he did. He's got 8 (or 9) kids. None of whom he raised. Tried to kill himself more than once (but never wanted to do it bad enough for it to actually work.. but it did garner him some attention, something he couldn't live without.) I could write a book about the shit he's pulled, but who'd read it? It's tragic..It's sad, and it's over. 23 years in jail..he'll be 69 when he gets out..  if he doesn't croak in jail..which I'm sure he will.
There are many other things that have been blog worthy, good things! Really good things..but I don't want to spoil them by being the fabulous ending to this crappy crap. They deserve their own post!

Camping

We took the kids camping this week..camping is a lot of fucking work! But this time we went to a new place. Normally, we go to White Lake, which is a lovely campground, but has no hook ups for our little pop up tent. This time, I thought we would go to one that has a few more perks. Electricity. Water. Wifi. A little piece of heaven. But still a lot of fucking work. The campground itself was ok. It was just up the road from White Lake. It was small, the beach sucked, there was a pool (which the kids loved) and not one mosquito, which I found just weird. We stayed 3 nights, and I slept like shit for all of them. The first full day at the campground, we left and took the kids tubing down the Saco River. I hadn't been on the Saco since my senior year in high school, when a bunch of my friends and I did a camping trip after graduation. It's changed a lot, and there were quite a few people in tubes, floating down the river. I wish I had realized that water shoes would have been smart..or that sunscreen works better when you don't forget it in your car..2 miles down the road. My kids loved it though, and thankfully, their half Portuguese skintone makes them tan..and not burn. Halfway down, we stopped at a beach along the river and had lunch. We were exhausted by time we got back to camp, but that doesn't mean that I got to take a nap, or lay down. It meant, that everyone was still hungry, and that I had to feed them. Another perk to this campground, was a gas grill at your site! That was THE BEST! Seriously, campstoves, and open fire cooking suck compared to a gas grill! I might have to insist we take ours next time we go to White Lake (that, and a generator, because having power was great!) We came home today. We woke up this morning to some rain, and then some downpours, just as my husband and I were breaking everything down. It was fun getting in the car, and driving home soaking wet. Not as much fun as getting it unpacked though..if I smell campfire again, it'll be too soon. I haven't completely unloaded the camper yet..quite frankly, I'm scared to. The smell this morning was a combination of bacon, 10 year old boy farts, and bad breath. I'm not exactly looking forward to revisiting it anytime soon..Despite the smells, and the moments when I wanted to throttle a kid or two, it was still a lot of fun, and another memory for their childhood vault! Here's the 6 of us on a little hike..and a moment that I begged them all to shut up and smile!

forty one

I turned 41 today. There were no strokes, unlike last year. And my husband remembered it (unlike last year.) No drama, or stress, or tears, or worry. Just another birthday. Mellow and low key..perfection! My kids have one more week of school, and then summer vacation. Roughly 9 weeks of nothing to do, and barely a care in the world. We've had our pool up now for over a month. We were able to go in it around Memorial Day weekend when we had a small heat wave. It was wonderful. We threw in the a/c, and ran out of towels from all the trips in the pool (and my kids inability to remember to use the same towel!) That was the last of the heat. Since then it's been more or less raining, sorta cold, and just generally crappy. Summer does not appear to be in a rush to get here, but I won't be seeing as much of it as I would like, due to the fact that I'm going to be working a lot more this summer, and my husband will be home with the kids. My new job in the ER is going well. It's an entirely different world working in an emergency room. It's barely been 2 months, and I've seen more blood, more gashes, tick bites, severed fingers and dog bites than I ever thought I would witness in my lifetime. I've got some great stories already, like the man who checked in after he accidentally cut his neck while using a saw. The nurse that was sitting next to me, asked to see it, thinking it would be something benign, and easy to fix. He was afterall, just standing there with a towel on his throat, and had driven in. How bad could it be? I wish I had looked away, or had been doing something else. Instead, I was focused on this man, this poor man, who had no idea the severity of his injury, until I saw it, and gasped. I'm pretty sure the entire waiting room heard my gasp, and I have no doubt that they all saw me cover my mouth just to stop the long horrified gasp from escaping any further. There was an opening in this guys neck. I'm pretty sure it winked at me, or at least tried talking to me. It was 3 inches long, an inch wide, right across his jugular. He was sent to the Operating Room, and has recovered..unlike myself who has the image of this talking neck burned into my brain. forever.

Change is scary..

A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from my boss. She wanted me to come in for a meeting so that we could discuss my hours in the Scheduling Department. Grrrrreat. First, let me catch you up on my "job." I work in a local hospital scheduling outpatient diagnostic tests (ie. mammograms, ultrasounds, MRI's etc) I have been with the department since it's conception, for almost 14 years. When I first started, I was pregnant with my oldest son, and working full time. I went down to part time after he was born, then eventually I ended up with the shift I have often referred to as a stay at home mom's wet dream. Monday thru Friday, from 5:30pm to 7:00pm. It was my escape, especially when my children were little. I would be running for the door when my husband got home. Dinner was fixed, he would serve it, and I would get a break from the walls of my house. For 10 years, I have been doing this! I'll admit, it's lost it's charm a bit. Now that my kids are older, and in school full time, there are days when having to get dinner ready and eat before 5 is a total pain in the ass. Or when the school announces open house the day before, and I have to try and talk my boss into a night off. However, I've wanted to "keep my foot in the door" so that eventually, I could get something full time (not that I ever would, but my husband likes to put it this way..working full time in an office would kill me, remember?)
Immediately after I spoke with my boss, I called my sister. She works at the same hospital, and used to work in scheduling also, but has moved on up to a supervisor, but we still have the same boss. She knew nothing about why I was being called in.
My meeting was the next day, and that was when I was told that my hours were being cut. The office was going to close earlier, in an attemept to save the hospital money. After I stopped crying (one day, I won't be so weak.. I just know it!) My boss told me that I had options. Of course none of those options included me staying in the office that I have been going to for over 13 years. But instead, would thrust me into the public, in the warm welcoming arms of the Emergency Room. I have worked in this department before. Several years ago, when we needed extra money (like that's NOT everyday in my life..) I took on some hours over the weekend. Let me tell you, it's a different breed of people that go to the ER on a Saturday night. Not all of them, but certainly a majority of them, are drunk idiots who smell. Not to mention the fact that I worked with a nightmare of a woman who sucked the life out of the room.
So, that is how it's all gone down. I'm sad to be leaving the comfort of my quiet little cubical, to the front of the line so to speak. But I don't think I'm going to miss the difficulties that have been an issue lately with everyone's exta cirrucular activities. I'm not going to miss eating dinner at 4:30. I might miss some of the quiet time, but it's not as needed since all of my kids are in school full time.

No one likes change..at least I don't! The fear of the unknown, the realization that life is as unpredictable as it wants to be. What is meant to be, is meant to be..I'm embracing the positive change ahead, and trying not to freak! Wish me some mother effing luck! ;)

 

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Our piano is no longer ours. sweet!!!!

A few years ago, my husband found a free piano on Craigslist. Since he is as frugal as they come, and musically inclined, he had to have it. He found 3 suckers to help him, and the piano became a piece of furniture in our playroom. I would have loved to witness someone having a lesson on that thing. I love the sound of piano playing throughout the house. This sadly, never became the case. It turned out to be something that I had to outlaw from use, especially with my sisters boys. No one ever tried to play it nicely, or figure out chopsticks, the one and only pathetic song I ever learned from my few years of piano lessons as a child. It became about seeing who could make the loudest noise on it, or who could move their fingers away quickest when they took turns slamming down the keyboard drawer. It became more work for me, not exactly what I envisioned.

Last month we did some rearranging. The girls were tired of having bunk beds. They wanted their own bed side by side. They had only ever slept on the bottom bunk together. It was getting crowded, and I knew neither one of them wanted the top. This seemed like it would solve their problem! Until I took the bunk apart and discovered that two twin beds equal a king, and there was no way in hell a king size bed would ever fit in their modest closet of a room. It was when my husband came home later and saw the floor of beds that had become my girls room and commented on the fact that our house was too small, that I had the brilliant idea of giving the boys my sewing room/husbands music room in the finished basement and moving the girls into their brothers room, which is far bigger than their lame tiny little digs. Surprisingly the boys agreed and thus started a month of me moving everyone from here to there..from up to down..it sucked. But it's done. And everyone is relatively happy..with the exception of myself, but only because my almost 10 year old insists every night that I come down to his room and tuck him in..which wouldnt be so bad if I wasn't such a lazy fuck!

So back to the piano..Well, it had been in the sewing room since we had gotten it a few years back. It was the only place that we could put it since it weighs a gazillion pounds. Upon moving the kids rooms, and trying to obtain "minimalist" status (something my husband has desired since our 3rd and 4th child was cut from my womb, and something I pretty much gauffed at because, duh, we have 4 kids..we are pretty much the polar opposite of a minimalist!) however, I'm not a above exploiting those desires, so I mentioned how much room we would be saving if we got rid of the piano. He had that bad boy posted back on Craigslist, in the free section, and gone by the weekend. Coincidentially, the family who took it are related to me (naturally, since I can't seem to turn around without running into a long lost cousin twice removed.. that I never knew existed!)

Its been a nice change, for both the girls and the boys. They were all in need of some stretching out. And I might say I've been able to stretch out as well, no kids kicking me in the face all night, and no husband either as he insists the couch is more comfortable than our bed, the bed that we've known as long as we've known each other. Who am I to argue? ;) as long as we're all happy! And sleeping of course!

 

 

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Hairball

My kids are funny. They totally get their sense of humor from me! It's not always appropriate, but it is always funny.
The other day, I was sitting at the computer (a rare event in my house!) When I felt something in my back pocket. It was a decent sized hair ball, most likely wound up in the dryer, and no doubt mine, as it would seem that I am in a constant state of hair loss. Both my boys were behind me, over my shoulder waiting for me to finish up on line so that they could get on to Minecraft..their newest fad, when I dropped the ball of hair on the counter next to the computer. This was too much for them and all I heard was "gross...." and "eww..." Not a minute later, my youngest son ripped a fart so loud, and so juicy, that I thought he might have crapped his pants! Immediately, I voiced my disgust.. "GROSS!!" to which he replies, "And your hairball isn't?" and because I'm such a great mom, I couldn't help but say "yea, well, that hairball didn't come out of my ASS!" to which he quickly retorts "We don't know that!"
I made my oldest son write it down. I wanted to share it with his dad, (we omitted ass for butt though since he's a better parent than me! ;) Then we laughed til it hurt...

Growing Up..

 

Im not sure how to stop this process..this whole growing up business, or how to slow it down. I try to soak it all in, to slow myself down long enough to be present in these fleeting moments. It's hard not to get caught up in the hustle of my daily insanity, and just wish for the sun to set and rise again in the hopes of a better day. I have had times where I wished that life had a fast forward button. The girls infancy, and all 3 of my pregnancies were times I wished I could have skipped a frame or two!

Yet, here I am now. My oldest son is almost a teenager, my youngest son will be hitting double digits soon. And my twins are turning 7 this summer. I no longer think of the fast forward button..but I wouldn't mind a pause button..even a rewind one.

This past week, my oldest son received the Student of the Month award (again!) Last May, he received it for the first time. It's a surprise to the students, and no one knows until the assembly when they see their parents sitting in the front row. I am so immensely proud of this boy. One of his teachers introduced him, and explained why he was chosen. I had to fight back the tears as she described my son. He is everything she said. Kind, unassuming, helpful to others. Smart, thoughtful, and an all around great person. MY kid! I have only ever wanted a few simple things for my kids. To feel loved, and secure, and to have an inherent sense of right and wrong. I have spent many nights laying in bed thinking, and worrying. I really never had much stability growing up. We moved a lot, and the one constant in my life was my grandparents and the house they owned, a place I spent most of my childhood. I know that late night thinking, is never rational, not for me anyway. It's when the darkness of my house creeps into my thoughts. I wonder if I'm doing this whole mom thing ok. I worry that my husband and I aren't providing them with enough life experiences, like a vacation to Disney, which I have sworn and still do, that if I ever have enough money to take them to Disney, I still won't.. There are way more interesting places to take them with that kinda money! It's usually not until I see my therapist, and explain all of this to her, that I realize im looking at the glass sort of half empty, rather that almost full. I am so worried about my children not having a childhood like mine (which by the way wasn't always terrible, I do have many good memories from it! I'm not as broken as I may be leading you to believe here!) that I dont realize how completely different their upbringing has been in comparison to mine. All the things I would have wanted for my own childhood, I am providing to my own kids. It's a pretty gratifying feeling, not o think you totally suck! Everyone should try it!

 

 

 

 

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Winter break blues...

My kids are on February vacation this week. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 6 weeks since their last vacation, in another 6 weeks, it’ll be spring vacation, and just 6 more weeks after that, summer! Hurry the hell up, please. This winter is killing me. Unlike our last winter, which was mild, and almost completely void of snow, this year we have seen more of the white stuff than any hard core junkie has seen in their lifetime. It has been wreaking havoc on my plans, which pisses me off to no end. This past weekend was supposed to be my weekend away with the girls..and no, not my 6 year old girls, but my girls that I have known for almost 25 years. It’s no easy feat either to schedule a weekend away, but we did it, and then the god damn mother fucking snow killed it. Enough already!
Many people I know, have taken their families away on vacation. Somewhere tropical, and exciting. Somewhere away from here. To those people, I say, suck it. Hard. My family on the other hand is spending this week catching up on our yearly physicals, eye exams, and mammograms. Why would we want to go anywhere else, when we can stay right here and wait for more snow to fall? Which apparently is going to happen again in 2 days. Fanfuckingtastic!
wow, that felt good. Rather cathartic! But I'm done, and now I can rant about others things! Today was my boys yearly physicals. My youngest son was up first. He's growing like a weed, and is as healthy as can be. He did however, fail their eye screening exam. The nurse told me he had a hard time seeing most of the words and came back with 20/70 vision. She recommended that he see an optometrist and have an official exam performed. The minute the nurse left the room, he looked at me and said "I am not wearing glasses. I don't care if I need them, which I don't, but if they say I do, i won't." all the while fighting back tears. I reminded him of some friends he had who wore glasses, and that his brother did! I made him try to read a part of a sign in the doctors office, which he couldn't, but he claimed it was because the letters were in green, and he's not to used to reading in green. Um, ok. Then I told him how i always wanted glasses, and how jealous i was when my sister got them in the 6th grade, and i didn't. If there was one of my kids that I thought would never need glasses it would be him. As accident prone as he's always been, it always seemed to be because his body couldn't slow down. Not because he couldn't see where he was going! We shall see though. I've made an appointment with our eye doctor and we'll know in a couple of weeks. I hope for his sake that he simply choked on the eye exam. It's possible that nerves got the better of him, and he just said fuck it. He's more like me than he knows!

The Hallmark Holiday..

I am beyond tired today. I was up past midnight making Valentines day cards for my girls first grade class. I did this last year too, it took me forever, and when I mentioned doing it again this year, my girls freaked. There are a few kids in their class this year that were in it last year, and how embarrassing would it be to give out the same old crappy homemade cards! I reassured them that I would make brand new crappy cards, and would save them the embarrassment. Good lord, those two are something else!
My husband (who is 12 weeks post op from his shoulder surgery and coming along just fine) came home from work today and asked if I would like to go out with him for dinner Friday night.  I guess for valentines day. For as long as I've known him, he has been strictly opposed to valentines day. Often calling it the "Hallmark Holiday", just another way for the retail industry to bleed us dry. I won't say that I disagree, but who cares? It's one stupid day out of our stupid lives to tell the people around us, that we love them. So, yea, I guess you could say I was surprised by his invite..it probably also means that he hasn't gotten me a card, and most likely won't until our date on Friday night, at which point all the cards will be marked down 50%, and he will have won his independent war with hallmark. Do I know him or what?


My fourth grader has a party in his classroom tomorrow, and I have no idea what is planned in the girls class. I'm sure there was a note about it, and its probably in one of the towering piles of stuff, on the counter in my kitchen. It's not the best way to keep it all "together" but I work best under pressure. If I know too much ahead of time, it'll just stress me out. Call me a fly by the seat kinda girl,  but 9 times out of 10, it works. Unfortunately for my husband, that one time that it doesn't work, is usually when I've delegated something for him to do. An example would be when I asked him to go to the parent teacher conference for our 4th grader (because i was gonna be busy buying presale tickets for a mumford and sons show-shut up, i know!) only to find out that I had sent him to the wrong parent teacher conference. Oopsie.  He was mortified when he showed up to find out our appointment wasn't until the next day! Not as mortified as I was when the girls teacher called me moments after my husband had chewed me a new one, to see if I was coming in for our meeting. But you know what? There's a lot to remember with 4 kids..there's a lot to remember with just ME! So, I go about it the best I can. I try not to get far behind on what needs to get done, I put a lot of shit on my iPhone (which works famously if you enter the information correctly, I might need a smarter phone, if you know what I mean!)  i have lists and calendars, post it's. I have it all. One day, I'll get my shit completely together..until then, I'm hoping for forgiveness of my faults..some compassion, a little bit of empathy, and a fabulous Valentines Day..  here's a few of the lame cards I made.. ;)

Bruno..you're an asshat!

It's been almost a year since I contacted Bruno Reversade, a scientist based out of Singapore, who was interviewed in the January 2012 National Geographic article about twins. He's been all over the world, swabbing the cheeks of every twin he can find. When I initially contacted him with my own twin story, asking him if he'd come across another one like ours, he immediately responded and forwarded me a picture of a set of male twins in the UK, who had fathered identical twins. He had not heard of any female id. twins who had each given birth to identical twins. He sounded quite excited about my story, and asked me if my family and I would participate in his study. I agreed, and asked him if he would pass on my contact info to the twins in the UK, and that I would love to talk to another set of twins who have shared our experience. He said he would pass on my info, and then requested that I do a pedigree, or a family tree, and list as many twins as I could find. I obliged, signed up to Geni.com (which costs an arm and a leg by the way). Sent him  my fine family tree, and then  never heard back from him again.
I emailed him a couple of weeks after I had sent out my hard work, wondering if he had ever gotten my email. Nothing. A couple of weeks after that, I sent him this:

"hey
not sure what's up.. maybe you ran out of cheek swabs? maybe my emails don't reach Singapore?? I have no idea..but it's kinda rude. I just wanted to get some contact info on that set of twins in the UK, the set of twins that I have been searching for for 5 years..soooo again, unless you're dead, which I suspect your not, could you reply either way? "
Maybe that's a little harsh, but still. RUDE! I have no idea why that assbag never got back in touch with me. I am a bit suspicious however, and I  know this sounds paranoid, but I believe it has to do with his current study on linking twins genetically and the male twins in the UK. There was an International Twin conference held in Italy last spring, and the fine doctor presented his male twins. I don't know what his presentation was about, but in my paranoid brain I've come up with the idea that he was trying to get funding, or an award for his continued work on proving that identical twins are somehow linked to genetics. Perhaps he's been focusing on the male genes and my story would just put a kibosh on his theory somehow. I don't know, it is rude either way. I have issues with being pushed aside, and blown off.. can't help it. I can only hope that he's got a google alert for anything written about him. And if he does, then suck it Reversade!

It was a cold, fall night, and despite being grounded, I was about to head out to bring my older sister  some Motrin at work. Her cramps were awful, and I was more than obliged to take advantage of my mom attending one of her continuing ed. classes and sneak out. She would never know.  My boyfriend was more than willing to drive me to my sister's job, just so that he could have a minute or two alone with his sweetie.
We were leaving my house, when at the end of the driveway, he leaned over and kissed me. It was sweet, but if he hadn't, we would have avoided the accident we were about to get into about a mile up the road. He was driving his parents Chevy Celebrity, a Memere and Pepe car if there ever was one! We were rounding a corner, and that's when I saw the oncoming truck, taking a left and cutting right in front of us. I wasn't wearing a seat belt (the last time I ever made that decision) and I don't remember much more about the accident, except for a loud crash, breaking glass, then silence, then my name being shouted by my boyfriend. When I awoke from the crash, I was on the floor of the front seat. My side of the car was completely crushed in, as I felt pieces of tooth crumbling in my mouth, all I thought of was getting out of the car before it burst into flames. I had no idea if in fact it was gonna do that, but it always does in the movies, and at age 16, that was pretty much reality to me. It took all my strength to kick the door open, but somehow I did. I have never been so scared, in all my life. I was literally shaking. We were then met by the man who had hit us, assaulting us with questions about why we hadn't stopped..why did we just keep going.. Well, sir. We didn't stop, because there was no stop sign. Clearly, he was in the wrong, and we had witnesses to that effect. It didn't stop me from shaking. All I wanted to do was leave. I wanted to go home and pretend that this had never happened. After the police arrived, and determined that we were ok, they allowed us to walk to my boyfriends house, which was less than a mile down the road. From there, I called my older sister and had her come get me. His parents weren't so concerned about how we were, but more concerned for their dear car, which was totalled, but I believed they had fixed anyway. It was their love.
I arrived home before my mom had gotten back from her class and quickly went to bed. It wasn't until the following morning, that I confessed about my sneaking out and told her about the accident. She was furious that I had disobeyed her, but more furious that the police had just let us walk away. How did they know there wasn't anything wrong with us?? We ended up spending a good part of the day at the E.R. having xrays and what not, to make sure I hadn't broken anything.. I hadn't, and I was fine. I had chipped my two front teeth, and had a couple of loose ones, but a trip to the dentist for some filing, and I was fine. The loose ones held their own, and that was that. It was roughly 4 months later that I started having problems with my jaw. It kept locking on me, and the only way to unlock it was to move my lower jaw back and forth til it unlocked. I eventually ended up seeing an oral surgeon, who did an MRI and discovered that the disc inside my jaw (the meniscus) had slipped, and was causing my jaw to lock. The only fix was surgery, in which the doctor would pull the disc back up in place, and hope for the best. Recovering from surgery sucked, as it would, but the part that was suckier than that was when it slipped again less than a year later, and I had to have another operation in which to just remove the disc. Something that my doctor did not want to do to someone so young..since I would most likely have problems with it when I was older.
24 years later, and my jaw is fine. I remember the doctor telling me that I would most likely have problems with it when I hit 40, and that arthritis would likely set in. I'm patiently waiting, but happy to report that it's given me no problems thus far. Only time will tell..
Three years after the accident, I met my future husband. It wasn't until our 2nd or 3rd date, that he took me out in his mom's car. A Chevy Celebrity. Same make and model, different color..different boy..different time. I only drove in it a few times, until I got my own car (a geo metro, another chevy brand) which suited both my boyfriend and I just fine. I won't ever forget that night, when for a split second I passed out, fallen to the floor of the car. And I won't forget how I realized something so small, like a kiss, could alter your life forever.

Find Chevy trucks in PA a Reedman

Lois Mahalia

Every once and a while, I come across something worth sharing. I have been known to occasionally "over" share, but not today.
Recently, I was introduced to the beautiful voice of Lois Mahalia. She's an accomplished vocalist who has recently toured with Joe Walsh.  She's bluesy, soulful, and her voice sings to my heart..She has come out with a Christmas Album for kids appropriately titled "Feeling Like a Kid" but don't think for a second that grown ups alike won't fall in love!
Give her a listen, you can download the CD for just 7 bucks! Just go here to get it! You can also get a preview here. I promise, your kids, your family and your EARS will thank you for it! Now GO!!! ;)

Subbey Douby Do!

My senior year in high was a tumultuous time in my life, as it is for many kids facing adulthood. I was barely scraping by with my grades, and despite getting into Northeastern for journalism, the minute I stepped off the T in the "big city", I knew I could never go there. Opting for northern NH instead, in the mountains of Plymouth State. Those two schools couldn't have been more different from each other, but I felt safe in the woods, and exposed in the city.
One of the many struggles we had that year, my mom, sister and I, was transportation. We had a number of cars that year, but my favorite was my red Subaru station wagon. I loved that car! It had enough room for all my friends, and a cozy backseat for my boyfriend and I. Yes, we would take that car out, and find quiet places to go and talk. Yes, talk.. I was NOT that kinda girl! hhmm.. Anyway, I will never forget taking him to one of the many places I had lived in my childhood. This was one of my favorite places..not the house itself (the single wide we rented) but the property it was on. It stretched on for miles it seems and my sister and I used to spend hours exploring it. Part of it had been cleared by loggers, part of it was swamp and most of it were trails. Some people might call them roads..but not the people with any common sense! One of these roads,  led to the most beautiful pond, with the best swimming anywhere. It was private, and secluded, and I had to show him this. We could have walked in. That would have been smart, but I had four wheel drive in my subbey, so off we went. Roughly 20 feet into our adventure, I got the thing stuck. Really stuck. Despite my best efforts, and my boyfriends insistence that he could push it out, we had no such luck. With an impending curfew, and a mother who I knew was gonna kill me I was completely panicked. It wasn't long before someone had heard all our attempts at getting it unstuck, when the cops were called. Fabulous. I told them why we were there..because I had grown up down the road and had wanted to show him the pond..I'm sure they bought it... I coulda punched my boyfriend when he started telling the cops that his grandfather was a prominent judge in town. Shut up, no one wants to hear that you think you're "somebody" to get us off the hook. They weren't there to arrest us, so let's not brag about who we are, k? cause I was nobody to them, and I wanted to keep it that way. Thankfully, they just ignored his attempts to impress them, and called a tow truck for us.  My boyfriend had enough cash on him to cover it, (you know, cause his grandfather was a judge!)  and we got pulled out. The rest of our night was spent at the car wash trying to wash all the mud off the Subaru and hide any evidence from my mom. She wouldn't believe for one second that we were going out there just to see the pond. She had enough experience and abuse from my older siblings to keep my sister and I on a very short leash..even though, really, we didn't need it.
The car soon became my mom's, as I would be leaving for school in the mountains, and she would end up needing it more than me.. I miss that car. The way it (normally) handled the roads..when you actually stay on them! My nephew has a Subaru now, and so does my dad. They are a solid car, dependable, and are well priced. I think my ex-boyfriend ended up in a Subaru somewhere.. I'm sure he did. And I'm sure he probably told the guy selling him the car who his grandfather was! punk..

  For more information on some of the newer models by Subaru, go to Reedman Subaru, a top PA car dealership.

Wimps..or maybe not.

It's been a long couple of weeks. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but roughly 4 years ago, my husband injured his right shoulder, and has been suffering (not so silently) with it ever since. He can't pin point the exact thing he did to tear his rotator cuff. It could have been anything, from the countless hours he's spent carrying any and all of our four kids at some point during their earlier years. It could have been all the landscaping he's done over the years..or the jerking off!  I simply don't know, and could care less. I just wanted it fixed!
It's a fact. Men are wimps when it comes to pain. (am I right ladies, c'mon??) When my husband and I were first together, we went and got tattoo's. He went first, and got a lizard on his right shoulder blade. He had a thing for lizards when he was in his early 20's. He had two (supposedly both female) til one of them got pregnant, then subsequently died because the egg ruptured inside of her before being released. It's ok, don't cry. I was over that the minute those cold blooded little bitches got their own bathroom! And they got their own bathroom because 1.) they were aggresive little fuckers but needed more space than just a normal cage and 2.) because the bathroom they got had a heat lamp, and they stayed nice and cozy! There were many a night, a drunk friend, or even my husband would have to take a leak and couldn't wait for the "normal no lizards allowed" bathroom and started to do their business, and the more aggresive lizard would jump for the stream of pee.
Anyway, sorry about getting so side tracked. Let me see, oh yes, wimps! About 5 minutes into the painful tattoo, my husband fainted. Turned green like the lizard he was having put on his back, and fell over! Once he regained his composure, he let the guy finish, and then I had mine done. While it was painful, it was certainly nothing that was going to throw me to the floor. That was when I made up my mind about guys, and their wimpiness. All the rumors, were true! As women, I believe we are naturally more conditioned to endure physical pain, if we weren't, the human race would have epically failed after the first man gave birth.
So, back to my poor husband and his shoulder. When he finally did see his doctor, and had an MRI, it was discovered that he had a pretty significant torn rotator cuff. He tried physical therapy, and anti inflammatory medications, but nothing worked. He decided for surgery. I was all for whatever he thought was best, but I did ask if I could attend the meeting with the surgeon, because he lacked many answers to some pretty important questions.. like, how do they do it? How long will you be out of work? what's the time frame on healing that bad boy up? My husband was under the impression that he could go in on Friday, and be back to school on Monday. Uh, yea. It rarely goes down like that..as I discovered when the surgeon told me that he recommends most his patients take 2 weeks off from work! Not to mention the fact that he would be unable to lift anything heavier than a coffee cup for 8 weeks. It was an enlightening visit to say the least. When booking the surgery with the surgical staff, my husband was told their first opening was the day before Thanksgiving. Before I could oppose, my husband says "I'll take it!" to which I reply.."but we're hosting this year" to which he rebutts "Perfect!"
So, that is how it went down. He had to check in at noon the day before Thanksgiving, on an entirely empty stomach since midnight the day before. This may have been the hardest part for him. It's hard to tell a man who's metabolism runs like a freight train, not to eat for 18 hours! He did it though, despite his entire family eating like pigs in front of him! On his way to the OR, my husband told me that he loved me, and apologized in advance for the pain in the ass he was going to be later. That was heartfelt for him, I knew he was nervous..what if something went wrong..so telling me that was a big deal.
The surgery went really well, the assisting surgeon was someone my husband has "jammed" with before, as I discovered post op when he came back to talk to us in the recovery room, said it was "textbook" perfection..or something like that. It was a clean tear, which made fixing it that much easier.
Much to my surprise, my husband joined us for dinner the next day. I thought for sure he'd be in his bed crying about how bad it hurt (this is where the whole men are wimps comes in). He was not a wimp at all. I did everything for him, 3 hot meals a day, dressed him, gave him what he referred to a Portuguese shower..or sponge bath, washed his hair in the kitchen sink. And handled the kids, and that little holiday Thanksgiving. I had no idea how much I was going to love taking care of him. I hadn't thought of it, really. I knew he'd be layed up, but I didn't know how my maternal instinct was going to kick in, and he was going to be first priority. Maybe it was his gratitude, because he was grateful. Or maybe it was just nice to feel appreciated. Sometimes in the hub bub of our lives, we have little time for appreciation. It wasn't just one way either. I was appreicative of all he does, and could no longer do. And for once, instead of him taking care of all of us (in a deeper way than just the monetary support he provides) I was able to take care of him. I was his lifeline. And I kinda dug that! He said more than once how useless he felt, when he saw me running from one thing to the next. He often would try to help, which I never allowed. I didn't want his head to get too big either..and told him I wasn't going to be nice forever, so he better get the hell back to bed, and let me do it!
He was back in school teaching and coaching the following Monday. He was so much stronger than I had ever given him credit for. We have not had so much as a disagreement since his surgery, and there have been many opportunities! We have instead decided not to sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short, and in the end the most important things will be what you've done for the people you love, and the impact that that has had on them...it's simple..

The New, and Improved Ford Fiesta..as cute as ever!

When I was a kid, there were many cars that came and went through my family. My earliest memory was the green pinto that my mom tooled us around in.  What I remember most about this car was how it always seemed to stale, in the middle of downtown. When I was nine(ish), I remember my aunt's Ford Fiesta. It was a turquoise bluish/green, small, and totally adorable. At that time my folks were driving a Ford Econoline van, which was HUGE, you could have fit 3 of the fiesta's in it. This particular aunt was my favorite, and even though she was only a few years younger than my mom, she seemed more like a sister to me.

I remember when she got rid of the car, in favor of a Chevette. It wasn't nearly as cute, and she later ended up regretting it. The fiesta got great gas mileage, almost 40 mpg. Much like the days we live in today, gas prices back then were also a concern. My aunt was a single mom, and needed something reliable, and something economical. She truly found that in the fiesta.

Moving forward almost 30 years, Ford has come out with the new and improved Ford Fiesta. Much like it's precedessor, it's economical, reliable, and adorable. If I wasn't chained to my loser cruiser, at least for another 12 years..then I would buy one of these in a heartbeat..for the mileage, and the dependability that comes with Ford.

Here's a Fiesta from the 80's..

And one from today..I'm not sure which I like better.. ;)

The newer model is a lot more aerodynamic in design, and offers drivers better fuel-efficiency. The older model might offer those of you that great feeling of nostalgia, which is fine, but for those of you who are a fan of the newer models. Then you can go ahead and take a look at your local ford dealership, or at Salt Lake City Ken Garff Ford dealers. Either way you look at it either Fusion is adorable.

Keeping it, not so personal..

I am so glad that once again, the American public has proved it's not just a bunch of Jersey Shore watching, Hollywood obsessed morons, and did the right thing by keeping our current president in office. Before anyone thinks I'm political, let me just say I AM NOT! I will be the first one to avoid talking politics, and the first one to admit that I know very little on the topic. I do, however, feel quite confident that I understand the character of people, the empathy that they either posses, or simply do not.
I saw in Romney, a narcissistic, self serving jackass, only in politics because he needed to prove something to his Daddy. Where I found Obama to be the type of man who first entered politics, not to end up as president one day, but to make a difference, which I believe he has, and is still working on..it's not like he walked into a mess that he could clean up in just one term.
Politics are something that my husband and I rarely discuss. As long as I've known him, he has been very private with who he votes for. Last week after he came back from voting, I asked him the same thing I ask him after every election. "Who'd ya vote for?" And like always, I got "It's personal" He always ends up telling me that he voted for someone, this year he told me that he wrote in Ron Paul. But later he said it was Romney. He's full of shit, and I never believe him. 
Two days before the election, I took advantage of some nice weather and took down the few decorations I  had up for Halloween. This inspired me to start putting up some Christmas ones, anything that gets me out of my house when everyone else is in it, I am all over!  It all sort of evolved into my very own political statement..it didn't start out that way, but I decided to go the polar opposite of my husband, and didn't keep it personal, at all!
The lights only remained lit for about 30 minutes, just enough time for my sister to see it, and some random people driving by to get a picture if it. In my opinion, keeping your political opinion "personal" is so old school. Who cares? And jeesh buddy, I'm your WIFE!! There are some things that you should keep personal, such as your social security number..or your vagina! I think he might not be getting too personal with mine anytime soon! ;)

You can write an essay too!!

Who doesn't like to win free stuff? I found this blog online recently, and entered to win a Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk. Let's face it, it's a sweet looking car, and I'm pretty sure I would look damn cute in it! Oh, I kid..But honestly,  while I adore my loser cruiser, it's nearing it's 10th year, and recently we had to sink a significant amount of money into it. I have come to grips with the fact that she will not live forever. So, free stuff, please come my way! ;)
The contest details are included here in this link: http://blog.jeep.com/2012/10/24/enter-the-jeep-trailhawk-tough-blog-contest/ It's an easy 1000 letter essay, which is about as much as I've written so far in this post. easy peasy lemon squeezy. You have to describe what would make you "Trailhawk Tough" or what HAS made you trailhawk tough.  Again, easy, anything can make you tough. Having 4 kids has made me tough (and mildly insane..but I didn't tell THEM that! ;) So, go on, and enter! If you don't like a chance to win a NEW, free car, then you're a nub. Below the gorgeous jeep, is my essay. In case you need some inspiration! ;)

"If there is anything that makes you tough, it is motherhood. What would make you trailhawk tough? Twins. My husband and I had two beautiful boys, and our family was complete. My 3rd pregnancy was a surprise. Finding out they were twins was a shock, I went into survival mode. Single pregnancies are cake compared to growing two babies at once. Your body is forever changed, and not necessarily in a good way. Ask any mom of twins about her twinskin! If you're lucky, you'll have a smooth pregnancy, maybe you'll enjoy the "glow" that everyone has told you you have, maybe you'll see that glow. I didn't. Then when you've expanded so far that you believe you might split wide open, you'll meet your babies. It will make you tough in a way that you never knew possible. It will challenge you, your family, your relationships. Everything. But if your tough, you'll come out on top. All the sacrifices you make as a mother, the sleepless nights, the many trips to the ER, this is what makes you tough. "

If you are on the market for a new vehicle, and are interested in purchasing a new Jeep SUV. Then you should consider looking at the Reedman Toll Chrysler Inventory, serving Philedelphia, PA    I spent a lot of time browsing their options, and I really liked what they had to show.

Under Our Skin

I have had two tick bites in my life. Both of those ticks carried Lyme disease. Last summer I came down with it, and luckily I had the trademark bulls eye to prove it, since my blood work came back negative. This past July, I came down with the same symptoms again, but had no bulls eye.  The last tick bite I had was in April, so I thought I was in the clear since I hadn't become sick. I didn't know that you can be bit by a Lyme diseased tick, and not get sick from it for several months. I also didn't know that something like 50% of people with Lyme's don't get a bulls eye, and that blood tests are highly unreliable. It was because I knew the symptoms, and knew what to do.
My doctor is not completely with me on my feelings about Lyme disease. She's following the Infectious Disease Society of America's (the IDSA) guidelines, which are highly biased, and quite frankly are making people with Lymes sicker. She agreed however to put me on 2 weeks of the antibiotic doxycycline, and reluctantly agreed to one week more when I asked her to treat me just like she had the last time. I'm not a fan of the antibiotic, it took me a few days of taking it before I could finally hold it down. It's nasty, but untreated Lyme disease is far nastier.
I have a cousin, who is 13 now. 4 years ago, she was bit by a tick at school. The nurse removed it, and told her mother to watch out for the bulls eye. There was no bulls eye, but about 9 months later, she became very sick with flu like symptoms. Her mother had her tested for Lymes, and it came back negative. She took some antibiotics and didn't get better. It wasn't until her mom took her back for more blood work that they discovered Lymes. After visiting one of the only Lyme literate pediatric doctors in the country, she spent a year on IV antibiotics and has been pain free for 2 years. The problem with seeing a Lyme literate doctor, is that your insurance won't cover it, based on the IDSA's guidelines. Lyme is considered treated after 3 weeks of doxycycline. This is true of some cases like mine, but if its left untreated, it is significantly harder to reverse. Did I mention that over half of the doctors on the IDSA board work for the insurance companies? Hardly sounds like a fair match. There is a wonderful documentary that everyone should see. It's called "Under Our Skin" it can be found on Netflix as well as your local library. I believe that one day they are going to find cures for diseases of unknown origin, such as MS, Lou Gehrig's disease and Parkinson's. I also believe that the unknown origin will be untreated Lymes. But that's just my opinion. Go watch the movie and make up your own mind!

Change Is A Coming..

Soon you'll see different things here on my blog. I was contacted a few weeks ago by a guy named Dicky. Yes, dicky. He works for a marketing company and is representing  a local automotive group. He's offering some local bloggers money for ad placement, customer reviews, and  such on their blogs. Sign me up. Sell me out. Whatever, I need some cash! So, if you see new stuff here, please check it out! The more clicks the better! When I heard from this guy, we scheduled a phone call, twice. He emailed me the day of the call, and said he didn't have time to talk, and would I be available the following day, same time. Sure, because I have nothing else going on. I waited for his call for about an hour, before I said fuck it, I've got shit to do, and just thought he was a flake. Whatever. It was about a week later, that I awoke in the middle of the night (where I do my most logical thinking) and got really pissed, who does this Dicky  think I am? I mean, if you say you're going to call someone, then just fucking call them! So, despite wanting to email him right then and there, I decided to at least wait until the sun had come up. Nothing says crazy bitch better than  sending an email to a total stranger all fuming and pissed, in the middle of the night!
My email was simple, and straightforward. I wrote "Was it something I said? Or wrote? Just curious why you blew me off last week" There. easy peasy lemon squeezy. He responded right away. He was very apologetic, and thought he had sent me an email about rescheduling (which he did not) And he still wanted me to be part of the whole blog rental thing, or whatever it's called. Fine. I emailed him back, apologetic as well..sounding less like a wounded chick waiting for a boy to call her, and more like the witty, mildly insecure girl that I am.
So, in short, I'm hoping to be blogging more,  I'm not sure how it will all pan out. If it'll be worth any of the aggravation of putting myself out there, but I gotta try and do my part..I created a page on facebook for my little blog..feel free to like it, and comment, tell me what you think (unless it's negative, cause then can just keep it to your freakin self!) kid. I kid..I love constructive criticism. really.  My loser cruiser is currently at the shop getting itself a fancy new exhaust, and water pump. Which isn't cheap btw! And I need a purpose, besides being a wife, a mom, a seamstress, and just an overall awesome person..;)