Almost There..

It's amazing how one day you can be so down and out that you literally don't know what you're going to do with your family and your life.. and the next day you are bouncing along with a new outlook, and a new hope.
It's manic.
And as happy as I am right this second, I have no idea if the rest of today is going to bring me down again.. We are "almost there" as my mortgage broker is saying.. I have scanned, and emailed, and scanned and emailed some more.. I don't think there's a sheet of paper in my house that I haven't forwarded to my broker. But I am willing to do whatever it takes at this point. The issues with my student loan seemed to have been resolved. Thank god for that. Today we should know for sure, and despite the fact that I have lost most of my faith in my broker, she is confident that we will have our approval and commitment letter today. We shall see..
I want to thank all my wonderful friends who offered words of encouragement and support.. Brian, you really surprised me with your Abe Lincoln quote, but I loved it.. and all the other comments, and the emails.. thank you! You all rock!

On the Verge of Being Homeless..

I woke up this morning realizing this. We are quite possibly going to be homeless come next Monday.
I got a call from my mortgage broker last night saying that the bank is questioning my credit. We are supposed to close in less than a week, and NOW they are wondering why my credit is less than perfect.
My mortgage broker KNEW this.. She's had all my info for months.. literally.
I spent my night writing letters to people I don't know, trying to explain why I have an outstanding debt that has followed me since I was 18. It was all I could do not to just beg and plea to please give us the loan.. we have 4 kids.. and we have already sold our home.. we will have no where to go.. And yes, I sound pathetic, but that is exactly what I'm feeling. Pathetic. Low. Scared. I didn't sleep last night, I just kept thinking about my kids and how my house is not going to be mine anymore, and if someone at the bank doesn't think we should be given a loan, then we won't be.
I'm not quite sure how I'm going to make it through today.. I've got all the kids, and it's been all I can to do to keep my own kids from seeing me cry.. The medium told me that March was going to be stressful. Yea, I get it..

I'll never move again!

Who knew it was going to be almost impossible, and very costly to insure an authentic log cabin? Certainly not me. And who also knew that an appraisal would take over a week to get back. Not me again.. And who knew we would miss our financing deadline and stand to lose over 4 grand? Definitely not me.
It has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life, and it's only Tuesday. I've been on the phone with all different sorts trying to get everything ready for our big move next Sunday, and the closing on Monday. Yesterday I dropped too much money and had a dumpster delivered because we have too much shit that I refuse to move with us. I also found out that my youngest son's bus will not drop him off in front of our new house, but 2 doors down, even though they will pass my house after he's dropped off. Apparently they don't have the 2 minutes it would take to save me a trip up the street dragging 5 kids with me. I've got to get in a really bitchy mood and call and complain. I'm well on my way, believe me!
We had our new house appraised last Monday, and still don't have it back. This is making the sellers, as well as ourselves, very annoyed. And as far as insuring it, that could be very difficult. But I'm working on it..
This time next week, I'll either be unpacking at our new house, or a rental which we might be forced to do.. I can't imagine it's going to go down like that, but it's possible. It's not all terrible though. My husband attended the school budget meeting over the weekend, and it looks as though his job is going to be spared. Thank god for that. Ok, I gotta go and make more calls, do more packing and see what else I can do to make this happen.. ugh..

She is certainly not helping me pack!

I've been trying to pack up almost 7 years of ours lives, with 4 kids.. It ain't easy. The hardest part, at least for me tonight, is sorting through things that make me reflect, in turn which make me very sad. I've been working in my kitchen, where I found a casserole dish that used to belong to my grandmother. I never use this dish, and the only reason I keep it was because on the bottom, in her handwriting is her name. Inside this dish, I had forgotten that I put one of the many remembrance cards I had saved from her funeral in it, along with her picture case from her wallet.. and my first pair of baby shoes, which had my initials on the bottom, again in her handwriting.
I miss her. everyday.
I know she is walking with me.. but damn, I have a lot to do, and I would just like it if she would stop interrupting my packing efforts! jeesh..

Distractions..

I can't blame this one on facebook! My sister in law and pregnant niece stopped by for a visit today. I hadn't seen them in quite some time, and despite my verbal pleas, I still managed to fail to get outside to get my 5 year old off the bus.
By the time I got to the door, after realizing what time it was, it was just heading down the street. My efforts to flag it down went unnoticed. A couple minutes later I got the call from the school, and ended my visit short to go pick him up.
The entire way, I was fearing the worst. I haven't been this nervous probably since my adolescence. I expected to find my son, a heaped over mess on the bus, in shock that his mother had not been outside waiting for him, too flustered with tears to be able to even talk to me.. Naturally, the opposite was the case, and thank god, some other parent had a "miscommunication" as well, so he wasn't the only kid on the bus being sent back to school. Ugh.. I swear, if this happens again I am going to turn myself in to child and family services, because clearly, I am not fit to be responsible for anything living! jeesh..

Deadlines and the rest of my shitty week...

Today is the buyers deadline. They have to report back to us, what, if anything they want fixed. They never did the septic inspection, so yay for that! I've started packing, although it's hard with all the kids around.
Yesterday my husband came home and told me that next Saturday the town where he teaches is going to vote on whether to keep art and music in their town. Meaning that he might not have a job next fall. I never thought the economy and cut backs would ever effect us. But it might. Naturally, I'm freaking out.. we are about to move, and he might be unemployed. I'm hoping that the parents do the right thing and keep art and music in their school. I wouldn't want my children going to a school where there was no other extra curricular activities besides P.E. Really, who gives a shit about gym. I mean, I don't have any good memories about being in grade school and the awkward gym class. Right? Art, however, and music was something I loved being a part of. We shall see.
One more thing that has also bummed me out this week, I went to work the other day, and tried opening my journal on my work p.c. only to find that it was deleted by some scanning device for "profanity" I've had this draft journal going in my microsoft outlook for over 8 years. I considered it mine. I know it was on their computer, and that technically, they owned it. I just never thought because I swore in my own personal journal, that it would get deleted. I started a new one though, the next day, and as much as I wanted to curse, I refrained. It didn't make me feel any better though, as that was the only written collections of my life and my families life for the past 8 years.. son of a mother fucking bitch.. I'm pissed!
Anyway, now I'm off to try to get some more cleaning and packing done.. it feels bittersweet though.. but what ever is meant to be.. yada frickin yada..

Rocking out with their Daddy..

Yesterday my husband and his band played a benefit show at an indoor rock climbing place. It was a family event, so I brought all the kids to see their dad do what he does while they are usually sleeping. It was great to see my boys so excited to hear their dad's music. With each new song, my oldest son would yell to me, while covering his ears, that he's heard his dad practice this a million times. It was really cute. I sat in the back of the room, with both girls on my lap, pinching the shit out of my hands, while their dad played.. The boys were running wildly after the first couple of songs.. they are after all kids, and their attention span did not mature just because their dad was playing in a band..
I must mention, again, that this was an indoor rock climbing facility. And while there was a band playing, and a guy there making balloon animals, there were still rock climbers there.. As I sat in the back of the room, on the floor, I had to be vigilant, as there were literally kids falling from the sky! Or the ceiling.. whatever.. it was mildly annoying (to say the least) but only my oldest got clobbered from a falling kid.. jeesh. All in all it was fun.. I'm glad that the kids got to see their daddy rocking it out..

Packing.. or Crying..

I'll be doing one or the other next Thursday.. The buyers of our house have to meet their deadline after the inspections and decide if they are going to move forward and actually purchase our house. They had their home inspection here on Wednesday, with a brand new inspector. He saw some things the other inspector did not see (nothing major) and didn't see some a couple of things the other inspector saw, like the bowed wall in our addition built by my husband. yay for a new set of eyes, that apparently don't see as well!!
Today they came by and did the appraisal. We decided we didn't want to know what the appraisal came in at, even though we weren't sure if the buyers would tell us anyway. We know that we are bending over, but so are the people we are buying our new house from. Our hopes are that they are going to see what the appraisal is, and know they are getting a great deal, and the final inspection (the septic) will mean little because they will have instant equity. That's my hope anyway.
I'm not getting much sleep these days. This morning I woke up at 5, and wondered if we're doing the right thing.. we're going to be taking on a more expensive mortgage, but we are also going to be moving out of a condo, on a busy street, to a single family home with more than one shower, in a great neighborhood.. I really have to keep telling myself that.. we are 6 people LIVING IN A CONDO!! And as nice as it is.. it's still a condo, and we are all growing out of it, pretty quick.
This has been years in the making too.. if this works out, it will be what is meant to be.. This house we are buying, was the first one we looked at, and what made us decide to put our house on the market.. It's in the same school district, which is HUGE! And we know people in the neighborhood already, which will make the "bus transition" for the boys much easier.. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that next week, when all is said and done, and we know a tiny bit more about the future of our family, I will in fact be freaking out because I have to pack an entire house, full of shit, instead of bawling about another house lost.. wish me luck, okay?? :)

What If..

I just spent the last couple of hours, wondering what if..
My 8 year old son went to a friends house today, someones house he has been too dozens of times..
Today when I dropped him off, we were met at the front door by his friend.. I said goodbye, and told him I would be back at 5.. When I came home, my husband told me that he thought they had guns in the house.. I said he could be right, but I also thought that they were very responsible, and would surely have them locked up out of the kids reach.
I got there at 5, to pick him up, and thought it was weird (to say the least) that not one of the parents came out to see me. I just stood in their dining room with my son and his friend while my son got his coat and his boots. All the while I am standing there, in their dining room, looking at their disaster of a house. I'm certainly not judging them on the shape of their house, even though you could not see the dining room table due to all the crap on it, or the kitchen counters for that matter. What did strike me was the gun on the dining room table. Just sitting there. I have no idea what kind of gun it was, and that didn't matter much to me. It was a gun, and two minutes before there had been 2 8 year old boys unsupervised with that gun. I also saw a cabinet in their dining room, flanked by two deer heads, full of guns. And not one visible lock on it.
When I got home, I told my husband what I had seen.. We then asked my son if his friend had ever played with any of the guns. He quietly told us that his friend did, but that they didn't have any ammunition in it. And that sometimes his friend would tease him with a gun, by pointing it at him and chasing him around the house. I can't tell you the horror I felt at that moment, I'm sure you can imagine. My husband told him right then, that today was the last day he would be playing at this boy's house. To make him understand why, I asked him to think about the "what ifs". What if this boy was playing with a gun that he thought had no bullets in it, when in fact it did, and what if he pointed it at him, and it accidentally went off. What if then.. He understood, and said he didn't want to imagine that. Neither did I...
Jesus. When I think about what could have happened.. and thank god, what didn't.. it just infuriates me. His friend is more than welcome to come over to here to play, but there's not a chance in hell he'll be going back there.. son of a bitch.

Paid For..

Well, after 6 years of payments, I am happy to announce that we are officially the owners of our very own LOSER CRUISER!! When I look back at the snowy, Presidents Day when we bought the van, with my oldest son being 2 1/2 and my second on the way.. I never would have thought that 6 years later, I would have 4 kids, and be totally trapped to a mini van.. FOREVER.. or what seems like forever.. my days of driving a cute little sedan, are not in my near future.. I am however, very happy to be saving close to $300 bucks a month.. and even though I refer to it as my "loser cruiser", at 36, I still look pretty cute in it! haha...

Home Inspections.. and My Husband the Skinhead..

So the couple we low balled came to an reasonable number, and we are officially under contract. Today we are going over to the new house for the home inspection. I can't wait to get in there and see it again.. it's been months since I last set foot on the property, I hope I still like it!
We are set to close on the 23rd of March, if all goes well with the inspections at our house.. if not, then we'll be out about a grand.. and will officially be the lamest home owners on the planet, and the third time will not be a charm. Son of a bitch. I can't even think about that right now.. I'm too busy moving myself in to the new house.. which is in the cutest neighborhood, a place where my boys will finally be able to ride their bikes (well, once we get them some and teach them how to ride it..) The home owners are trying to include a cat in the deal.. my boys are adamant that they do not want a cat.. I'll see what kind of cat it is today and if it's something I could live with, most likely not. I'm not a pet person, and cats smell.
Oh, and my husband surprised me yesterday when I came home from the grocery store with a completely shaved head. Down to the skull. I think it looks good. He called me today from school, to ask me why I didn't tell him that it looked terrible. Um, because it doesn't.. I guess some of the teachers at school voiced a not so positive opinion on his new doo.. poor guy. Here's a pic..

Her Favorite M&M...

Would appear to be the yellow one. Why else would she shove it up her nose? I didn't realize anything was up there until I saw a little yellow goo trickling down her nose.. followed by the brown chocolate. She managed to blow the rest of it out, and has yet to see what would happen if she put a red or blue one up there..

The Low Balled Have Become the Low Ballers..

We are awaiting word if a divorced couple will accept our ridiculously low offer on their house. They actually countered offered, but we couldn't go any higher. Their house isn't even on the market, they had taken it off a month or so ago and were going to wait until the spring. Apparently the wife wants to sell it to us, and the husband (who is unemployed living in Florida) wants to get top dollar.
I can't blame them at all, and in fact, I'm pretty sure they would either have to be crazy or just desperate to accept our offer.. but only time will tell..
In other news, I'm bringing my 5 year old to the pediatrician's this morning. He was up all night with the worst sounding cough, and has a fever, which he has had on and off for several days now. I love bringing my kids to the dr's. So many germs. And they love us there too! It's always a weekend when we go. My kids just can't seem to get their sick in during regular business hours. ugh.

So the house we wanted, and the only one in this town that we could afford, was sold over the weekend, to someone else.. Of course I'm hoping it falls apart..maybe they won't get financing, or maybe there are parents involved who are going to talk them out of it.. I have my fingers crossed tightly for their misfortune. I know, it's nice isn't it?
We had to tell the people interested in our house that the deal was off.. I wasn't so sad about that considering the fact that I thought they were total douches.. This has opened up our horizons a bit.. we are looking at a house in a neighboring town, the town both my husband and I grew up in. It would mean the boys would have to change schools, and honestly I don't know how psyched I am about doing that. Ctale told me it would be like taking off a band aid, painful at first, but quick to heal.. I think we are going to absolutely have to love this house in order for me to want to move. Really really love it..

Dumping It AFV style..

I posted this video on my blog last summer. The funniest kayak dump ever taken by my dear friend lnotes! Also known as the balancer of all things that float! Ctale had since uploaded it to America's Funniest Home Video's, and apparently they would like to use it on their show.. too funny.
AFV is my boys favorite show, and they were simply elated when they learned that the video ctale took was going to be on their show.. They also thought that we would all be going to the show, and be on t.v. Um, yea, I quickly explained that one away.. anyway, hope you watch it and laugh as hard as I do every time I see it!

I just want to move on with my life.. really I do!

And I would like to stop blogging about the sale of my house, and I'm sure the 3 people that read this silly blog would like the same thing!
We are officially under contract (for the 3rd time) and are awaiting word on whether or not the sellers of the house we want will accept our offer (again, for the 3rd time). This time is different, as there is another offer on the table. Son of a bitch. I woke up this morning to an email from my realtor saying that there would be a showing this morning, as well as another offer. My realtor advised me to write a letter to the seller's, basically begging them to choose us. Without sounding totally pathetic, I did, and my realtor added some final touches, and we have asked to have an answer by noon tomorrow. At this point, I would like to go to sleep until we know, then go back to sleep until all the inspections are done. That's not too much to ask is it? An anxiety induced coma??
Anyway, we shall wait and see.. as patiently as I can..

I'm off to the doctor's in a bit with one of my girls. She is covered in a very attractive red rash. She's on day 9 of amoxicillin, and 2 days free from a 3 day stint of diarrhea. It's been so much fun!

The assholes that put the offer in on our house have decided to "walk away" because they did not appreciate us bending over backwards for them by coming down $20K instead of $50K. Whatever. I still have a feeling they'll be back. They're insane if they don't.

We're getting more snow tomorrow.. I'm trying not to cry as it's only January and we have literally got no where to put it. This winter has been dragging on forever, and we're only in the first month of it. son of a bitch.

On a brighter note, my husband and I got out over the weekend for dinner.. alone. It was lovely. My nephew gave us a gift card for Christmas at the schwanky restaurant he works at. He reserved us a table, waited on us, and bought our drinks, appetizers and dessert. It was very generous of him, and great to see him doing what he does so well.

Ok, I gotta get my daughter prepped for the doctor's, a place where she completely dreads going. Another fun day!

Unbelievable..

We got the offer this morning... for $50K less than asking. Which happens to also be less than the town has appraised it for, and less than what we paid for it 6 1/2 years ago. Mother fuckers.
Of course we said NO! With a huge insulting wtf.. now we're waiting to see if they take their heads out of their asses and come up with a reasonable offer.. I thought we were done with the crazies.. guess not!

I'll believe it when I see it..

My realtor called me this afternoon. She got an email from the agent who brought back a couple for a second showing this past Monday. I guess we'll be getting an offer tomorrow.. I'm reluctant to get too excited, but naturally I can't help it.. I hope it's a good offer, and I hope they're going to be reasonable and will at the very least, negotiate.. Here we go, yet again..

Biting..

My oldest twin has picked up the rather unsavory habit of biting. If she gets frustrated with her sister, which is a daily event for my 2 1/2 year old, then she will latch onto whatever body part is closest. This morning it was her face.. her cheek to be more exact. I'm not sure how to stop this behavior. I put her in a time out, but that seems to be lacking in impact. And I'm not sure that I want to bite her myself (that's some advice I've been given in the past.. just bite her back..) ugh.. what to do, what to do..
Here's a pic of my poor little girl..

Sick..

This past month has been the worst month in our house in years. It started off a couple days after Christmas, when my husband got sick. He's worst than any of the kids, or all of them combined. Then my youngest one got it, running a close second with his dad for not being all that gracious when sickness hits. Then I got it. The glue that holds this whole thing together.. of course I didn't get the "just go to bed" treatment that my husband got, but whatever.. I was quickly over what ailed me, and back to being the glue. Days later, my older son got it. And when I say "got it" I mean fever, puking, and shitting non stop.
A few days after that, I got something else. An ear infection. A grown woman getting an ear infection, something I hadn't experienced since childhood, and had no memory of. It pretty much blew chunks, and really, I've never felt pain like that before with the exception of child birth. After a day on the azithromycin, I was on the mend. However, 10 days later, when I still could not hear out of the infected ear, my doctor discovered it was still infected, so I'm on day 3 of augmentin. This had better work!
Thursday, my youngest twin woke up with a crusty eye, and we found out she had an ear infection as well. This morning, after getting no sleep last night with her sister, and driving her to the pediatrician's office in a blizzard, we found out that she had a double ear infection, conjunctivitis and a perforated ear drum. Nice. She is now on amoxocillin like her sister. Christ.
I've been a mad woman today, cleaning. We have a second showing tomorrow. This couple saw the house about a month ago, and have decided they want to see it again. I haven't been able to stop thinking about the medium that I met about 3 weeks ago, he said there would be disappointment before we moved (yes, there has been that) and he said we would be out of our house in 2 months.. that would put us in a new house by March.. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. and I'm hoping the sick that has been brewing at our house for the past month, is moving on!

Farewell to Bush.. you douche!

I watched about 30 seconds of Bush's farewell speech tonight.. I mostly heard "this is so much better" and "that is so much better".. ugh.. what a putz..
My 8 year old came down stairs to say good night about 15 seconds into the speech. He asked when Obama was going to be the President. I told him next week, and he said that he sure hoped Obama would keep some of the same laws as Bush did.
When I asked him what laws he was worried would change, he answered simply "you know, like no littering"
What a relief it was for him to hear that just because a new President came into office, we would still have our laws. Our simple little laws that would help to keep our neighborhoods clean. I love the simplicity in which an 8 year old mind lives.. so refreshing!

Baby Alive..

My niece brought over her baby alive doll that she got for Christmas this year. I guess it pees and poops in it's diaper.. it's not enough that I have 4 other babies here that do the same thing. On the bright side, this baby isn't going to care when I don't feed it, change it or give it any attention.. It would be a sweet gig watching a bunch of baby alive dolls eh?

It's all about who you know..

We've been trying to "fix" all that is wrong with our house over the past week. I can't stress how important knowing people has become. My husband's brother in law came by last week and did a huge host of electrical things for us (including re-wiring the electric heat upstairs which we've never used because we've never needed to). Putting in 3 new smoke detectors (ours weren't up to code because they didn't have a batter back up.. who knew?) And some new grounded outlets in the kitchen, for free! He was here all day, and only charged us for the cost of supplies. Sweet!

We then had a plumber come out and give us an estimate on fixing a leak in our water softening system (that we have never used the entire 6 1/2 years that we've lived here.) Turns out the leak is not an easy, or inexpensive fix, and after paying this guy $60 to tell us this, he then gave us an estimate of $1600 for the fix. Again, we found a guy who my husbands brother knows and had done some work for us a few years ago. He's here now doing it for $1200. Luckily, our water softener also softens our neighbor's water..so she'll have to pay for half. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the money right now and will have to pay us back. great.

We've still got some other minor fixes to take care of, but for the most part we are done. The owners of the house we want to buy have lowered their price. Only by $5,000, but still. I only hope to hear back from my realtor soon. The showing that we had on Friday went well. She loved it, course they all do.. This woman however has some volunteer position in the town she lives in, one that can help her career and open lots of doors for her. She found out that morning, that in order to maintain her appointment in that town, that she must also live there. Frick. I doubt someone is going to switch career paths to live here.. but who knows?? I'm still waiting for another showing for some guy that has been in touch with my realtor. More waiting.. it sucks!

Some good things.. and less whining..

Amidst all the crap going on with my house (which in the grand scheme of things means very little) I haven't posted any of the good things that have been whirling about. First of all, my dear friend Blogless is prego! She's about 16 weeks, and looking quite mahvelous! She would warn all of you not to drink the water at my house, because she is in fact having TWINS! What are the chances folks, really? But I am so happy for her, and hope that I can be as helpful to her as she has been with me. My good friend who was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago, finally got a "real" diagnosis, from doctor's who know what they are doing. On Monday, he had a major surgery that involved removing part of his lung, and several lymph nodes. They were told that he has sarcoidosis, an inflammatory disease, but not a deadly one. He'll be on meds for a while, but he's also going to be with his family for a lot longer than even they were thinking! yea for that!
And finally, my cousin delivered a healthy set of boy/girl twins on New Years Eve, 5 weeks early, but everyone is home, and everyone is doing well.
So, it's not all that bad.. there is so much good going on, and for a moment, I thought I would like to focus on that.. ahhh.. I feel so much better (oh, and a good piece of news on the home front, we have a showing tomorrow, and another one pending! yeeha!)

The House That Won't Sell.. a.k.a. MY HOUSE!!!

So once again, my hopes of moving my family into a bigger house has been dashed. Son of a bitch. The past few days have been like a living nightmare. First of all, we had our inspection here on Friday. We got news on Monday that the buyer didn't want anything fixed that was discovered in the report. Great! And secondly, she didn't want to have the septic inspected because she figured if it's not broken, why fix it. Great!
Then, the next day, Tuesday, I woke up with the worst ear pain I have ever experienced. After seeing my doctor and learning that I had a full blown ear infection, I was giving some antibiotics and sent on my way. I came home to my full house of kids and my mother, to learn that my realtor had called. I figured she had some news on the house we were trying to get, and the copy of the inspection that had been done 2 months ago. But soon I found out that the reason for her call was to tell me that the 37 year old buyer, had forwarded the inspection report to her mother in Florida, the same woman who had been a thorn in our side for over a month. We knew it was a matter of time before the smooth sailing would end, and the mother who was financing her daughter was again going to be a thorn in our side.
Turns out, the mother wasn't nearly as unreasonable as this woman's step father. He went through the 32 page inspection report, and insisted that we fix everything. Including things such as the lock on our slider, which works just fine, but is at the bottom of the door, and he wanted it on the top. He also went through it and added deductions which totaled well over what we were willing to drop our price to. For example, he wanted $1,000 off for an unfinished threshold in the basement. Something that would literally cost about $10 to fix. ugh..
When I saw this, I knew it was the end. The deal was slipping through our fingers. We tried in vain to appease them and had an electrician come out yesterday in an effort to fix some of things on their list. It didn't matter. They were done. This woman who is well into her adult life apparently has some issues with her parents. I should also mention that this woman has 3 children, all of whom she doesn't have custody of. I don't know what this says about her, but there are dynamics in that family that we were briefly sucked into. Mother fuckers.
So, we're back on the market, and because of the inspection we now have to disclose every stupid little thing that is wrong with our some what older home. frick. I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude, but what the fuck. I keep remembering what the medium told me. He said we would be out of this house in two months. On the bright side, there is a guy interested, and hopefully we'll have a showing this weekend. I'm just so tired of the roller coaster.. anyway, in my house today are 7 kids.. 4 of whom are ill. why am I blogging? I don't know..

Not a Curse Word..

My husband found a remembrance card in a coat pocket of his the other day. It was my grandmother's, from her funeral. I was reading it with my 5 year old on my lap, all the while he's asking who the man is on the front of the card. I told him it was Jesus. Quietly, he says "Mom, you just said a bad word.." Nice.

Sale Pending..

This is now what is on our for sale sign in front of the house. We are pending.. Kind of like purgatory for the catholic folk.. We've been here before, and quite honestly, I'm doubting a move will even happen, but a part of me (the part that thinks positively) is thinking, that this is it. We are definitely moving.
So many things have happened to get us into this new place. Things that make me think this is meant to be. The fact that it was already pending with someone else.. the fact that they gave it up because of an inspection issue, which the seller has fixed. Seeing this place on line, and thinking no way would I live there, then being talked into seeing it by my realtor, and realizing the pictures didn't do it justice, and in fact this could be perfect for us. We are getting this for $84,000 less than the original asking price. Not bad. And even though we are selling our place for way less than we ever thought we would, we are no doubt making up for it on the buying end.
The previous house we almost got a year and a half ago, in another town, didn't go through because we were meant to move 2 miles down the road, and have the same great schools for our kids. The only downside, is that my boys will have to take different buses. Imagine the horror this is for them. They are quite adamant that they don't want to move. They don't like the new house- but mainly because it's empty, and there is no t.v. They aren't really understanding the concept of "moving" But they'll get it
I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.. at least until all the inspections are done, and we have gotten every one's financing approved.. I can't help but daydream about what I'm going to do with the place.. how I'll decorate it.. It could be so nice.. It will be so nice! Eventually. So wish us luck, as we hopefully open a new chapter in our lives.. with a new house!

Medium..

I'm skeptical at best when it comes to psychics, or mediums. I've never been introduced to one, and I certainly have never payed one for their services. On Monday, a friend and I went to visit another friend who lost his father a couple of weeks ago. When I got to my friends place, there was a man there working on my friends computer. We were introduced, and he remained intent on fixing my friends computer. Meanwhile, my friends and I were enjoying a cocktail, catching up, and helping my other friend make lunch.
About an hour and a half later, the guy working on the computer had fixed it and was about to head out. It was then, that he asked me about my house. He asked me what was going on with it.. were we selling it?? This is when I was informed that he was a medium. He then proceeded to talk to me for about 20 minutes about all sorts of shit. Shit he shouldn't have known about. It was creepy, and exciting at the same time. He told me that my house was going to sell, and that we would be in our new place within the next two months. He also told me that there was a woman who walked with me.. my grandmother. He talked about her last 2 years with us, and how she wasn't herself, and that her disease had gripped her mind. He told me that she wanted me to know, that she wasn't like that anymore. He talked about how sad she was that there were 4 people close to her that she wished would communicate. I took this as my mother who has not communicated with her 3 siblings in almost 20 years. At one point he told me that she was sitting next to me on the couch, and put my arm around her. I know the power of suggestion is strong, but really, I felt her. I could almost smell her. It brought tears to my eyes. I miss her everyday, and have been thinking about her so much lately. If there is anyone that I would want walking with me, it's her!
He spoke of things that meant nothing to me. And I told him, I had no idea who he was talking about. He only asked that I keep an open mind, and remember what he was telling me.
It was surreal. There were so many things that he talked about, that no one would know. Not even my friends that I was with that day. The friend I had gone up with, was also skeptical, until he started talking about his family.. and started talking about things that we had talked about on our ride up to our friends house. it was fucked up!
Later that night, as I was trying to get my mind to shut down, I remembered something he had told me. He started talking about a woman named Jean, or Jeannie.. and how she had passed on, and she was someones mother. He also mentioned that she was a nurse.. I had no idea who he was talking about, nothing rang a bell.. until later. I remembered my brother in law. His mom was Jeannie, she was a nurse, and she had passed on many years ago. It gave me chills, and if it wasn't 10 o'clock when I remembered that, I would have called my sister and told her.
I am now a firm believer in this guy.. really, I am. I was sad that he had to leave, and couldn't have lunch with us. My friend informed me later that I had just gotten about 200 bucks worth of free readings.. nice!
Oh, and btw, the next day (yesterday) my house went under contract! I'm just sayin....

Christmas is only one week away!! son of a bitch..

Losing power for almost 3 days, was really nothing.. nothing to a lot of people that just got their power back today. 7 days after the storm.
My minimal 3 days, threw me for a loop. It has gotten me all out of sync with my Christmas shopping. I am not psyched about that! I went out tonight and got a BUNCH of crap. Stocking stuffers, and whatnot. I still have a ton of shit left to buy.. and not a ton of time to do it in..
I have no stamps.. so I have not put my adorabley doctored Christmas picture in the mail. (And when I say "doctored", I mean the whole "red eye" fix.. you'll notice when you get the card!) If I don't have your mailing address, and you would like one.. let me know.. somehow I ended up with extra cards, and stamps! Over planning.. I'm really good at that!
Anyway, I have a living room littered in unfinished wrapping, so I must attend.. hope everyone is getting their shopping done!!

Things that Suck When You Have No Electricity for 3 Days..

-having 4 children
-electricity with drawls, which also include gameboy, computer and t.v. with drawls
-having 4 kids.. did I mention that already??
-One of your only sources of light happens to be the headlamp your dorky husband wears. Turns out her doesn't like to share it. And loves to make shadows on the wall that scare the bee-jesus out of your already scaredy cat kids.
-peeing. In an already pissed in toilet, times 15..
-telling your husband that you have to crap, and that you're going to do so in a plastic bag. Being told that you're either going to dig a hole in the backyard, or drive 10 minutes to his parents, with the wake of a turtle head emerging, and suck it up.. I sucked it up.
-telling your kids over and over that this was what it was like in the olden days... seriously, they didn't want to hear it the first time.
-having no phone.. but being very grateful to your older sister who lends you an extra cell phone.. Thank you, thank you!!
-pretending that we're camping.. cooking meals on our wood stove loses it's impact and appeal when we're locked up inside our house and haven't spent the entire day swimming in a lake.
-learning that all neighboring towns have their power back. Really, we're happy for you, but wtf??
-realizing that we are so unprepared for an event like this. No cell phone. No ample stock of canned goods. No D batteries.

We are lucky that I spent my previous life collecting pretty scented candles.. which by the way gave me the worst sensory headache..

Our power came back on at 7:30 this morning. When I woke up to another day of a dark house, I wanted to cry.. My husband left to get us breakfast at dunkin donuts, and about 5 minutes after he left, the lights triumphantly came back on. I have never seen my kids so excited.. We must have cheered and clapped for a good 5 minutes. It was wonderful. We have all been left in awe of something that we take for granted everyday. How one such seemingly small thing, like electricity, rules our lives. Thank god for the wood stove, and thank god for remembering the words to many a Christmas carol.. I'm so thankful to have power again, and even more thankful that we all shit at my in laws!! ;)

Nicknames..

My 3 year old niece has given us all nicknames today.
I am tissue paper
She is silly girl
Twin A is kooky head
Twin B is ahhhhhhhhhhh
and my husband is Happy No Hair (since he shaved his head last night..)
She's got quite the imagination!!

The latest on the house..

We were supposed to have an open house this past Sunday, but last Wednesday I emailed my realtor and asked if we could cancel. It had been a crazy week, and I just didn't see myself being able to get the house in shape to hold an open house, which honestly, I didn't think anyone would show up for. My realtor was great and made a few calls and got everything cancelled.
She then called me on Thursday and told me that someone wanted to see the house on Saturday, and she wanted to know if I could pull it off. I told her that I could.. and I did. I spent Thursday and Friday pretty much cleaning non stop (I did take a break on Friday and had ctale and another friend over for a play date) and they were gracious enough to pick up all the toys that the 4 girls had played with.
Saturday morning was a nightmare, more so for my husband who had to listen to me boss him around and my poor kids who I threatened within an inch of their life to please not drop any crumbs on our new brown carpet (not the best color choice with all these kids!)
We took off for the afternoon, did a little shopping and had some lunch, and returned to a message from our realtor saying that the woman who had come to see our house, loved it. She didn't want to get our hopes up, as we've had a few showings like that, but nevertheless that was the case.
I got an email from her later saying that the girl who came by to look at the house wanted her mother to see it. Her mom lives in Florida, and wasn't coming here until the 18th. However, apparently, she moved her flight to the 13th, and had requested a second showing. The first second showing.
Sunday afternoon, I got a call from my realtor, who had an offer in her hands. It was a sucky offer, so we counter offered. That was on Sunday. It's now Wednesday, and they have yet to respond. It's making me mental. They still want to see the house again on Saturday, so maybe then they'll make up their minds.. the waiting is killing me though.
We went back to the house we want last night, and brought my mom. She loved it, and I guess spent last night decorating it for us in her head (gee, I don't know where I get that from!) anyway, I'm hoping for an answer by Sunday at the latest.. frickin sucks!

Autumn's Purpose

Autumn does it every year.
Gold leaves whistle down from the turquoise sky.
Bronze leaves float down, looking like golden brown.
No one could ever count them all!
Leafless trees wait till they get more magnificent leaves.
Autumn has a gigantic job, and a holiday awaits.



This is a poem my 8 year old wrote. I was pretty impressed, as I usually am with this child. Thought I would share.. not bad for 8 huh??? Here's one more, then I promise I'm done!


Autumn means change.
My neighbor's dog circles around a colorful oak tree.
Owls whistle at a hunters' moon.
Everybody yells when they jump into a leaf pile.
Winter is coming!

He's Back....

Our Elf on the Shelf has returned. The boys have been talking about him for days. He returns every December 1st, and they then spend each morning until Christmas looking for where he has hidden. During the night, he goes back to Santa and reports on how they've been.
It wasn't until they were in bed, that we both remembered that we had to find Snowy, our beloved Elf. I had told the boys before hand that he might not make the trip tonight due to inclement weather.. luckily, I found him in the attic and he is now perched up on the hutch, waiting to be found.
It will be a race for the boys to find him, and usually someone ends up crying. But all we have to do is remind them of why Snowy is here.. Santa hates a cry baby! So, let the insanity begin!

Turkey Day.. and an email from an old friend..

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was fun, and not one of my kids ran away screaming from my sister's brother in law (who was burned badly from a car accident a few years ago) In fact, they were all really good, and the only thing they were frightened of was the 2 dogs. The two big mean, labs! But my sister kindly gated them up in a room and my kids only had to hear the poor pups whine and not have to be in the same room with them. For that I was truly grateful, it would have been quite uncomfortable for me to have to hold all four of them in my lap as those dogs roamed freely.
Yesterday my husband woke up wanting a brand new t.v. We now have a brand new t.v. Despite my opposition, which literally meant nothing, as he usually gets what he wants. It's so backwards here. I wish just for a while he would pretend to be the man in the family, and let his wife get her way once or twice! I'm just saying.. couldn't he "raymond" it up a bit, and let me be"deborah" for a while??
Anyway, in other far more interesting and exciting news to me, I got an email from an old friend this morning. Someone I had worked with over a decade ago. I sort of feel like I had grown up with her. She was the kindest, sweetest and most giving person I had known. She and her husband came to my wedding, something that always meant so much to me.. For years I had tried to keep in touch with her. I would send her a card on Christmas, and try calling her. The last time I tried, which was quite a while ago, her number had been disconnected. I thought something terrible had happened to her. I figured it must have. But today when I checked my junk mail (just cause I always do) there was a note with a name I recognized. I was so happy. She was finally reconnecting with me! yea!!
Sadly I found out that her husband had passed away, suddenly, this past February. I couldn't believe that. Like I had mentioned before, they had been at my wedding. There are few details that I remember about that crazy day. But one, one detail I remember vividly, was her husband, Bill. Bringing me a beer during the long and very hot, exhausting "photo shoot" every bride has to endure. This was the first and only time I had met Bill, but I had heard enough about him, that I truly felt I knew him. This kind and generous act, which might seem silly to some, cemented the fact that I liked him! He was the mirror image of my good friend. I'm sad that he is gone. But I'm so glad that she has reappeared in my life. If only for today, and our few emails back and forth. I just hope that she won't disappear, and that if anything I can be the friend to her now, that she was to me back then, when I was growing up....

More Speech..

My youngest daughter had her first speech therapy appointment on Friday. This was the first time we had met this woman. Suzanne.. she was very nice, and somewhat awkwardly pointed out that she was not in fact a speech therapist, but in fact an early childhood educator. Something I could really care less about.. she was educated, in my home, and playing with my kids, for free. Seriously, credentials weren't that important.
Anyway, the appointment was a tad hectic, as she didn't come by until 4:15, so she had the pleasure of all the kids being in attendance. My oldest son did just what I asked, which was to be on his best behavior, and just let the woman have her session with his sister. My other daughter was right in the middle of it, which I expected. And then my 5 year old.. my seasoned speech therapy client, couldn't resist putting it into super spaz mode.. in his very loud, very abrupt way. Suzanne quickly assured me this was ok, what else is she going to say?? There was one point though, when he started throwing a ball around, when I flashed him a "cut the shit" glare, to which he promptly stuck out his little tongue at me. Ugh. shithead. His dad had run to the drug store and as soon as he got back, and saw the glaring looks I was shooting him, he quickly took care of the 5 year old, and we moved on with her speech.
Suzanne thinks my daughter is well on her way to having normal speech, even though she's not a pathologist (her words, not mine) Her reassurance was good to hear.
My 5 year old was only tamed momentarily by his father who was distracted by phone calls from his band mates. He started playing a game with his sister, rolling the ball back and forth. It got her right in the groin, to which he laughed and said "oh, it hit her wiener, oh, I mean her vagina" Yes, he's speaking so clearly these days! We're so proud!

My Day..

This morning started out as any typical morning for me. Getting up.. feeding the kids, making lunches, dressing the kids, seeing them off, and so on.
In preparation for my yearly physical, I packed up my girls and my niece and headed to the hospital to have blood drawn to check my thyroid. Unfortunately, the girls could not withstand the 45 minute wait (and counting) and we had to leave. No blood drawn. Total bust.
We all returned home later, and I had received a message from my youngest sons kindergarten teacher, saying that I had forgotten to pack his lunch. Great. After searching high and low, and really having no memory of what I did with his lunch box, I called the school office and told them that I must have put it in his big brother's knapsack, and could they please take a look. Moments later, they called me back and said it was not there. Fabulous! So, I have to make another lunch, pack up the girls (again) and head off to the school and drop of the poor schmucks lunch.
The day progresses, and I'm exhausted (as usual) and it's time for my youngest son to get off the bus. I am totally geared up for the pissed off little boy that is going to get off the bus. I know he's going to be ripped that I forgot to put his lunch in his backpack.
Imagine my surprise, when he skips off the bus, happy as a clam.. so I asked him "gee buddy, what happened to your lunch??" "Oh," he replies "It was under Skylars jacket" REALLY??
And so goes my day.. I'm hoping tomorrow, whilst my feet are up in the stirrups, that I haven't forgotten any one's lunch, and that I have at least remembered to have shaved in the morning...

And they say he's got speech issues!!!

So today was the parent/teacher conference for my 5 year old. I had only met his teacher once at the open house, and she seemed very nice. In fact she is still very nice. However, I had never talked to her one on on before, and I must admit it was difficult, to say the least.
First let me say she said wonderful things about my son, and that he was very well behaved, very quiet, but was slowly coming out of his shell. He's also doing great in his overall studies, and is well liked by his classmates.
The difficult part of talking to her, was that while I was talking, while I was saying anything, quietly, under her breath, she was finishing my sentences. I have never talked to anyone who did that before. The first time she did it, I stopped dead in the middle of a sentence because I thought she was interrupting me. It only took me a second to realize that she was actually trying to talk along with me, and be ahead of what I was saying. It almost seemed like a nervous habit. It was hard to have any eye contact with her, and concentrating on what I was saying was almost impossible. I'm afraid that I may have looked like a bigger idiot than she did! It was very weird. Regardless, she was very nice, and I think she's doing a great job, even with all that weird talking going on.. I just hope that she doesn't do that with the kids!

giving multi tasking new meaning..

I can multitask as good as the next mom, however, I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle both my girls this Friday at my doctors with both legs up in the stirrups, getting my pap. hmmm...

Pain in the A-Word..

Out of sheer frustration yesterday, I asked my older son why his little brother was being such a pain. And my older son said "don't you mean a pain in the a-word?"
Yea, that's what I meant.

This Apple Fell From a Different Tree...

I had a parent teacher conference with my 8 year olds teacher this week. Without actually saying it, she pretty much said my son is a genius. She showed me some of his work, and some of the testing they've done on all the students, and he scored well above his grade level. Highest in his class actually.
I graduated high school, as did my husband. I went to college for 2 years and learned how to funnel beer with the best of them. My husband graduated from college on the 5 year plan, and later became a teacher. Genius is not something we breed in these parts. But apparently, for some unknown reason, we have spawned a child that could quite possibly exceed anything his parents have ever accomplished. Every parents dream really! I just hope that he realizes his potential. And don't worry.. I plan on being there to constantly remind him! Someone has to take care of our old asses someday!!!

His Winter Jacket..

Every morning, when my five year old gets on the bus, he does the same exact thing. He sits directly behind the bus driver (in what my older son calls the little kids seat) and waves to me 5 or 6 times, with the most adorable shy smile.
This morning, all he did was glare at me. Not one wave, not one shy smile, just a pissed off glare. I couldn't believe it. There was of course reason I suppose in his five year old mind to blow his mother off, but really, I was still shocked.
The reason why he wouldn't wave to me, you wonder? Well, please don't report me to social services, or make a call to child and family services, but this morning, for the first time this fall, I made him wear a winter jacket. I know..I know. The horror! Instead of letting him wear his flimsy transformer "windbreaker" (which I despise btw) I made him wear his brother's old North Face fleece jacket! One that he barely wore because it never fit him quite right. I tried explaining to him that everyone is wearing winter jackets now, and that his teacher is going to think I'm nuts if I let him wear his other jacket to school. Of course reasoning with him is something neither one of us does well. He basically cried about how he didn't like his coat until the bus came. Then to punish me, not one wave. That's ok. He'll be home before I know it (with his jacket stuffed into his back pack) and most likely will feel badly for not waving to his mother.

say what?

My girls had their speech evaluation today. One of them qualifies for services, and the other one doesn't. The silver lining: the other one is going to be right in the middle of all the sessions getting her free and not necessary speech therapy! yea for twins!

Flattery will get you everywhere.. or at least on my blog roll!

I have always been a low maintenance kind of girl. A simple compliment will usually get you whatever your heart desires (just ask my husband! Or my 4 kids!)
So, when I got an email from the author of a new blog called "Hotel New Hampshire", asking if I would exchange links to our blogs, because he is a "Fan" of "4 Kids.." I just about shit, and said "of course I'll link you!!" So here it is.. check it out.. looks like he's going to have some great work on NH and all the great places here in our fine little state!

missing in action..

My sister told me today that I needed to update my blog.. I told her that I really didn't have much to say..nothing really to update.. of course that's not all true. I guess in the past week since I last wrote, lots has happened.. We had our first showing in a month. The woman "loved it" but loved something else more and made an offer on it. Secretly I'm hoping it falls through. The house we had put an offer on a couple of weeks ago was sold to someone else. Making that the last house in our town that we can afford. Who knows what else will pop up.
I've been trying to prepare my children for Thanksgiving this year. And you wonder, what could they possibly need preparation for?? Well, it that would be my sister's brother in law who will be joining us this year. I haven't seen him in years, but about 4 years ago, he was in a horrible car accident and burned most of his body..and his face. I can't begin to imagine how my kids are going to react to him. Hopefully they won't stare too long, and hopefully he's prepared himself as well. I'm sure he's used to little kids and their filter less mouths. My 5 year old has told me that he will just stay home with his dad. Too bad for him, his dad will be joining us as well.
Tomorrow my girls are having a speech evaluation done here at the house. Yes, all of my children have had some sort of speech issue. It's not like they don't talk, jesus, I can't get them to shutup. The girls though have their own little twin language, which is the cutest thing ever, but it's completely unintelligible, and could really hinder their ability to communicate the rest of us that aren't privy to their little gibberish club. If they do qualify, then they will provide the service here, free of charge. Thank goodness.. the good thing too is that I'll know tomorrow before they leave if they qualify.
I rented Sex and the City Friday night, and just finished watching it tonight. It was good. Not good enough that I would have gone out and bought a new shirt to see it (much like my gay friend did..) But I suppose he just wanted an excuse to buy a new shirt.. Anyway, everyone is in bed, including my husband.. so I'm going to head there as well.. it's been a long weekend, with gray skies, and too much rain.. which btw has been falling on our very dry uncovered wood. nice. I guess we're just "washing" it..ridding it of it's bad karma!

Screwed by Wood.. and not in a good way!

I found a guy on facebook that I went to high school with. He was advertising 2 cords of wood for $395, delivered. I got in touch with him, and told him that I wanted his wood! That is after all, a great deal. He came today with a friend, and delivered the first cord. I gave him a check, made out to his friend, and they went on their way to get the other cord. About an hour later, I got a call from him saying he thought there was a miscommunication, and that it was actually $395 for one cord. Um, yea, I guess there was a MAJOR miscommunication. I had specifically asked him over the phone if the price was for both cords, to which he replied yes. When I told him that over the phone today, he denied that, and said that he had told me it was only for one. ugh.
I told him that I didn't want the other cord, as I could not afford almost 800 bucks for two cords of wood. I paid $250 last year for a cord, and I know the prices have gone up, but really? I mean we had a conversation about it, and his ad said "2 cords, $395, delivered"
I had to make that call to my husband of course, the one where it inevitably becomes my fault, even though clearly it was not. I went back to this guy's facebook page to see the ad he had put up, but mysteriously, it had been deleted. what a douche!
I did make a couple of calls and found some wood for $350 a cord, so his price wasn't that far off. I had no idea the prices had gone up so much. But the point is, this guy totally lied to me, and I bought it. frick.

Daddy and his girls..

My girls love their daddy. Not having a very close relationship with my dad makes me appreciate my husband and the bond he has with his daughters.. They simply adore him, and the feeling is clearly mutual. Cuties..

The Kiddo's..

Thought it was time for a twin pic.. The boys are almost as big as the girls..

My Week..

Oh what a crazy fun filled week I've had.. let's see.. I'm feeling better (thank you) The cold has settled nicely in my chest, so I'm only wheezing, but not blowing my nose nearly as much. We got turned down by the owners of the house we want, I can't say as I blame them, I would never accept an offer with a contingency in this market, but I had fun decorating my new house in my head.. it's still on the market, so the chance is still there that one day we can buy it (although the chance is slim to none, it's a chance nonetheless!) Yesterday I got so wrapped up in facebook, that I totally missed getting my oldest son off the bus, something that has NEVER happened to me, and hopefully never will. I will add though (as a lame attempt to defend myself) the bus was a good 5-7 minutes early.. I'm just sayin.. Anyway, I expected to see a tearful distraught boy get off the bus when I met it at his school, but he was actually fine. Thank god. I don't think I've ever gotten out of my house as quickly as I did yesterday, with 3 of my 4 kids in tow. I actually beat the bus back to school! Yeah me.. ok, so anyway, today I went to Heidi's for a play date, with Lnotes (Ctale was too snot ridden to join us). It was so much fun, and really, the mellowest play date I've ever been to. The 4 girls there, ranging from 16 months to 2 1/2 all played so well together.. although they really just played around each other, and I don't know how Heidi has managed to raise such a sweet girl (not that she isn't capable) But how many 2 1/2 year olds do you know that don't freak out when someone else is playing with all their toys?? Really. I've never witnessed that before. She is an angel! And I'm sure Heidi is thinking "Sure, but you should have seen her after you left!" and normally I would believe that sure, she's probably the devil with her cute little doggie shirt, and adorable blond hair, but I don't buy it! She's precious!
Anyway, I'm off to put my girls to bed, and enjoy a night alone (the hubbers is practicing tonight..) then tomorrow we're going to finish the soccer season (finally) and hopefully have a nice relaxing afternoon, with a nap for me! :)

I'm sick. I have been for the last couple of days. Nothing that requires me to take time off from my work, or that gets my husband to stay home and help me. Although I'm pretty sure that being hospitalized would be the only way that would ever happen.
Today my oldest son is home. He got a headache last night, and still has it. No one else is sick, which quite frankly shocks me. I still plan on going to the play date on Friay that was rescheduled from last Friday at Heidi's.. as long as I can find someone to get my youngest son off the bus, and that we remain relatively healthy the rest of the week.
In other news, it has officially been one week since we put our offer in on the house we want. And... we have heard NOTHING! The nerve.. but I'm pretty over it.. I've had a week to get all pissed, and it pretty much does nothing for me.
And lastly, my beautiful nephews are 1 today!! I can't believe that a year has passed already.. Currently, as I type, I have one crawling over my legs, and the other one emptying our movie drawer.. They have been so easy to take care of (in comparison to my own twins) And I look forward to another year getting to watch them grow! Happy Birthday Boys! them grow! Happy Birthday Boys!

More on the birthday..

Last night, my sisters and I took my mom out to dinner at the Holy Grail in Epping. It was pretty good, despite the hour wait.. we got a waitress that my twin and I knew from our days in Newmarket. The owner used to work with my husband, teaching social studies. And his wife, who was the hostess, was an o.b. nurse that helped deliver 3 out of my 4 children, and all of my sister's kids.. It was like being at home really, except that we were in different positions!
The best part was giving my mom her birthday cards. I gave her mine first.. just a card, something I had picked up 10 minutes prior to our get together.. A very nice, sweet card about what a great mom she is, and how much I loved her.. yada yada.. this was followed by my twin sister giving her the card she had gotten, earlier in the day, at a different store. It was the same exact card. There are thousands of cards out there. Thousands. Yet we picked the same exact one. It has to be more than a twin thing.. pretty funny if you ask me!

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

We celebrated my mom's 60th birthday today.. I made her a cake.. here it is.

I ended up having to pick up my son yesterday at school, and bring him to the dentist to have his teeth checked. The nurse thought he may have chipped them, but he didn't. And the cut on his chin was only a scratch, and luckily the little boy who tripped over him, didn't fall on him, because this "little" boy is a moose! And now I'm home with my girls, my niece and my nephew, and it would appear that one of my girls is a bit under the weather, all this the day before we are supposed to go visit Heidi for a play date.. I'm hoping that we can still make it! I'll keep you posted Heidi!
Last night we put an offer in on the house we want (not that we want it as bad as the house with the elevator.. but we want it nonetheless. We should hopefully hear later today if it's accepted. I have little hope that we'll actually move, especially since we've had no interest in our place since we lowered the price. When will I learn?? At least my house is clean! ugh, I'm so tired of saying, and hearing that!
Ok, gotta go.. 2 sets of twins are calling!!

It's shaping up to be a great week!

So I now know why I'm thoroughly exhausted, despite being the parent to four children. I had my blood drawn to check my thyroid, and my levels are even higher than they were back in June when my doctor increased my meds. So, they are increasing them again, and I'll have it checked again in 6 weeks. Kind of sucks that I have to wait 6 weeks, but what can I do. At least I know it's not just me being lazy.. there's actually a medical issue.. ugh.. great.
Tonight my realtor is coming over and we are going to make an offer on a house. We lowered the price of our house, and are hoping the owners of the vacant house we want will accept our contingency offer. We'll see. Just one more thing to keep me awake at night, despite how exhausted I am. This is really turning out to be a lovely post! Really uplifting! To top it off, the nurse at my sons school just called and apparently he took a digger and scratched up his chin, and may have loosened some of his lower teeth (the grown up ones!) When she first said my son had fallen, I thought for sure it was my youngest one (he's the klutz in the family and frequent flyer at the ER) But no, it was my sensitive 8 year old, who fought back the tears, and surprisingly didn't ask to go home. The nurse is going to call me back in a bit, she's going to recheck his teeth in hopes that the bleeding will have subsided. jeez..

blech..

My realtor called me this morning, and the cool house with the elevator that I really really wanted, closed yesterday..and it closed for less than we would have offered.
That's ok though. I'm not going to cry about it (not anymore anyway) I've decided that we'll be here forever, in our cozy little home.. with one shower, and 3 really small bedrooms. This did prompt me to go on line and buy a subscription for 3 months worth of lottery tickets, as this is the only way we're going to be able to afford something in this ridiculously expensive town.
Well, I'm off to take care of all the kids..something that has been exhausting me, mentally and physically lately. The change in seasons always bums me out, and it's no different this year. I find the cool crisp weather just annoying. I'm not even enjoying my fall clothes, and I usually do. Of course they are the same fall clothes that I've been putting on for years now. Time for a new wardrobe! Unlikely though as every cent we get that doesn't go towards bills or the kids, is going into savings so that maybe one day, if we get an offer on our house, we'll look good for the bank. No one cares if I look good for the kids I watch! ugh..

Soccer

I am up to my eyeballs in soccer. Or so it feels. My youngest son is still kicking ass on the kindergarten team, and scores most of their goals. It's a riot to watch, and this has been so good for his self esteem. The only drawback is that his games are on Saturday mornings at 8. It's early, and cold! The girls have fun, but the oldest one insisted last weekend that she wasn't going to wear her shoes, her jacket, or her shirt. So I had one half naked 2 year old on my hands, and a bunch of parents looking my way, wondering what the hell I was thinking. I was merely doing them a favor by not making her put her clothes back on until she was ready, to avoid an ugly scene on the sidelines. It didn't take her long to decide that being half dressed wasn't such a great idea.
Later that morning it was my 8 year olds turn to play. Being in the third grade changes things slightly. They practice once a week, and instead of playing other teams from his school, they play other schools. They are still only 8 years old, so the accuracy in which they play is still up and coming. In my opinion, it's still supposed to be fun, and not so competitive. Unfortunately, my son's coach doesn't see it the same way.. She is clearly there to win, even if it means that she's only going to play the "better" players. And it also means that when the goalie lets 6 balls by him, she's going to throw her arms up in frustration and yell "what's going on??" to him.
Having said that.. my little boy is not one of the more skilled players. He is clearly there for the fun of it, which sadly is lacking. When he gets on the field he plays "around" the other players. He never once touches the ball, and when he runs, he gets his left arm swinging like a windmill. It's pretty amusing to watch.
My son was on the field for less than 10 minutes of the entire 40 minute game. Most of the other players were on for at least half, and there were some who played the whole game. I understand that at an older level, you wouldn't put in the "windmill kid" for a lot of playing time. But these kids are 8 years old. They should all play an equal amount of time. This is the age where we want to encourage them to love the sport. To see where they can go within their own limits. And to give them time to learn and practice their skills.
I'm not sure if my son will want to play next year. Thankfully he has no clue that he's being benched. He just has fun, playing with his teammates on the sideline, having a munchkin or two.
My husband emailed his coach later that day, and asked her what her philosophy on coaching was. He never heard back from her. He coaches middle school kids, and tries to give everyone an equal amount of time on the field, as much as he can anyway.
It's disappointing that my son got stuck with this crappy coach.. can I just add (on a more judgmental note) This woman has got the mullet from hell, and wears pink warm up pants! Or shorts, with tube socks pulled up to her knees! A total fashion disaster.. there, now I feel better!

Curse You!!

This is what I decided should be said after someone has just sneezed all over your kid! Bless You is just too nice.. why bless someone when they have probably just gotten your kid sick, and therefore your entire family. So curse you snot nosed little boy. Curse you..

Hi, I'm Buzz Kill, nice to meet you..

I feel like I have somewhat deserted this blog. I don't really have time these days to sit down and type away. If I'm not cleaning the house, to keep it ready for a showing (which we haven't had in over a week) Then I'm tending to my kids, two of which were sick all weekend. And of course it was the youngest two, the babies.. sick with fevers and needing only to sit in my lap and pick at my hands, like they always do. This left little time for any cleaning, or blogging or just general living.
They are feeling better though, the fevers have gone, but they still need to sit in my lap, and pick at my hands, just to make sure I'm still there.. at least until the memory of their horrible sickness has disappeared.
Last week, I helped my nephew move a few things to his new apartment. We had to go to UNH where he had stored his bed and a few boxes at a friends house. It was still morning when we got there, so I was pretty surprised (for like a second) at the odor that greeted us as we walked in.. my old friend Mary Jane.. The two kids sitting on MY former futon (I had given it to my nephew, who in turn gave it to these stoners) must have pretty much shit their pants. In walks my nephew, followed by me. Mother of 4.. talk about a buzz kill.. I heard one of the kids mumble "Oh shit" and he quickly exited the room. I gotta say, I didn't care that they were in the middle of a wake and bake. Been there, done that. What was most disturbing, was that I was the cause of their buzz kill. I was the mom walking in on the kids getting high! Gone are the days when I would have sat down on that futon and waited for a turn.. When did I get so old??

"What the hell is that??"

This is a direct quote from my 8 year old about a bug he saw at the playground the other day. I know exactly where he gets this from (yes, his mother) But here's where I'm ok with the reaction. A couple of years ago, if he had seen this weird bug that we were all checking out, instead of this knee jerk response, he would have been screaming, and running for the car. Instead, he swore, and nervously awaited our response. That's progress people!

Dressing Yourself, at age 8...

Seriously, I would have thought that at 8 years old, getting dressed would be a snap. If I had let him, my 8 year old would have gone to school like this. With his shirt on backwards (a polo shirt no less!) And not have had a clue.. Is it just boys?? Or is it just my boy??

The other C word..

Nothing puts things into perspective like receiving a phone call from a friend, telling you that he has lung cancer. That pretty much makes the selling of my house way unimportant. It also gives you the chills, and makes you want to throw up.
This friend was my first boyfriend. A guy that at one point in my life, I loved. He's now married, with 2 kids who attend the same school as my kids. In fact, his daughter is in my 5 year old's kindergarten class.
Talking to him this morning, for almost an hour about his diagnosis was heart wrenching. They don't know for sure if it's malignant, or exactly what his prognosis is. He had a biopsy yesterday, but the moron doing it couldn't find the golf ball sized tumor. He feels a bit in the dark about the whole thing at this point, and has to wait until Monday to meet with his doctor.
Amazingly, he's got a great attitude, and is determined to live to be 90. He smoked for a bit, but only socially, and that was about 8 years ago. He has the sweetest boy who at 2 was diagnosed with autism. He told me his biggest fear was not being there to help his wife with him, and of course not to see his kids grow up. I can't imagine what that is like, or how on earth he is even able to talk about it.
I just hope that whatever they determine is in his lung, is benign, and that he'll be ok. 38 is too young to die.

9/22

It would appear that our first showing was a bust. Some guy in a truck, looking for a place to put his king size bed. Yea, that's not going to really work in our 10x12 "master suite". His fiance wasn't with him though, and he loved the rest of the place, so we'll see if they might show up at the open house.
It was no easy task keeping my house spotless with my 2 girls running around. And then my poor 5 year old who got off the bus about 3o minutes before the showing, famished (as usual) I gave him pretzels and all but threatened him within an inch of his life not to get crumbs anywhere.. of course the entire bag of pretzels ended up on the floor, and he stood there awaiting his lashing.. There was none. I just picked them up, and decided it was time to leave.
Anyway, after hanging at my in laws for a bit, I got a call from our realtor with the "so-so" news about the showing. Then 2 hours later, she called back and said we had another showing on Saturday. This is more action than we had before, so it's all good.
We're heading back to the house with the elevator on Sunday with our brother in law, who is a carpenter, to check out the "bones" of the house. I know it needs carpet, and paint, but we have a storeroom of paint in our basement, and carpet isn't that expensive.. who knows what will come of any of this..
We have an alarm clock that we bought at the dollar tree for our camper. Somehow it ended up in our kitchen. It's the most annoying clock ever. For some reason the alarm goes off at 9:22 every morning. I can't figure out how to change it, so I just press a button or two every morning, and it stops. A few weeks ago, I decided that 9:22 wasn't just a number, but a date as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that on Monday, September 22nd, something really good happens. My husband reminded me that it could be something bad.. Of course he would remind me of that. He is the voice of reason after all. But these past couple of weeks, with all the work I've been doing around here, I have been inspired by this alarm clock, and that date.. I might be nuts, but I might be right!

First Showing..

I got a call from my realtor today that we have our first showing tomorrow. Yea. Except that of course I have a ton of shit to do to get ready for it, and it's at 2:15, which is right in the middle of nap time for the girls, something I have a hard time giving up, but at least it's Friday, and they'll be in bed nice and early!
My husband is totally unavailable to help me out in any way because of work and then coaching after work, and of course his band, and yada yada..so it's all up to me. Thank god I am amazingly organized and already in pretty good shape. I was just thinking moments ago, about all that I've done in preparation for tomorrow.. here's a summary
-I painted our sun room (with the help of my sister)
-I painted our kitchen cabinets-solo
-I painted our downstairs bathroom, with some assistance from my nephews (sorry about the paint stains on their shirt!) hah!
-I totally cleaned out the basement and have staged it to be a family room/den, whatever.. which involved moving about 15 bins of storage to our attic, and lots and lots of cob web removal! I was one sweaty pig that day!
-I painted the front deck, including the floor
-I went through every closet, cabinet and drawer, organizing.. and tossing.
-I stained, painted and layed a new floor in the stairway to the basement (it looks really good, I might be most proud of this)
-I hung blinds
-I have washed almost every carpet in our house, much thanks to my mother in law and her bissell steam cleaner.
-Oh, and I've also kept up on the laundry, cooked dinner, cleaned dishes, done homework, given baths, changed diapers, read stories, and babysat for 3 other kids.. I have to mention my mom was invaluable, and helped me a lot with the childcare.. seriously, I couldn't have done any of this without her help.. But I am quite proud of myself, and if these jackasses don't make an offer by Monday, then I'm going to open a newly purchased can of paint, and inhale away..

Post #900..

900 posts..damn. And what have I said?? I've complained a lot about my 5 year old, my husband and life in general. We've had our house on the market almost 3 times (tomorrow will make it our last try..sure..) I've deleted stuff..been to one blog and brew (which btw we are so far overdue for another one.) I've joined facebook, had two more babies, and gotten many more gray hairs.. I've been reacquainted with an estranged family member (which I've never blogged about) I've seen two children off to school.. I've welcomed 3 new children to our family, actually4, including my niece. I've seen my nephew, who is like a son to me, graduate high school, fail out of college and move back and forth from home to apartments.
I've been to funerals.. one of a young man who died far too young, and my best friends father, who was like a dad to all of us.. I've posted lots about poop. I've met some bloggers who have inspired me with their wit and their commonality, something we all share. I've discovered that just because you think you know someone, doesn't mean that they're always going to be your friend.. I've seen struggles, and joys and love.. I've had regrets over the last 3 years, and 900 posts. Not getting up to speak at my best friends fathers funeral being on the top of that list. I learned that fear grips me like nothing else. I've regretted not speaking up to my oldest sons kindergarten teacher (a.k.a the whore). I've regretted lots. But I don't regret the way my life is. How I've wavered through tough times, or how we have all come out of it. I survived the birth, and first year of twins! I think I can survive anything! At least I hope I can!

This is the kid..

My 5 year old had his first soccer game today. He woke up crying that he didn't want to go, that he was scared. I told him that he was going to see a bunch of kids he knew, and that he would have tons of fun.
My husband left with him, to get him there for 8 a.m. and I met them there with the rest of the kids only moments later. He was already on the field, having a great time.
Soccer at the kindergarten level is pretty entertaining to watch. The kids are basically just running all over the field, more or less chasing each other. They started with a basic practice. My son, who kept to himself, ended up playing pass with one of the 2 coaches, because all the other kids had paired up. He didn't mind one bit. While all the other kids were passing the ball to the best of their 5 year old abilities, my son passed with accuracy, and stopped the ball with clear skill.
It wasn't long into the passing the ball drill, that I heard one coach, say to the other, "This is the kid" That's right. He's the KID!
After warming up, they split the team up into small groups, and scrimmaged against the green team. My son made one of the 2 goals, and the parents on the sidelines erupted into cheer. He was high fived when he got off the field, and more than one parent asked me what his name was. "Way to go!" He was on cloud nine! He spent the rest of the day telling me that he had scored a goal!
I remember being on the sideline when my 8 year old was playing on the kindergarten team, and seeing a kid who was clearly athletic, and clearly going to be a great player. Today that kid was my kid!

Moving Forward..

So my friend isn't ready to buy my house. He called me today and told me to move forward with our listing, and maybe in 6 months he'll buy it. I'm hoping to god that in 6 months our house will be sold, and we'll have moved on. I really hate the idea of the house being on the market. It's so much more work, to keep it clean, and the waiting game of showings, and inspections just sucks. A part of me totally does not want to go through that process again. Yet, as my children are getting bigger, the need is coming for us to have a larger place. Today was discouraging, but I emailed my agent, and I'm ready to get going.. I just hope it works this time! Although I won't be surprised if it doesn't!

The Clean Up..

I cleaned my basement yesterday. It was no small task, as there were about 15 bins that I had to move to our attic. I then found about 4 loads of laundry that my nephew had left from when he used to live here (about a year ago..) But we're getting the house ready to put on the market, and "staging" the basement was an important part of getting the house in tip top shape.
Later in the afternoon, I got a message from a friend of mine who said he might be interested in buying our place. He's going to call me today, and let me know.. I'm really hoping he wants it.. That would make my life so much easier.. we would save so much money not having to list it, and we could get into a new house (with an elevator!! haha..) in record time. Keep your fingers crossed!

The Gay Team..

My youngest son's soccer coach called tonight. They have their first game tomorrow. He's on the gray team, which is just going to be the color of his shirt, and an easier way to find his teammates amongst all the other kids. Unfortunately, with my son's speech delays, he has a hard time pronouncing his r's.
What a delight it was for my husband to come tonight and have his son run up to him declaring "Daddy, I'm on the gay team!!" We don't care what team our kids play on, we'll love them no matter what! Go Team!

Playdate..

So I am just winding down from having ctale, bbk, and everyday news over. It was a lot of fun. I had never met Heidi, and except for reading her blog on a regular basis, I had no idea what to expect. Of course she was great, and her daughter was one of the best behaved little girls I've met. My girls ever got along with her, and not once did they try to tackle her, or bite or even hit. I was pleasantly surprised!
We had a great lunch, with some wine, followed by some yummy cupcakes courtesy of Heidi. I lucked out and got my girls off for their nap, said bye to Heidi, and bbk, and then kicked ctales ass on the wii. She later watched my 5 year old kick my ass.
The highlight, besides the fore mentioned, was about 10 minutes after my 5 year old got off the bus, and was showing off his talents on the wii, when he whispered in my ear that he was peeing his pants. Then after our guests had gone, and I was cleaning up, I dropped a wine glass on my foot, and cut it. Nice. Don't worry though, I'm fine. And I'm pretty sure that the wine I drank had already numbed any pain I might have otherwise felt.
It was a good day. And I'm hoping that next Friday everyone will return, and hang with blogless and I.. For now, I'm trying not to be hungover (as it's only 4) and I have to work in about an hour.. Thank you girls for hanging out with me today.. I look forward to another playdate!

Dance Party!!

When these girls aren't trying to kick the shit out of each other, they actually have a lot of fun.. they loved our dance party the other day..

My sweet sweet boy.. who for the past five years has challenged me in ways I never knew were possible. The boy who has gnawed slowly at my soul with his whining.. the child who I cradled more than once in the emergency room as they stitched up his head and told him to be more careful.. I love him with all my heart, and today, on the day that I have been waiting for for half a decade.. I missed him..

I almost forgot..
My girls are finally sleeping in their own beds, all night! My husband has been sleeping on the couch since last November when they got sick and came into bed with me. Since then, I haven't been able to let them cry it out and get them to sleep all night without me. While the boys and I were away camping, he let them cry it out, and now I'm sharing my bed with my husband.. Yeah for him!

Nuts in the nut house..

There is so much more that I should be doing, instead of blogging.
Cleaning my house is priority number one.
We are on the hunt again. We found a house in our town, that we love, and can afford. We have a realtor coming by tomorrow to give us a CMA (comparable market analysis, or something of the sort). We're insane. But this house has an elevator! Yes, an elevator! Who wouldn't want one of those??
In other news, my 5 year old got on the bus this morning with his older brother, without me having to drag him on, or wipe away ANY tears! I was so proud! Of both of them.. my older son was talking non stop about all the things his little brother was going to do at school. He even sat in front with him (and the other little kids), but he'll only do that until his brother is comfortable enough to sit with someone else. I could see him looking back towards the middle of the bus where his best friend was.. I'm sure missing all the antics of the older kids. But he's taking care of his little brother, and trying to remember what it was like when he first started 3 years ago..
We're heading out to McDonald's or Burger King for dinner tonight.. part of why my little one didn't cry.. "If you're really good, and brave, we'll get happy meals tonight..." Nothing like being able to bribe your child with a heart attack in a box!

Two Kitty's

Here is the youngest daughter of blogless. She is such a cutie.. I promised her mom I would post this from our camping trip this weekend.. Here it is!