Sunday, April 29, 2012

My great grandmother

I had the strangest dream last night about my great grandmother. We called her Memere (pronounced mem-may). She was 100 when she died. I was only 19. She lived with my grandmother who was my most favorite person in the world. In fact, she still is. She's the one that the medium said walked with me, I totally believe she does and it gives me such a huge sense of peace. Anyway, we're not talking about my grammie, but her mother in law, Memere.
Memere was 80 when my sister and I were born. There's a picture of us with Memere when we were about 2. We were outside, something I never saw her do, or at least when I was old enough to remember it. My sister and I were in our diapers, and a small plastic pool was in the background. Memere was sitting in an aluminum lawn chair, and we're on either side, leaning in.  I am sure that she must have been propped up out there so that my grandfather (her son) could get a picture of the toe headed twins, with their great grandmother.
She used a walker, and walked from her chair in the living room, to the bathroom, back to her chair, which is where she sat, pretty much for 2 decades.  My sister and I spent A LOT of time at my gram's house. Memere had lived with my grandparents for most of her life, and my grandmother did everything for her. She had a commode (her "potty") that she used every night, and that my grandmother cleaned every morning. I hated that thing! My gram would come through the living room with it and we would all hold our breath. There are certain smells that are so bad and so foul, that they leave a memory with you. You can actually smell them again just by imagining it. That shit bucket is one of those smells.  
In my dream last night, I was at my grandmother's house. I dream a lot about that house, and particularly of my grandmother. But last night, for the first time in maybe ever, I dreamt about Memere. Her bedroom was off of the living room. It was tiny. However, it seemed appropriate for a woman who was so small and frail. She needed very little,  she had a twin bed, a bureau, a nightstand, pictures of Jesus everywhere, holy water, and of course, her shit bucket.  The house was not as it usually is. My grandmother wasn't there, and it was cold and gray. Completely dreary. I was alone at this point, walking through the house looking for someone, for anyone really, and it occurred to me that we had forgotten about Memere. I ran to her room and flew the door open. I found her there, looking like her brain had taken a nap,  and oddly, covered in her own feces. She told me that the potty hadn't been emptied in ages and that I had better take care of it. It was overflowing and there was shit everywhere..ironically, it didn't smell. The nice minister type priest dude (who apparently I was having an "emotional affair" with, but were going to take it up a notch and cuddle)   picks up the shit bucket, covered in pooh, and all I can think is  "dude, we are not cuddling now" and then Memere starts flinging pooh at us..
That's pretty much the bulk of the dream..with Memere appearing out of nowhere throwing huge pieces of shit at anyone, and everyone. She was apparently pretty pissed that we forgot her. Maybe she "walks" with me too..although, if she did, I'm pretty sure I could smell her a mile away!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


It's funny when someone falls right? I don't care if it's me, or you, or anyone, it's just fricking funny! My kids, and my husband as well, think I'm insane and sadistic for finding this amusing. When my mom fell a few years back when she was working at the homedepot, I begged her to try to get the surveillance video..she got caught up in some netting in the garden center and landed on her face. Literally. She broke her nose, her finger (which required pinning) and her collarbone. Yet still, I was dying to see it.
There are some falls though, that aren't funny. Like the one my daughter took down our basement stairs, while I was right behind her. Seeing her body contort, and flip down the stairs is not something any parent should have to witness. Thankfully she was ok, but I still have to live with that vision. Well, I gave the kids bus driver a similar vision this past winter. Our driveway was covered in black ice, and my daughter (the same one that did the flip down our stairs) refused to move because she was afraid to fall. I got to her just in time for the bus to round the corner, take two steps, and then proceed to loose our footing, and we both went down. Hard. My poor daughter, I totally landed on her, and she came up crying. She was ok, but for a moment there, I thought I may have broken her leg. Our bus driver, who I absolutely love, was horrified. He had of course seen the whole thing. He waited to make sure we were ok, my kids got on the bus, including the one I almost squished, and off they went. It was about an hour later, my mom came upstairs to ask me who was salting the driveway. It was my 75 year old bus driver. He had gone to Lowe's after dropping off the kids, and got a bag of salt for me. I will either have to sleep with this man, or at the very least get him a gift card. I'll probably just get him the gift card!
My mom is the master of falling. Last week she was at her mechanics, and while getting out of her car, she dropped her beloved chap stick. She reached under the seat (that she was still sitting in, with the door open) to reach her lip smacker, lost her balance and fell out of the car. Unfortunately for her, she got her legs stuck in the car, and couldn't get up. Thankfully there were witnesses, and someone helped her get up.
On the heels of this fall, she was sitting on her bed with her dog, removing a tick when she lost her balance, and began to fall. In an attempt to catch herself, she tried to grab onto her nightstand. The way she was positioned only made her left arm perform a complete sweep of the nightstand knocking down all it's contents, and then fall, even more awkwardly to the floor. You can laugh... I did, and someday,  in roughly 4-6 weeks, when her sternum fracture heals, she's going to find it just as amusing as the rest of us!  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Week That Tried To Kill Me...

My girls have been sick this week..well, at least one of them has been, and the other is faking a stomach ache so that she doesn't have to go to school without her sister. She is terrified of being there without her sister. I don't blame her, and I remember what it felt like when I had to go to school for the first time without my twin. My girl who really is sick, did the same thing when the faker was sick, except that on day number 2, and after I told her what it was like for me, she decided to try it. She claimed it was the best day after. No one confused her with anyone!
It doesn't work like that for the faker. She's one of my more sensitive children (they are all sensitive, but this one, and my youngest son take the cake for drama..) She couldn't bear the thought of her sister and I (her two most favorite people in the entire world) carrying on a day without her..what would we do? and what would she miss..she's not quite there yet. They are however, both going tomorrow, come hell, high water, or the second coming of Christ, they are going!
It has been a long few mother has been sick, but not her normal sick where the doctors scratch their heads and go "hmm? this is weird". She had double pneumonia. Unfortunately, in order to be diagnosed with that, you must first start with bronchitis for a couple of weeks, followed by days of antibiotics, and days of still feeling like shit. Then you must visit the clinic on the weekend, because you are SO sick and you can't figure out why. A chest xray confirms pneumonia, and you are sent home with more antibiotics (this time stronger ones) and inhalers. Then.... (there's a lot to this double pneumonia thing!) roughly 3 days later, you will wake up only in a t-shirt and, have no memory of the previous night. You will struggle to keep your shit together mentally. Finally,your daughter, who has been caring for you as best as she can with 4 kids of her own to take care of, and her twin sisters twin boys, who can be a handful..and a small little business..takes you to the ER. There, you will be told you have double pneumonia. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  No worries, you'll be out in 5 days and feel like yourself in a month or so!
Good lord. I'm looking forward to a couple of hours to myself in the  morning..until I have to  pick up my nephews at their bus stop..and hopefully, we are going to have a great day, free of sickness, whining, and trips to the ER.