Up yours with the feet!!

This is for my dear friend Contagious.. you and your damn feet! Haha!

The Open House...

Ok, so it wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be.. it was actually quite boring.. My son was happy enough to finally get to meet his teacher.. who by the way doesn't appear to be playing with a full deck. Maybe I wouldn't be either if I hung out with 17 five year olds all day.. Anyway, I'll get into my impression of her in a minute. There were only 3 other kids at the open house. I guess they do it in small groups, so that it's not as hectic for the parents and teachers.
My son could barely contain his excitement about meeting his teacher. When we were brought back to the honey bees room (yea, he's a honey bee.. too bad he hates bugs!!) there were 2 women in the room. One asked my son his name, and then didn't go on to say who she was. I finally figured it out when I saw her name tag. It was his teacher of course, but my son had no idea. She was talking to him, and his eyes were all over the room wondering where his teacher was. When she finally did say who she was, his eyes got all wide, and he told me that she was his teacher. It was cute..
She then gave him a paper that she wanted him to write his name on. It would have been a simple task had my husband not seen another kid who could write his name better than our kid. Of course this feeds right into my husbands inability to let something go, and immediately he feels like he's failed his son..however, the first thing you learn when you have children, is NOT to compare them to everyone else. So, while the other children were starting their scavenger hunt around the room, my son was reluctantly writing his name- again.. I can understand not wanting your kid to be behind, but he wasn't the only one who's name was barely legible. And it's kindergarten, the friggin open house.. not his SAT's! jeez..
Anyway, let's move on from one fruit loop to another.. his teacher!! Where should I start.. um, ok, how about when she asked me twice in matter of 2 minutes about my son's bus schedule, and whether he'd be going straight home or not.. I have very little patience for shit like this, when I feel like I'm not being listened to.. ask my husband!! haha..Anyway, I could talk about her dress.. skin tight, and high heels, lots of jewelry..I'm the last person who would judge people on what they wear.. but what the hell?? This is kindergarten right?? And she's 50! I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt though since it was open house.. I'm sure she won't dress like that everyday.. I certainly hope not, it just doesn't seem practical.. finger painting, and block building in heels..
Anyway, it was more than that, she just had this very flighty way about her. My husband I both commented on it later. Of course my son goes "who's loopy?" Little ears here so much! They took the kids on a short bus ride and went over bus safety. My son sat down with his teacher.. kiss ass!! It was so funny!
Thursday is the big day though. He'll be riding the bus, and will be gone most of the day. I'm excited for him, I think he's going to have a lot of fun. As my sister pointed out, it's the end of something very special between him and I.. all that time together.. being the center of his world.. He's moving onto making friends, having another lady important in his life (even though she dresses like a ho!) I just hope that he'll always want to go back.. I'm not opposed to home schooling if he hates it!!

Tomorrow is open house at my son's school. Does anyone know how difficult it is to explain the concept of an open house to a 5 year old?? Well, actually the explaining on my part is rather easy, it's the comprehending on his part that we're having a hard time with. He's been telling people that we're going to his teacher's house tomorrow.. because she's opening it. Makes perfect sense to me..

Another one ready to leave the nest..

My nephew leaving for college has sparked quite an interest in my oldest son about the entire college experience. He told me today that he'd live there..even though a week ago when we were talking about my nephew leaving, he stated quite adamantly that he didn't want to move- in fact he still wants to marry me and live here forever. So, for him to say that he would move out was a pretty big step for the little guy. He's apparently given college quite a bit of thought over the last few days. He's already decided that he wants a Star Wars alarm clock, he's going to need something to wake him up if I'm not there. But what really worries him (like the poor kid needs one more thing to worry about) Is who's going to hold his hand if he has to cross the street while he's at college. And what if he forgets our phone number and needs to call us. Or heaven forbid that he can't find a phone to use. I assured him that by the time he's in college, he'll be big enough to cross the street without having to hold my hand, and that I'd write down our phone number just in case he forgot it. Oh, and I'll get him a cell phone like mommy has so he'll never need to look for a phone.
The concept of time still eludes the little bugger.. I know he thinks he's leaving for college any day, despite my attempts at trying to explain how many birthdays he'll have before that day. I was quite proud of him though, telling me that he'd be ok, and that he could live there.. Good lord! It's sad that in about 13 years, when he's old enough to go away to school, he'll be more than ready, I hope I am!!!

My entire family went to see my nephew today at college. I must say I've never felt so old than I did walking the campus of UNH today. We looked like the Griswold's.. I was carrying my youngest, briefly, until he found a huge set of stairs that he thought would be fun to walk up and down.. and up and down. It would have been fine if we weren't trying to get somewhere, and it wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't throw an absolute kiniption when I insisted on picking him up so that all the new young freshman could pass us. I think I may have sent a strong message to some of those kids passing us.. BIRTH CONTROL!! Use it!

One flew the nest..

Let me first start by saying I'm going to get so drunk tonight, that I might need to puke later! My nephew is officially moved into his dorm, let the party start at my house!!!!! No, I shouldn't be so thrilled.. he really is a great kid, but there's just something about him moving away that makes me feel like I've accomplished something! I guess we did, my husband and I.. my nephew's doing something that neither of his parents did, in fact, he's already done more than they did by graduating high school, and not having 2 kids at his age. And his older sister is wrapped up in her social life, her boyfriend, and just getting by. I think we pushed him in the right direction, and I feel a bit of pride because of that. I remember how exciting, and nerve wracking starting college was.. I'm hoping this is going to be a great experience for him, and lead him to great things. I know he has the potential to be so successful, I just hope he doesn't let the past drag him down.
Bringing him to school today made me reflect about my own college experiences.. I hope he Studies more than I did.. I hope he gets a degree.. and knows that there's more to college than holder keggers at the house you're renting to make money to throw more parties.. and that just because you feel like it's "paid for", when you have a gazillion loans, you better pay them later, cause there's nothing like good credit when you grow up!
I thought about dropping off my boys someday at college.. and how we're all going through so many changes lately.. my oldest starting kindergarten this week.. taking the bus.. pooping at school.. (he still hasn't aced the wiping his own butt thing.. I just hope he holds it!) My youngest is going to be a nightmare adjusting to his brother being at school. My husband is back at school, and I miss him.. hmph, I'm even surprised by that one! But with change I guess can come great things.. like a new fall schedule for t.v. (yea!!) My husband getting a paycheck.. red

My nephew is due to leave for college on Friday, and we still don't have the bill paid. He screwed himself out of a lot of financial aid by not applying on time. He now has to take out a loan to pay for this year. He asked his great grandfather to co-sign a loan, and he agreed. Today he backed out. This is 2 days away from him entering school, and 3 or 4 trips up to Maine for my nephew to get things worked out. The worst part is that he had someone else call and tell him. Lame lame lame.. So, now my husband and I are deciding if we want to commit financial suicide and co-sign for him, since there is no one else.
We want him to experience college, the entire experience. And we want him the hell out of our basement.. ugh.. what to do, what to do!

Say what??

We have the most wonderful housekeeper here at work. She's from Thailand, and has been in the United States for over 20 years. Which is why I find it so odd that her English can be so difficult to understand. One day she was telling me about her son, when he was little he got up every morning and went outside to pray... I thought that was kind of strange, for a little kid to go outside and pray, but what do I know about her customs, it could happen. It wasn't til a few moments later that I realized she was telling me that he went out to PLAY. Duh.. Anyway, she always comes to visit me in my brief 1.5 hours here. The other day she brought me the best homemade egg rolls! And I'm not generally an egg roll fan, but these were delicious.
She was here the other night, she took a seat next to me and went on about another co-worker of hers. I sort of just nodded, smiled, added all the right gestures that went along with what she was saying. I don't have much of a clue about what she was saying, only that it ended with her saying that the other lady was fat, and that people had better not mess with her. Now, she is the most soft spoken, sweetest lady here, not to mention the fact that you could blow her over she's so tiny. But nonetheless, I payed extra special attention her rantings, and tried as hard as I could to understand... I think I got away with it, she doesn't know that I can hardly understand her. I'm getting better, it's kind of like hanging out with my 2 year old all day, eventually you're going to get what he's telling you. Unfortunately, I can't ask the housekeeper to "show me" like I do when I don't understand my son..

Cooked out!!

He grilled! Without much fuss. I on the other hand was no where to be found (as he's told me a million times already) But if you ask any of our guests, they will tell you that I was busy being the hostess, making sure everyone had a drink, or a smoke..or whatever their fancy was. I had a fabulous time at the cookout. I bought way too much food, but isn't that how it always is. It wasn't til the next morning that I realized I had forgotten to bring out my potato salad, the one I slaved over.. but that's ok, I had it for breakfast the next morning.. eggs and potatoes are surprisingly not bad with a hangover!
My mom was at the party too, she always comes in handy with the kids. One of my oldest and dearest friends from Vermont was there. We don't get to see him much, but it's always fabulous when we do. Another friend of mine that I don't get to see much was there too. She's crazy, and not so much in that "Awh, you're crazy girl" kind of way. I mean, I think she might actually be crazy.. She went to high school with all of us. And besides the fact that she has 3 boys, and an alcoholic husband, I don't think she's changed that much. She still talks with a terrible NH farm accent, something you only get when you live too far off the main road. Every time I see her I think of the time about 10 years ago when a bunch of my friends went up to Maine to see the band Phish. She was known for hooking up with any derelick she could find, and disappearing for the entire show. It's not like my friends didn't try looking for her before they left, they spent quite a bit of time doing just that. It probably wouldn't have stung so bad, if they weren't on their way out and one of my friends stuck his head out of the car and yelled "bye so and so" right as they were passing her. I'm not sure if she ever got over that!
As Contagious said in her post, it's nice to meet up with these people in your life that you've shared so much of yourself with. It's not often that we get to, with everyone's busy lives, and hectic schedules, but no matter what time has passed we always can pick up where ever we left off.. they really are a bunch of ding dongs, and I love everyone of them!!

I don't want to sound sexist (heavens no) But at cookouts, aren't men supposed to do the grilling?? My husband announced to me earlier this week that he wasn't going to do anything on the grill at our cookout that we're having tomorrow..Um, ok. So I asked him if he would rather do everything else. Cause that's what I do every time we do this. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the planning. EVERYTHING! And I manage to take care of a household of kids at the same time. All I'm asking of him is to show up and cook the friggin food, and it's not like he's going to be stuck in a hot kitchen. He'll be outside with a cold beer in his hand, amongst a bunch of friends, flipping burgers. Big effing deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I feel better now..

Whine about wine..

Last night, I bought a bottle of wine for my husband to share.. in honor of our anniversary. I'm in no way a connoisseur of wine, and usually buy it at the grocery store for a few bucks. The end result is always the same! Last night however, I went to the liquor store and kicked down a whopping 20 bucks for a cabernet.. yum.
Well, the end result was a little different last night, as it totally stained my teeth (temporarily of course) and my tongue was black. Not to mention that the wine was disgusting! Wild Horses Vineyards, don't buy from them! I should have gone with my $7 Market Basket find..

What are we so afraid of?? Contagious with her snakes, me with my feet, cd and mattresses, it's crazy! Are we crazy?? My oldest son has been afraid of bugs most of his young life. I must say he's getting better, he can now be outside amongst the bugs without totally flipping out, as long as they don't fly too close. When he was three, he would scream if he saw a spot on the ceiling, or the wall. Whether it was just a smudge, or an actual bug, he wouldn't calm down til it was gone. I spent many a times standing tippy toed on top of a chair, with a white out pen trying to cover up whatever bug he thought he was seeing.
My fear, or absolute disdain for feet came from my great grandmother. She used to pay me a quarter to cut her 95 year old feet. Which by the way, were about an inch thick. I seriously used to gag, but I always did it. I don't know why I wanted that quarter so bad, it wasn't like it was a lot of money (yea, even back then) I guess I just didn't want to say no. I think to get over my issue with feet, I've got to just suck it up, and start touching feet. Maybe that would help. My husband has got quite the nasty feet, although in his defense, everyone's feet are nasty to me (except for my kids, for some reason I could eat those right up!) Maybe I'll give him a foot massage when I get home.. god, I just got the chills thinking about it. I think I'm going to have to live with this one folks!

Happy Anniversary to me..

My husband and I have been married 7 years today! Seems hard to believe that that much time has passed.. All in all it's been fabulous.. We have 2 wonderful, adorable boys, a home which we love most of the time. And an everlasting dream of making it work, til we die (or kill each other..haha..)
When I was 19 and started dating him, I thought I might be the luckiest girl in the world. We went to the same high school, but he climbed a different social ladder than I did. We both played soccer, but I'm pretty sure that he didn't know I existed. Although he lies and says he knew who I was and thought I was "cute" (yea right!) He was, in my eyes, one of the cutest of the soccer players, and I would just sit there and watch him jog on by.. wishing someone like him would someday be interested in someone like me.. Little did I know then, that 14 years later we'd be where we are today.. It would have surely put me on top of the world!
We didn't actually meet and start going out until the summer break after my first year at college, which happened to be the same college he was attending. We met through his brother, who briefly dated a good friend of mine (Contagious). We spent that entire summer together, and the following year at school we were inseparable. It wasn't until I was 25 and we'd been together for 6 years, that he proposed.. We were married a year later.. had our first son a year after that.. what can I say? I'm just gushing right now.. thinking about him, and us.. I'm sure tomorrow, or the next day he'll do something that infuriates me, some things never change, but it feels as fresh as it did when I was 19.. Here's to another 7 years!!!

Farts..

Farts are funny. They just are. And stories about farts are just as amusing as anything I guess.. So here are a few good stories.. about the FAHT!!
When I was in the 4th grade, my class was stretching in gym class. We were down on the floor trying to touch our toes.. and one just ripped right out. Naturally everyone around me heard it, and looked around for the source. I pointed to the fat kid in front of me, Billy Purdy, and blamed it on him. They bought it.. poor Billy.. but the karma of that story comes back, don't worry!
When I was 16 and dating my first boyfriend, we were horsing around on the couch, kind of wrestling I guess. All of sudden I heard this huge rip, and I swore that my dressed had just been torn. I jumped up and tried to find the rip.. I could have looked all night for that rip, because of course there wasn't one. Soon enough the smell kind of waft up.. I ignored it, horrified. I wasn't sure at the moment if it was him or me. Of course I now know it must have been him. He didn't say anything either about the lingering odor!
Later with that same boyfriend, while in the throws of teenage passion, I let one go between the sheets. I think I might have tried to not let it escape, you know, I kind of pulled the sheets tight, hoping it wouldn't sneak out.. And it was silent and oh so deadly.. and soon enough the smell came up to say hello, and kill the mood and cause quite an argument about who let that one go. I actually denied it and insisted that it must have been him. I lost that argument..
Once my friend was at her chiropractors getting an adjustment when she was 6 months pregnant. They had her laying face down (I think) And the poor girl couldn't hold it in. I think she said he was cute too, and told her not to worry that it happens all the time. I'm not sure if she went back to him. You know that he'd always remember that moment. Even if everyone does it "all the time" you still remember!
During the birth of my 2nd son one of my worst fears became realized at about 4 am. After 2 epidurals and 21 hours of labor, the nurse had me lay on my side, hold my knees, and try pushing that way. I'm sure this had nothing to do with the position, but I let one go, and man, it was the loudest, longest fart I think I had ever witnessed. My husband, who has been known to go on line and listen to different fart sounds didn't even blink. I'm sure he was concerned about how I would handle him laughing at me during such a difficult time. But I laughed out loud, apologized, and continued pushing.. Childbirth is not about being delicate, or trying to maintain your dignity.
Recently, like the other day, I was blowing up an inner tube for my son, and one just escaped yet again. This time my husband did not hold back, and did not try to spare my feelings.. Yea, it was funny. My kids thought so too. I've got them trained to fart on demand! That's going to come in handy when they're a bit older and having sleepovers.. Nothing funnier than a pull my finger at a boys sleepover..right??

Should the fact that oil is heading to $67 a barrell mean something to me? How much should a barrell of oil cost anyway? Am I the only one who doesn't know that?? Why aren't they saying "oil is going to be a dollar a gallon more" or "the price of oil is going to make filling your gas tank even more outrageous" I don't get the whole barrell thing.. It's not just me is it??

Waffle anyone??

Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a friggin waffle.. my husband changes his mind more than I change diapers in a day. Here's an example: we took our house off the market and decided to add onto it. He's even had a builder come out and work up an estimate. That was last week. This week he doesn't want to do it. He doesn't think it's practical. Sure, but it's practical to share a bedroom with our two kids, right?? Cause that's essentially what we're doing. Our 2 small bedrooms are divided by a set of pocket french doors. It worked well for the bachelor who lived at our house before we did, but not so much now.
How about the tree he cut last weekend.. which totally gives anyone driving by our house a fabulous view of our side yard..where the kids play on their slip and slide, and where I used to enjoy to sit out and read.. First he said he'd get some shrubs. Then he said he'd put up a fence. Then he said he wouldn't put up a fence, then he asked our neighbor is she would mind us putting up a fence, then he went shopping for shrubs.. This guy needs some serious medication! Or maybe I need some more!

Blonde Moments

I decided I should keep track of all my blonde moments.. since they are sometimes humorous, and sometimes just kind of scary. We all have them, however, unfortunately some of us have them more often. It was over the weekend, when I was making some eggs for the boys breakfast. In the process, I was also making myself a cup of coffee. I also happened to be talking to my husband.. a true recipe for disaster, doing too much at once. It wasn't until I saw the look on my husbands face that I realized I had just dumped two packs of my "fake" sugar all over the eggs. Yum. Nothing like having a blonde moment that makes whatever I'm doing take twice as long.
Here's one more.. I was at Walmart recently doing some much needed shopping. I was in the electronics department getting the boys a new Star Wars movie. Any Walmart shopper knows that you have to pay for your purchases before you leave that department. Which I did, then continued my shopping. I went to the self checkout, because I'm a glutten for punishment, I can never get those things to work and always need help. It wasn't til I was at home that I realized my youngest son had taken the movie that we had already paid for, and put it on the conveyor belt. And then I scanned it, and payed for it twice! Duh.. Anyway, I did end up going back a week later and getting my money back.. the lady at the returns desk didn't seem too surprised when she saw me with all the kids in tow.. she said she could understand why I might be distracted! Ya think??

Fun with the flat iron..

Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to watch children.. not after the fun I had with one of the babies I watch. He's 14 months old, and has the cutest, curliest hair, and I could not resist trying to straighten it. I wasn't sure how he'd react to me playing with his hair, but he just sat there on the floor playing with some blocks and let me straighten to my hearts content.
I didn't realize how long his hair was, or how friggin funny it was going to look with no curls left. His hair didn't lay very flat, it just kind of stuck out everywhere.. it was almost like the Flock of Seagulls, or as his mom pointed out Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future. His mother laughed when she came to pick him up, and then said he wouldn't be returning. Of course she's kidding.. her son loves me! But who wouldn't love some pampering.. next week I'll be doing his nails, and giving him a facial!! He'll look fabulous!

The dentist visit...

My oldest son had his dentist appointment this morning. I am happy to report that the crap I took this morning due to some serious nerve issues was for nothing!! He did everything he was supposed to, didn't freak out at all, even when the hygenist was scraping tartar off his bottom teeth.. He just took it all in, and was a very big boy!
My husband didn't want to bring him to this appointment because he was embarassed. There was visable tartar on his teeth, and for the past week or so my son's been complaining of pain in his lower teeth. He thought for sure that he was going to be riddled with cavities, and I must say, so did I. As his parents we've tried hard to maintain good hygene, but it's not always that easy. More often than not, he gets one brushing a day rather than two.
The hygenist took two xrays, and I waited eagerly, or dreadfully I guess for the dentist to go over the results. They were fabulous! Not a single cavity in his head! The pain in his lower teeth is from his adult teeth starting to grow in! Needless to say I entered the dentist feeling like a total schmo, but left feeling like I had done the best job in the world! I raised a mellow, cooperative kid, with fabulous, healthy teeth!!

The dentist..aka the dr who failed med school..

I hate the dentist. I would rather have a pap smear, maybe even a colonscopy..
Today, I made the mistake of telling my oldest son that he's going to the dentist in 2 days.. This will be his first visit to the dentist, and needless to say he's less than thrilled. But after he stopped crying, I promised him a new Star Wars toy... As you can see, he really needs this appointment.. :)