Friday, December 28, 2007

Let the insanity insue..

My sister is going back to work from her maternity leave in just over 2 weeks. Her 3 children are going to be coming to my house 3 days a week... Many people have been asking me how I am going to do this.. 2 sets of twins, under 2.. a 2 1/2 year old, and my 4 year old.. My response has been that I can pretty much do anything for 3 days a week.. and I think that people who know me, know that I can handle this.. or at least that's what I'm thinking.. I'll let you know if I've checked myself in anywhere! ;)

2 Years Ago Today..

I found out that I was pregnant with twins. I remember seeing the look on the doctor's face as she moved the ultrasound wand on my belly, a rather suspicious look.. and then when she said "Well, I see one.." And then the panic my husband was thrown into.. and the sheer excitement that I felt.. twins! Holy shit!

And here we are, 2 years later, countless nights with no sleep, hundreds and hundreds of diapers, what seems to be millions and millions of bottles of milk.. about a ton of spit up on and over my shoulder.. hours of crying, days of rocking and bouncing babies up and down.. I don't know how we survived.. but we have.
It won't be long when I'll be reminiscing about the girls being toddlers.. And all the great stories.. Like today when one of the girls pulled her sister down to the ground by her hair just to get the plastic spoon she was playing with. Or how this morning, I woke up with both of them in my bed and found one of them laying right on top of her sister. Just cuddling. They are sympathetic to each others pain as well. One was having a tantrum the other day for some unknown reason, and the other one went over and just put her arms around her and gave her a hug. Unfortunately this only incensed the twin having the tantrum, and she rejected her hug and basically body slammed her to the ground.. Yes, I have become a referee! I'm thankful to know that these times are so fleeting.. I can't imagine what my life is going to be like when these babies are no longer babies, and are instead 2 more kids in my family.. talking to me non stop!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Lots of Wood..

We got a cord of wood delivered today. It's a lot of wood, and our wood stove is toasty and roaring! We're going to see how long this lasts us, then we might opt for the recycled cardboard logs, or possibly another option.
My husband spent almost 4 hours outside in the rain moving it from the driveway to the backyard. I felt terrible for him. Seeing him soaking wet with our wheel barrel going back and forth.. But then I looked around at our house, which looks like a toy store threw up in my living room, and my 2 baby girls who aren't finding any peace or joy this holiday season, and the 2 boys who are most certainly old enough to understand the concept of an indoor voice, but can't seem to apply it, and I thought.. lucky fucker!!
Oh well.. at least it's going to be warm and toasty and we can have that campfire feel all winter!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Now I can celebrate..

Christmas is over, my tree will be coming down shortly, and I won't have to wrap another present until next year! Yee ha!
The kids had a great holiday and my husband and I are trying to figure out where in our house we are going to fit all the stuff they got. Last year when people asked me what they wanted/needed, I told them clothes. Big mistake considering my then 3 year old was beside himself with every rectangular shaped box he got passed his way, which was many. This year, people just asked me what kind of toys he wanted, because there was no way they were going through that hell again. So, they both got a gazillion toys. Toys that their sisters just want to get into, explore and basically see if it'll fit into their mouths. The girls got toys too, but what do they want with a baby doll when their brothers have gameboys and cup stackers??
My husband and I just did stockings for each other this year. Although he cheated a bit and got me a digital picture frame, from the kids. In my stocking he stuffed it with socks, a candle, a book, a dunkin donuts gift card, mittens, shampoo, and a serrated knife (because we don't have one!) Hope everyone got what they wanted/needed.. or just didn't have!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Paper Cutter- It's genius!

You will never want to use scissors again while wrapping gifts. This dumb little thing is the handiest little gadget going. It's super easy to use, it just glides over the wrapping paper (like butter) it's safe, and you can let your kids play with it in between cuttings.. Although the last part isn't particularly recommended because then the kid will lose it, you'll spend 10 minutes trying to find it, resort back to scissors, only to find it 2 hours later tucked nicely under your fat ass.

Anyway, if you don't have one, get one!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Who Made Me?

My youngest son asked me this last night. I told him that his father and I did. Yes, but HOW?? Good lord.. Luckily, before I could defer this to my husband my oldest son chimes in "You used to be an egg, and then you hatched."
Ahh, thank you buddy! He totally bought it, and holy shit is my 7 year old going to have the surprise of his life when he finds out how that egg turned into a baby, and how mommy "hatched" it..

When your memory escapes you..

Here are just a few things that I've forgotten in the past few days:

-to get a gift that I had said that I would donate to a needy family (nice!)

-to call my son's dentist (the husband thinks that his loose front tooth isn't falling out quick enough..)

-to return the retakes for my youngest son's school pictures. The first ones were kind of cute, except that 1.) I had forgotten it was picture day and he was in this random t-shirt and shorts and 2.) the photographer had him posing on a rock, with his little leg bent, exposing the family jewels.. no one ever said that "Pedophile Portraits" were taking the pics..

-and finally, that Christmas is only 5 days away.. frick.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Wood Whore..

That's what I've become.. and not in the sense that would please my husband, but the wood burning whore. My older sister brought me some wood yesterday, and I've had a fire going ever since. We're about to run out though, and I feel like an addict needing to get a fix. I offered to run to the grocery store to buy a bundle of over priced campfire wood tonight to which my husband laughed and told me that I would get my wood, but probably not til the end of week, or sometime next week. It won't be in the budget til then..
I am loving the whole wood burning atmosphere having a stove going creates. I've lived her for over 5 years, and we've had a fire here and there, but for the majority of the time, I've honestly just wanted to get rid of it. Fear of chimney fires and children burning their extremities on it just made it seem foolish to even have one. However, some good friends let us borrow a gate, so the kids can't even get close to it. And I can totally rock it out when it comes to getting it going. I came home from work tonight and my husband was having a hard time getting it to burn.. I blew on it for like 20 seconds, repositioned it slightly, and there you go.. Wow, I really do sound like a whore! Haha!! Good night..

You've got to be kidding!

What is this child thinking? I mean, I know shit "happens" or whatever, but man.. It's sad, and pathetic.. and a total WTF situation.. I have no idea what I'm going to tell my kids when one of their favorite shows gets the boot. I wonder if this girl has any idea that her career, as well as her life are pretty much over..

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


What is it about this word that makes me throw up in my mouth just a little bit every time I hear it? My sister and I were trying to think of other words that have the same feeling when you hear them, but came up with nothing. I know they're out there, but nothing is worse than MOIST. ick..

Monday, December 17, 2007

Enviro Log..

Kind of sounds like something that might come out of ones ass, but it's not. It's 100% recycled wax cardboard, like cereal boxes, and other food type boxes. We got this over the weekend to burn in our wood stove, just in case we lost power.. and I gotta say, I loved it! It burned hot, and once you got past the initial waxy smell (that really didn't linger too long) then we were in heaven! I went back to get more today, but the store was out (effing home depot!) We've decided that with the cost of fuel these days to try and use our wood stove. I was afraid that it wouldn't heat the whole house, but it does.. and warmer than our furnace! It was nice to sit in our living room and not be bundled up in blankets!

Snowed In..

Yesterday was one of the suckiest days weather wise this year.. and it's not even technically Winter yet.. We made the best of being shut-ins all day with cookie making, homemade snow flakes (thanks for my husband for teaching my boys how to do don't suppose he was the one sweeping up all the scraps!) And this wonderful snowman that my youngest son so originally named "Frosty"

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

What do ya think?

Tonight is my third night of being at home alone with all the chillen. My husband is at a gig tonight, last night it was soccer, and Monday night it was band practice. I'm going out with the girls Friday night.. I'm thinking I don't even have to come home at this point.. am I right folks or what??

Is it just me???

Or does anyone else want to throttle Rachel Ray? It could be the way she tries to be hip with her cute little acronyms, like e.v.o.o. (extra virgin olive oil) or the way she so wittingly says delish, or the way she exaggerates in the new dunkin donuts promos "I always have like a million pounds of this stuff" referring to, of course, their coffee.. well, No you don't! You suck, and I'm tired of seeing your stupid face on my t.v. My kids even know I can't stand her, although there is some confusion because we buy Ritz crackers with her picture on the box.. well, duh, if I could find a box without her picture that would be one thing. Anyway, I feel better, and I guess now I can go to bed!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Everyday News..

I like this girl. I don't know who she is, but she's funny.. Anyway, she's always got a nice comment for me, and I think her blog should be checked out! (Heidi, I hope you don't mind :)

Breakfast with my mother..

And my sister, and her twins, and my twins, and the non stop barrage of people commenting on how many kids we have.. And the echo of my mother's voice saying "They're all twins!" The last time my sister and I went to breakfast (at the same restaurant) nothing was said. I don't think anyone even noticed us. I don't know what changed this last time, maybe it was the fact that my sister's boys were out of their car seats. It must have been more obvious that there were more kids there than before.. But having my mom there to tell every person that glanced our way that my sister and I were twins, and that we each had a set of twins was a tad nerve wracking. Nothing like being shoved into the "spotlight" for lack of a better word, while trying to devour my eggs benedict and feed two toddlers at the same time. Some people just don't know what to say, after my mom's spiel, an older woman looked at me perplexed and said "So, are you two sisters?" It's just too much for some people to absorb. And of course we always run into someone we know at this restaurant, who just have to look us over for a good 30 seconds in disbelief. Yea, I know, we really are a freak show. And my poor younger son, and niece are sitting there wondering what the hell the big deal is? They're just a bunch of crying babies that have changed their lives forever. Why does anyone care??

Monday, December 10, 2007

My good nights of sleep come and go. One of the twins sleeps like a rock, for about 11 hours. The other one is up every other night, screaming at the top of her lungs until I go in and get her. The boys (especially the little one) have been doing great.. Until last night.. The first time I heard my youngest one crying for me, he wanted to change his underwear. Yes, that's right. He awoke me from a lovely slumber to tell me that he wanted to take off his tighty whitey's in favor of some boxers. Of course I just do it, because arguing with this one when he's not half asleep usually gets me no where, so I just got him changed, did the usual hugging, kissing, and going back and forth with "I love you" and "But I love you more" the entire way back to my own bed. Which I am only in for a moment, because the drama twin has heard all the commotion and has decided to dust off her vocal chords and try to wake up the entire street. So, she comes into our bed... all the while, my husband is fast asleep (or at least appearing that way..) Well, I'm not back into my dreams for 5 minutes when my youngest son starts crying again (he's 4 btw, a little old in my opinion for these pathetic outbursts.. but whatever..) So, I grab my pillow, as I know it's going to be much easier to just get into bed with him, and try to sleep there... which of course makes him smile ear to ear as he snuggles in.. Soooooo.. the longest night of my life continues when my oldest son (yes, the angel child) starts bawling in his bed on the top bunk.. WTF?? He thinks he's got a bloody nose, turns out it's just congestion and for some reason has begun to run. I get him a tissue, and tell him to blow. This only freaks him out, because blowing his nose is something he absolutely loathes doing. So, I tell him to lay back down, stop crying and go back to sleep.. 2 minutes later, little miss dq is awake down the hall in our bed, screeching because she has awoken, and not found her mommy right there.. Her daddy is right there, but of course he's still sleeping (bastard!) I run back to my own bed, which leaves my youngest son extremely upset, but I tell him I'll be right back, hoping that he'll just fall back to sleep and forget about me for a little while.

Well, he forgot about me for about 30 seconds and starts crying again.. this time, dear old Dad grabs his pillow and finally starts to help out. So, now I'm just getting ready for the best 3 hours left of the night, alone in my bed (with the exception on my little drama queen) when I hear the other twin start screaming.. OMG! Was it a full moon last night?? So, I let her cry for a minute or two, and she finally dozes back to sleep.. for a minute or two, and then she's at it again.. and when this baby cries, it's not so much a screeching like her sister, but a rolling of her r's.. She sounds just like Chewbacca when she cries.. Which makes listening to her amusing, but then it becomes just pitiful. So, she comes into bed with me too.. And there I am, at 3 in the morning, with 2 babies smooshed next to me, and a husband sleeping comfortably down the hall..

Sunday, December 09, 2007


Here are my sister's beautiful children.. I gotta say, we make some pretty cute kids! ;)

Friday, December 07, 2007

More Scary Shit at Preschool..

My poor poor youngest son. He just can't seem to get a break from everything dreadful. Today at school, an Elf, Mr. Bingles came to visit. His teacher had forewarned me, and had even talked to him about it last week. However, his little 4 year old brain had totally dismissed it, until this morning, while in the middle of my shower, he asks me if anyone is coming to his school today. I thought for sure he was testing me (yes, he's made me as paranoid as him) So I said, "yea, remember the Elf, Mr. Bingles?" And that was the end of my hot shower, my morning calm (yea, like there's ever any of that) And basically my patience.

He pretty much cried until I promised to get him a Happy Meal for dinner tonight. Then the rest of the morning was just a barrage of questions about what Mr. Bingles was going to look like, whether or not he had pointy ears, was he just in a costume, and so on and so on..

So, I get him to school, and he gets out of the car, and the teacher kind of gives me a look, like she knew exactly what was on his mind, and that was that. I leave, and for 3 hours, no one is asking me questions over and over, and the babies could care less about what the rest of their day would be like.

I went back to pick him up. I watched him from my car, and he looked really happy. He did look however, to be wearing someone else's clothes.. Hmmm... His teacher brought him over to the car, with a plastic bag in her hand. She's said he did great, he really enjoyed Mr. Bingles, and he even enjoyed the story that Mr. Bingles read. Then she says, as she's handing me the bag, "I think he might have been a little nervous.. he had an accident." Oh. I had no idea what kind of accident she was referring to (#1, or 2) so as we're driving home, I asked him about it. He said it was only pee, and he just forgot that he needed to go.. I don't know what to think sometimes.. about this little boy who so frequently tries my patience, and drives me insane. I would have thought that something like that, peeing in front of his peers, would send him over the edge. But apparently, it was no big deal, yea, he just forgot that he needed to pee. Good lord. At least he didn't lose his shit with Mr. Bingles, and perhaps we're one step closer to getting him over all that terrorizes him.. perhaps.

Christmas Lists..

My kids have written letter upon letter to Santa this year. My oldest son has them everywhere, some of them are long and lengthy, other's are just random questions, like "how are the reindeer doing?" or "are the elves working hard?". My youngest son is keeping it pretty simple, due to his inability to read or write and is just drawing pictures of what he wants. Mainly consisting of Christmas trees, snowmen and stars. Yes, this is what he wants.
Yesterday my oldest son told me that he wanted an ipod for Christmas. I told him that he could have one, if he could tell me what it was. Yea, he's not getting one.
I asked my mom the other day what she wanted for Christmas. Nothing. Of course. So, then I hypothetically asked her what she would want.. if I was to get her something, and she finally said underwear (I think we all know why she needs those) and duct tape (?) I have no idea where her need for that comes from, but it's been noted. And then last night, she called me and told me that if anyone wanted to really know what she wanted, it would be a bottle of Kahlua. I'm not sure I want to give my already depressed, out of work, on pain medication mom alcohol..but we'll see.. I got her a sweater already, maybe I'll just duct tape some undies and Kahlua to it..
Now I just have to finish up my dad (who the hell knows what he wants..) And then I might just be done.. I love Christmas..

The Elf on the Shelf..

My sister's mother in law, who is such a sweetheart, sent my kids an Elf on the Shelf.. It's this vintage looking little elf who sits at our house, and keeps tabs on them. Then each night, he reports to Santa on how they're behaving.. it's a helpful tool when they're running wild..

Each night, the elf returns, and sits in a different spot. The next morning, the boys wake up and look for him. Sounds like a nice little game right? Well, it would be except for the fact that since we got this thing last week, my youngest son has been the first one to find him, every morning. Which is really pissing off his older brother. Each morning all week, there have been some sort of melt downs and outburst because of who did or didn't see the stupid elf first. This morning, when they came screaming up the stairs waking up the babies, I told them that I was going to have to ask the elf to go back to the north pole.. if they couldn't find a way to have fun with it. We'll see how tomorrow morning goes, they might just wake up to find a note from that little elf saying he couldn't take the tantrums anymore and that he hopes they have fun with all that coal Santa's going to be bringing them!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Nothing much..

Things are getting back to normal at my house.. as normal as it can get anyway. My oldest son woke up early with a nose bleed. My youngest son woke up and said he was sick again (he does this when he knows he has pre school) And my girls woke up and had totally peed through their pajamas. Yet this is what I call normal.
We're nearing the holidays, and I'm mildly freaking out. A woman that saw a hand bag that I had made for my mother in law a few weeks ago has asked me to make her four of them for the holidays. I'm more than happy to do that, but she's currently in Phillie until next Friday, and wants to meet me before she commits to buying anything from me. I'm not sure what meeting me will do for her.. I sent her pictures of my work, and she saw the bag my mil had, so wtf? Just order some bags, and let's get on with our lives. I can't imagine having time to make 4 bags 10 days before Christmas, which I told her, but she said she might not want them until the spring. I suppose I should just be happy that anyone would want one of my bags.. but this is certainly not how I want to do it.. Then again, I guess I could tell her that.. I could say, sorry, I don't know you, and you're not about to come to my house with me and my children.. but that would require using something I don't have.. which is a backbone. Damn, I gotta get me one of those!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

At least my couch is clean (now)

I got home from work last night, sat down with my 4 year old who had crashed on the couch, only to be puked on moments later. What is it about being a mom that involves someone ALWAYS puking on you? And shouldn't I be seasoned enough in the mothering field that I know when it's coming? Ugh, one would think. But the silver lining to all that is that he was in bed really early (yeeha!) And it forced me to wash the sofa cushions, which were sooo disgusting.
His brother woke up this morning, wanting to stay home from school because he was convinced that he had "caught his brother's sick" And I was too cold, and maybe too tired to argue so he stayed home and neither of them got dressed today.. Luckily no one else has caught the "sick" and they are more than prepared for the viewing of Rudolph tonight at 8.
Oh, and I must mention the fact that I live with Mr. Obvious. My oldest son. As my 4 year old is upchucking dinner, and the water I had just made him drink (because his throat felt funny) My oldest son is screaming "He's puking, mom, he's throwing up everywhere!" Just what I want to hear as I'm literally trying to scoop up the vomit and keep the babies away at the same time.. Thanks for the update buddy, I wasn't sure what he was doing until you told me! oy..

Monday, December 03, 2007

Winter Wear..

It's not even officially winter yet, and today was our first snow storm, and snow day. And of course I brought the kids out and built snowmen, and snow forts, and then we laid down in the snow and made snow angels.. This was all followed by hot cocoa and warm brownie sundaes. Then we all snuggled up by the fire and read some poetry.. and then yes, pigs flew right through my house, followed by the monkies that came out of my ass! ;) It was more like pop tarts and cartoons.. and mom doing buttloads of laundry, and not one of my kids asking to go outside. Almost a perfect day!

The Hair on my Chinny Chin Chin..

I am no stranger to chin hair. I'll admit it. Ever since I had all those babies, and my girly hormones were compromised and partially replaced with some male ones. I always knew this was coming, we come from a long line of women with beards. It's so very attractive.. but whatever, I take care of it, and I never look like the cave woman that I am describing..
However, as much as I wish I could get rid of it forever (like with electrolysis or something) I'm not one of those people who could a.) afford it and b.) opt for it.. any "procedure" that really isn't necessary, really isn't for me. So, there are those days when yes, I have a bit of stubble (I hope my husband is reading this..jeez) Well, one of my babies has discovered this, and can't help but rub my chin like it was a genie in a bottle. I swear, anytime she's sitting on me she's got her hand up there searching around for something to rub. It is becoming her blankie of sorts. I saw her tonight sitting on my husbands lap, doing the same exact thing with his goatee! Nice. I bet she thought she had hit the mother load! Maybe electrolysis wouldn't be such a bad thing.. hmm...

What's the name of the bone in your wiener?

This was the question posed to me last night by my 7 year old during his bath. I tried explaining to him that there is no bone in your wiener, but since he's been learning about all the bones in the human body at school, he was quite convinced that there was in fact a name for the bone in his wiener.. (and can I just tell you how HARD it was for me not to name that bone- boner, just for a laugh.. but my better judgement luckily took over..) We finally agreed that the bone he must be thinking of was his pelvic bone, which is of course directly behind behind the wiener.. It was quite the amusing conversation, and I'm sure it wasn't lost on his brother who was soaking it all in.. now he too knows the name of the bone in (or near) his wiener!