Monday, December 10, 2012

Lois Mahalia

Every once and a while, I come across something worth sharing. I have been known to occasionally "over" share, but not today.
Recently, I was introduced to the beautiful voice of Lois Mahalia. She's an accomplished vocalist who has recently toured with Joe Walsh.  She's bluesy, soulful, and her voice sings to my heart..She has come out with a Christmas Album for kids appropriately titled "Feeling Like a Kid" but don't think for a second that grown ups alike won't fall in love!
Give her a listen, you can download the CD for just 7 bucks! Just go here to get it! You can also get a preview here. I promise, your kids, your family and your EARS will thank you for it! Now GO!!! ;)

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Subbey Douby Do!

My senior year in high was a tumultuous time in my life, as it is for many kids facing adulthood. I was barely scraping by with my grades, and despite getting into Northeastern for journalism, the minute I stepped off the T in the "big city", I knew I could never go there. Opting for northern NH instead, in the mountains of Plymouth State. Those two schools couldn't have been more different from each other, but I felt safe in the woods, and exposed in the city.
One of the many struggles we had that year, my mom, sister and I, was transportation. We had a number of cars that year, but my favorite was my red Subaru station wagon. I loved that car! It had enough room for all my friends, and a cozy backseat for my boyfriend and I. Yes, we would take that car out, and find quiet places to go and talk. Yes, talk.. I was NOT that kinda girl! hhmm.. Anyway, I will never forget taking him to one of the many places I had lived in my childhood. This was one of my favorite places..not the house itself (the single wide we rented) but the property it was on. It stretched on for miles it seems and my sister and I used to spend hours exploring it. Part of it had been cleared by loggers, part of it was swamp and most of it were trails. Some people might call them roads..but not the people with any common sense! One of these roads,  led to the most beautiful pond, with the best swimming anywhere. It was private, and secluded, and I had to show him this. We could have walked in. That would have been smart, but I had four wheel drive in my subbey, so off we went. Roughly 20 feet into our adventure, I got the thing stuck. Really stuck. Despite my best efforts, and my boyfriends insistence that he could push it out, we had no such luck. With an impending curfew, and a mother who I knew was gonna kill me I was completely panicked. It wasn't long before someone had heard all our attempts at getting it unstuck, when the cops were called. Fabulous. I told them why we were there..because I had grown up down the road and had wanted to show him the pond..I'm sure they bought it... I coulda punched my boyfriend when he started telling the cops that his grandfather was a prominent judge in town. Shut up, no one wants to hear that you think you're "somebody" to get us off the hook. They weren't there to arrest us, so let's not brag about who we are, k? cause I was nobody to them, and I wanted to keep it that way. Thankfully, they just ignored his attempts to impress them, and called a tow truck for us.  My boyfriend had enough cash on him to cover it, (you know, cause his grandfather was a judge!)  and we got pulled out. The rest of our night was spent at the car wash trying to wash all the mud off the Subaru and hide any evidence from my mom. She wouldn't believe for one second that we were going out there just to see the pond. She had enough experience and abuse from my older siblings to keep my sister and I on a very short leash..even though, really, we didn't need it.
The car soon became my mom's, as I would be leaving for school in the mountains, and she would end up needing it more than me.. I miss that car. The way it (normally) handled the roads..when you actually stay on them! My nephew has a Subaru now, and so does my dad. They are a solid car, dependable, and are well priced. I think my ex-boyfriend ended up in a Subaru somewhere.. I'm sure he did. And I'm sure he probably told the guy selling him the car who his grandfather was! punk..

  For more information on some of the newer models by Subaru, go to Reedman Subaru, a top PA car dealership.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Wimps..or maybe not.

It's been a long couple of weeks. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but roughly 4 years ago, my husband injured his right shoulder, and has been suffering (not so silently) with it ever since. He can't pin point the exact thing he did to tear his rotator cuff. It could have been anything, from the countless hours he's spent carrying any and all of our four kids at some point during their earlier years. It could have been all the landscaping he's done over the years..or the jerking off!  I simply don't know, and could care less. I just wanted it fixed!
It's a fact. Men are wimps when it comes to pain. (am I right ladies, c'mon??) When my husband and I were first together, we went and got tattoo's. He went first, and got a lizard on his right shoulder blade. He had a thing for lizards when he was in his early 20's. He had two (supposedly both female) til one of them got pregnant, then subsequently died because the egg ruptured inside of her before being released. It's ok, don't cry. I was over that the minute those cold blooded little bitches got their own bathroom! And they got their own bathroom because 1.) they were aggresive little fuckers but needed more space than just a normal cage and 2.) because the bathroom they got had a heat lamp, and they stayed nice and cozy! There were many a night, a drunk friend, or even my husband would have to take a leak and couldn't wait for the "normal no lizards allowed" bathroom and started to do their business, and the more aggresive lizard would jump for the stream of pee.
Anyway, sorry about getting so side tracked. Let me see, oh yes, wimps! About 5 minutes into the painful tattoo, my husband fainted. Turned green like the lizard he was having put on his back, and fell over! Once he regained his composure, he let the guy finish, and then I had mine done. While it was painful, it was certainly nothing that was going to throw me to the floor. That was when I made up my mind about guys, and their wimpiness. All the rumors, were true! As women, I believe we are naturally more conditioned to endure physical pain, if we weren't, the human race would have epically failed after the first man gave birth.
So, back to my poor husband and his shoulder. When he finally did see his doctor, and had an MRI, it was discovered that he had a pretty significant torn rotator cuff. He tried physical therapy, and anti inflammatory medications, but nothing worked. He decided for surgery. I was all for whatever he thought was best, but I did ask if I could attend the meeting with the surgeon, because he lacked many answers to some pretty important questions.. like, how do they do it? How long will you be out of work? what's the time frame on healing that bad boy up? My husband was under the impression that he could go in on Friday, and be back to school on Monday. Uh, yea. It rarely goes down like I discovered when the surgeon told me that he recommends most his patients take 2 weeks off from work! Not to mention the fact that he would be unable to lift anything heavier than a coffee cup for 8 weeks. It was an enlightening visit to say the least. When booking the surgery with the surgical staff, my husband was told their first opening was the day before Thanksgiving. Before I could oppose, my husband says "I'll take it!" to which I reply.."but we're hosting this year" to which he rebutts "Perfect!"
So, that is how it went down. He had to check in at noon the day before Thanksgiving, on an entirely empty stomach since midnight the day before. This may have been the hardest part for him. It's hard to tell a man who's metabolism runs like a freight train, not to eat for 18 hours! He did it though, despite his entire family eating like pigs in front of him! On his way to the OR, my husband told me that he loved me, and apologized in advance for the pain in the ass he was going to be later. That was heartfelt for him, I knew he was nervous..what if something went telling me that was a big deal.
The surgery went really well, the assisting surgeon was someone my husband has "jammed" with before, as I discovered post op when he came back to talk to us in the recovery room, said it was "textbook" perfection..or something like that. It was a clean tear, which made fixing it that much easier.
Much to my surprise, my husband joined us for dinner the next day. I thought for sure he'd be in his bed crying about how bad it hurt (this is where the whole men are wimps comes in). He was not a wimp at all. I did everything for him, 3 hot meals a day, dressed him, gave him what he referred to a Portuguese shower..or sponge bath, washed his hair in the kitchen sink. And handled the kids, and that little holiday Thanksgiving. I had no idea how much I was going to love taking care of him. I hadn't thought of it, really. I knew he'd be layed up, but I didn't know how my maternal instinct was going to kick in, and he was going to be first priority. Maybe it was his gratitude, because he was grateful. Or maybe it was just nice to feel appreciated. Sometimes in the hub bub of our lives, we have little time for appreciation. It wasn't just one way either. I was appreicative of all he does, and could no longer do. And for once, instead of him taking care of all of us (in a deeper way than just the monetary support he provides) I was able to take care of him. I was his lifeline. And I kinda dug that! He said more than once how useless he felt, when he saw me running from one thing to the next. He often would try to help, which I never allowed. I didn't want his head to get too big either..and told him I wasn't going to be nice forever, so he better get the hell back to bed, and let me do it!
He was back in school teaching and coaching the following Monday. He was so much stronger than I had ever given him credit for. We have not had so much as a disagreement since his surgery, and there have been many opportunities! We have instead decided not to sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short, and in the end the most important things will be what you've done for the people you love, and the impact that that has had on's simple..

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The New, and Improved Ford cute as ever!

When I was a kid, there were many cars that came and went through my family. My earliest memory was the green pinto that my mom tooled us around in.  What I remember most about this car was how it always seemed to stale, in the middle of downtown. When I was nine(ish), I remember my aunt's Ford Fiesta. It was a turquoise bluish/green, small, and totally adorable. At that time my folks were driving a Ford Econoline van, which was HUGE, you could have fit 3 of the fiesta's in it. This particular aunt was my favorite, and even though she was only a few years younger than my mom, she seemed more like a sister to me.
I remember when she got rid of the car, in favor of a Chevette. It wasn't nearly as cute, and she later ended up regretting it. The fiesta got great gas mileage, almost 40 mpg. Much like the days we live in today, gas prices back then were also a concern. My aunt was a single mom, and needed something reliable, and something economical. She truly found that in the fiesta.
Moving forward almost 30 years, Ford has come out with the new and improved Ford Fiesta. Much like it's precedessor, it's economical, reliable, and adorable. If I wasn't chained to my loser cruiser, at least for another 12 years..then I would buy one of these in a heartbeat..for the mileage, and the dependability that comes with Ford.
Here's a Fiesta from the 80's..

And one from today..I'm not sure which I like better.. ;)

The newer model is a lot more aerodynamic in design, and offers drivers better fuel-efficiency. The older model might offer those of you that great feeling of nostalgia, which is fine, but for those of you who are a fan of the newer models. Then you can go ahead and take a look at your local ford dealership, or at Salt Lake City Ken Garff Ford dealers. Either way you look at it either Fusion is adorable.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Keeping it, not so personal..

I am so glad that once again, the American public has proved it's not just a bunch of Jersey Shore watching, Hollywood obsessed morons, and did the right thing by keeping our current president in office. Before anyone thinks I'm political, let me just say I AM NOT! I will be the first one to avoid talking politics, and the first one to admit that I know very little on the topic. I do, however, feel quite confident that I understand the character of people, the empathy that they either posses, or simply do not.
I saw in Romney, a narcissistic, self serving jackass, only in politics because he needed to prove something to his Daddy. Where I found Obama to be the type of man who first entered politics, not to end up as president one day, but to make a difference, which I believe he has, and is still working's not like he walked into a mess that he could clean up in just one term.
Politics are something that my husband and I rarely discuss. As long as I've known him, he has been very private with who he votes for. Last week after he came back from voting, I asked him the same thing I ask him after every election. "Who'd ya vote for?" And like always, I got "It's personal" He always ends up telling me that he voted for someone, this year he told me that he wrote in Ron Paul. But later he said it was Romney. He's full of shit, and I never believe him. 
Two days before the election, I took advantage of some nice weather and took down the few decorations I  had up for Halloween. This inspired me to start putting up some Christmas ones, anything that gets me out of my house when everyone else is in it, I am all over!  It all sort of evolved into my very own political didn't start out that way, but I decided to go the polar opposite of my husband, and didn't keep it personal, at all!
The lights only remained lit for about 30 minutes, just enough time for my sister to see it, and some random people driving by to get a picture if it. In my opinion, keeping your political opinion "personal" is so old school. Who cares? And jeesh buddy, I'm your WIFE!! There are some things that you should keep personal, such as your social security number..or your vagina! I think he might not be getting too personal with mine anytime soon! ;)

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

You can write an essay too!!

Who doesn't like to win free stuff? I found this blog online recently, and entered to win a Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk. Let's face it, it's a sweet looking car, and I'm pretty sure I would look damn cute in it! Oh, I kid..But honestly,  while I adore my loser cruiser, it's nearing it's 10th year, and recently we had to sink a significant amount of money into it. I have come to grips with the fact that she will not live forever. So, free stuff, please come my way! ;)
The contest details are included here in this link: It's an easy 1000 letter essay, which is about as much as I've written so far in this post. easy peasy lemon squeezy. You have to describe what would make you "Trailhawk Tough" or what HAS made you trailhawk tough.  Again, easy, anything can make you tough. Having 4 kids has made me tough (and mildly insane..but I didn't tell THEM that! ;) So, go on, and enter! If you don't like a chance to win a NEW, free car, then you're a nub. Below the gorgeous jeep, is my essay. In case you need some inspiration! ;)

"If there is anything that makes you tough, it is motherhood. What would make you trailhawk tough? Twins. My husband and I had two beautiful boys, and our family was complete. My 3rd pregnancy was a surprise. Finding out they were twins was a shock, I went into survival mode. Single pregnancies are cake compared to growing two babies at once. Your body is forever changed, and not necessarily in a good way. Ask any mom of twins about her twinskin! If you're lucky, you'll have a smooth pregnancy, maybe you'll enjoy the "glow" that everyone has told you you have, maybe you'll see that glow. I didn't. Then when you've expanded so far that you believe you might split wide open, you'll meet your babies. It will make you tough in a way that you never knew possible. It will challenge you, your family, your relationships. Everything. But if your tough, you'll come out on top. All the sacrifices you make as a mother, the sleepless nights, the many trips to the ER, this is what makes you tough. "

If you are on the market for a new vehicle, and are interested in purchasing a new Jeep SUV. Then you should consider looking at the Reedman Toll Chrysler Inventory, serving Philedelphia, PA    I spent a lot of time browsing their options, and I really liked what they had to show.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Under Our Skin

I have had two tick bites in my life. Both of those ticks carried Lyme disease. Last summer I came down with it, and luckily I had the trademark bulls eye to prove it, since my blood work came back negative. This past July, I came down with the same symptoms again, but had no bulls eye.  The last tick bite I had was in April, so I thought I was in the clear since I hadn't become sick. I didn't know that you can be bit by a Lyme diseased tick, and not get sick from it for several months. I also didn't know that something like 50% of people with Lyme's don't get a bulls eye, and that blood tests are highly unreliable. It was because I knew the symptoms, and knew what to do.
My doctor is not completely with me on my feelings about Lyme disease. She's following the Infectious Disease Society of America's (the IDSA) guidelines, which are highly biased, and quite frankly are making people with Lymes sicker. She agreed however to put me on 2 weeks of the antibiotic doxycycline, and reluctantly agreed to one week more when I asked her to treat me just like she had the last time. I'm not a fan of the antibiotic, it took me a few days of taking it before I could finally hold it down. It's nasty, but untreated Lyme disease is far nastier.
I have a cousin, who is 13 now. 4 years ago, she was bit by a tick at school. The nurse removed it, and told her mother to watch out for the bulls eye. There was no bulls eye, but about 9 months later, she became very sick with flu like symptoms. Her mother had her tested for Lymes, and it came back negative. She took some antibiotics and didn't get better. It wasn't until her mom took her back for more blood work that they discovered Lymes. After visiting one of the only Lyme literate pediatric doctors in the country, she spent a year on IV antibiotics and has been pain free for 2 years. The problem with seeing a Lyme literate doctor, is that your insurance won't cover it, based on the IDSA's guidelines. Lyme is considered treated after 3 weeks of doxycycline. This is true of some cases like mine, but if its left untreated, it is significantly harder to reverse. Did I mention that over half of the doctors on the IDSA board work for the insurance companies? Hardly sounds like a fair match. There is a wonderful documentary that everyone should see. It's called "Under Our Skin" it can be found on Netflix as well as your local library. I believe that one day they are going to find cures for diseases of unknown origin, such as MS, Lou Gehrig's disease and Parkinson's. I also believe that the unknown origin will be untreated Lymes. But that's just my opinion. Go watch the movie and make up your own mind!

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Change Is A Coming..

Soon you'll see different things here on my blog. I was contacted a few weeks ago by a guy named Dicky. Yes, dicky. He works for a marketing company and is representing  a local automotive group. He's offering some local bloggers money for ad placement, customer reviews, and  such on their blogs. Sign me up. Sell me out. Whatever, I need some cash! So, if you see new stuff here, please check it out! The more clicks the better! When I heard from this guy, we scheduled a phone call, twice. He emailed me the day of the call, and said he didn't have time to talk, and would I be available the following day, same time. Sure, because I have nothing else going on. I waited for his call for about an hour, before I said fuck it, I've got shit to do, and just thought he was a flake. Whatever. It was about a week later, that I awoke in the middle of the night (where I do my most logical thinking) and got really pissed, who does this Dicky  think I am? I mean, if you say you're going to call someone, then just fucking call them! So, despite wanting to email him right then and there, I decided to at least wait until the sun had come up. Nothing says crazy bitch better than  sending an email to a total stranger all fuming and pissed, in the middle of the night!
My email was simple, and straightforward. I wrote "Was it something I said? Or wrote? Just curious why you blew me off last week" There. easy peasy lemon squeezy. He responded right away. He was very apologetic, and thought he had sent me an email about rescheduling (which he did not) And he still wanted me to be part of the whole blog rental thing, or whatever it's called. Fine. I emailed him back, apologetic as well..sounding less like a wounded chick waiting for a boy to call her, and more like the witty, mildly insecure girl that I am.
So, in short, I'm hoping to be blogging more,  I'm not sure how it will all pan out. If it'll be worth any of the aggravation of putting myself out there, but I gotta try and do my part..I created a page on facebook for my little blog..feel free to like it, and comment, tell me what you think (unless it's negative, cause then can just keep it to your freakin self!) kid. I kid..I love constructive criticism. really.  My loser cruiser is currently at the shop getting itself a fancy new exhaust, and water pump. Which isn't cheap btw! And I need a purpose, besides being a wife, a mom, a seamstress, and just an overall awesome person..;)

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Under the Lights..

Every year the kids soccer teams get to play a night game, under the lights, in a neighboring town. These games are so fun for the kids and everyone always looks forward to it. I was especially looking forward to it this year, because of being the ass coach and all.
I had gotten a couple emails during the day from parents wanting directions to the field. In an extremely timely fashion, I replied with the address, and an attached map. Yes, you should be impressed, a map for me is a big deal.
 My son and I left before the rest of the family because, you know, I'm the ass coach, and we need to be there either early, or at the very least on time. Imagine my surprise, and baited anxiety, to see an entirely empty field. Immediately, my son starts freaking out..but I quickly calm him down and tell him it's fine. We're the first ones here. We're early!! Something sadly, he's probably never experienced with his mutha before!
So, we get out of the car, and start commenting on how different the field looks. We both agree that they must have moved the goals and the bleachers. Sure. Sounds good. While we waited, I hit the porta potty, which was naturally disgusting, as any little "house" would be that contains random peoples dookeys.
After more waiting, and more wondering, my son says "where's the cemetery that used to be here?" I had no memory of a cemetery, but then again, I have no memory of last week. So, I think he's confused. That must be another field. And then he says "Mom, where are the lights?"  At that point, they were finally going off.  In my head. Shit. We were totally at the wrong field, and now we were late. We jumped back in the loser cruiser, and flew to the other field. We made it before the game started, but not before the rest of my family had been there, and then went out looking for us afraid I may have had car troubles.  And, where was my cell phone? Lost. Only to be found later under a pile of clean clothes on my bed waiting to be folded. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, b/c my husband and I share a cell phone. what is this, 1999?
Anyway, this wasn't the only problem of course. Miraculously, one of the parents ignored my directions and got their own, and  the other parents (the parents of twins, who I adore) showed up 2 minutes after we did. The Dad looked like he had just been to war. With his wife. whoopsie.
The worst part, was that my sister, who had driven right home after work, picked up her 3 kids, got back in her car, and then unbeknownst to her, drove to the wrong field. I borrowed a phone from the other ass coach, but I could not, for the life of me,  remember her number.
I had to leave the field, right at the beginning of the game, and fetch my sister. She was only mildly annoyed, and more relieved that she could park her car, and get her 3 restless kids out of it! I'm not sure why I didn't have a heart attack that night, it wouldn't have surprised me.  We ended up crushing the other team 6-0 and are currently undefeated!  There is another game, at a different school this season, but I'm pretty sure no one will be asking me how to get there! Maybe there is an upside to my stupidity!

I love my iPhone!!!

I never knew how badly I wanted an iPhone until I was given one. Yes, GIVEN one. I had posted random shit about  my crusty old iPod touch on Facebook. About how it wouldn't take a charge and that I had been borrowing  my kids, which was a total pain in the ass for everyone.
So, imagine my delight when a friend asked me if I was still looking for an iPod, and offered me her old iPhone because her husband was passing down his 4G to make room for his new iPhone 5. Well hells yes!!  I had no idea what the differences would be, since I'd never had anything but my first generation piece of shit. Obviously there's a huge difference! There's a camera, that takes video too. I could also download an app to play solitaire! Something the old crusty one could no longer support (solitaire!! That's how OLD it was)
When I asked my friend what she wanted for it she simply replied "zero dollars."  I have the best friends, I really do. Of course I couldn't just take this from her without something in return, that's just bad juju, so I brought her a bag I had made. One of the first bags ever stitched, and one that I thought went very well with her.
I hope she's getting some use out of it, I am getting a TON of use out of my new (very gently used) iphone, minus the phone part because I still haven't convinced my husband that we should get rid of my other phone, and use this instead (it's always about, stupid fucking money).
Anyway, if my friend ever reads this, I just want to say thank you again! I am beyond excited about it, and love it! You da best!! xo

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Love Songs.. or not

My husband called me from work the other morning because he found a mixed cd in his car that someone had burned. Since I occasionally drive his car, he wanted to know if it was mine. I told him it wasn't. I haven't listened to a cd in ages, hello? It's 2012!!  Soon after, I received this email from him:

upon further listening they are all love songs!
Something you want to tell me!

Ha! I would be so flattered if someone made me a mixed cd of love songs! I was a tiny bit flattered that my hubs actually was a little jealous. Contrary to his usual emotion, which is the equivalence of a cardboard box, this was highly unlike him. And I liked it! ;) This was my response: in 2 parts.

part 1
ahaha.. are you serious??
they're in YOUR car! maybe you have a secret admirer??

part 2
btw, I love that you're a little jealous!!
His response, and our last email:

No, I wasn't serious. Have a good day

Back in the cardboard box. That was quick. He later thought that maybe it belonged to the previous owner (he's only had the car a few months..) Maybe? ah der. And I wonder how I stand upright! ;)

Friday, September 21, 2012

more evidence that I'm a natural blond..

I went to the dollar store today to get some new glasses for my kitchen. I spare no expense when it comes to my home, clearly! The last ones I got were from Ikea, and they are nasty! No matter how many times I wash them, by hand or in the dishwasher, they always come out covered in a funky residue.  We have hard water. Hahd watah!  It's gross, and I would like to offer someone a glass of water (from our bubbler, duh), and not be horrified when I do.
So, I grabbed 10 of their best dollar glasses, a new pair of dollar sunglasses (since I had run over my other pair, mowing the lawn last week.) and cruised on over to the checkout, as I was in a hurry. The cashier, who looked about 13 but was most likely in her 30's, and whom did not have one strand of blond hair on her head,  asked me if I wanted to carry my glasses out. I just looked at her, and then said  "Um,  where would I put them?" She said I could put them in my bag.. to which I said "um..I don't think I can fit those in my bag..could you put them into one of those bags?" I asked, pointing to the bagging station in front of her. It was all very bizarre, and we were both awkward, and uncomfortable with the entire transaction. I was happy as hell to get out of there!
It wasn't until I was in my car, and the sun was blaring in my eyes, that I realized I had other glasses in my basket. SUN ones. She had asked me, or had to meant to ask me if I wanted to carry out my sunglasses  (although, the word "sun" never left her lips). Which, BTW, is a very important word in a situation where you are buying actual drinking glasses 10-1 over a pair of sunglasses! It's not that hard. jeesh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Super duper dumb ass.

We do our grocery shopping every Sunday. This is a chore that my husband and I equally despise, and in order to make it fair, we alternate weekly. This Sunday, it was my husbands turn. Normally, when it's his turn, he gets up early, gives me about 2 minutes to get a list ready, and then he's off. I knew he would LOVE the list I made this week, especially when I woke up this morning and realized that Aunt flo had paid me a visit over night.
I've never understood what the big deal is when you ask a guy to buy you tampons, or other feminine products. It's not like the cashier is going to think that you're buying them for yourself. Try being a lady and going to the drug store, with only one reason.  Then try waiting patiently in line with your little box of super tampons (for the super time you're going to have that week) tucked under your arm, only to be waited on by the one cute guy who works there. He knows exactly what you've got going on down there.. it's uncomfortable, and awkward. It's different when you're doing your weekly shopping at the grocery store, and mixed in with all the crap you're buying, is a box of tampons. Oh, and it's also different if you happen to have a penis. No one is going to wonder if your uterus is doing it's monthly house cleaning.
I made my list this morning, here's part of it:
I thought he'd get a kick out it..and I also thought he'd come home with the right stuff.. but do you know what he came home with? Pads..Maxi Pads, as he later put it. When I was unloading the groceries, and asked "what's this?" He said "tampons, super ones" Um, no.. and then he realizes that he's in fact brought me home pads. Super ones. great! I'm sure he won't mind going back and getting me the right ones.. just as sure as I am that monkey are gonna come flying out of my ass!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Oral bullshit.

I brought my girls to the dentist this morning. They handled it like troopers, and naturally wouldn't speak to anyone who spoke to them. They are such charmers that way!
The dentist happens to be a place I dread. Despite my husband having excellent medical benefits, they offer no dental for his family. This sucks, as you can imagine. Having 4 kids, and almost a hundred teeth between them, it can get costly. We go to a facility that offers financial assistance, which we have always taken advantage of. Every year though, they want you to re-fill out all the forms, and when I say ALL the forms, I mean like about 30! I get it, they want to make sure we qualify. But this year, with my best effort put forth, I had missed a few of the forms they needed, and had sent them a few they didn't. This happened to coincide with us refinancing our mortgage, and the copies got mixed up. Essentially, we were denied coverage.  This of course is after all of them had had their cleanings, and xrays and sealants and so on. I had explained the mix up, and once I finally got all the shit taken care of, and every last bit of correct financial information they needed, we were approved. Unfortunately, it wasn't retro active, and now we are stuck with almost a grand to pay back. ugh. The worst part, is that the dentist is affiliated with the hospital I work at, you would have thought they could have cut me some slack..they know what they're paying me! jeesh..
Anyway, the point of this particular post was that I decided today, one thing worst than the dentist themselves, is the hygienist. Those folks know how to lay it on thick..the guilt, the "are you helping them floss?"  "You gotta get those back ones really good, I saw some plaque" Lord have mercy! I mean really, they have no cavities, and my husband and I have been brushing the girls teeth (because we were told to). I've been there before and have heard the hygienist actually argue with a parent about the kid flossing, saying that he couldn't have been doing it, even though she swore he had. It's high stress for me, and I hate it. I sat there quietly playing solitaire on my son's ipod (because my old crusty cracked one finally stopped taking a charge) and only spoke when spoken to, pretty mature don't ya think?  Thank goodness it's only twice a year! And if I plan it right, it's in the summer, and my husband will take them. He's in charge of their teeth, and that is just the way I like it!

My thoughts on Divorce..

I realized that in my last post, I mentioned that my children have never felt the pain of divorce. I started thinking about my own parents divorce when I was 7. It sucked. There is no other way to describe it, just sucky suckage. But as I grew older, I realized that my folks weren't compatible as a couple. There were bright sides to their split. No  more fighting, well, except for all the bickering we couldn't possibly avoid, about child support and visits. It was not amicable. My dad left us for another woman. A woman with 2 young children, whom I loathed, but only because they got my dad, and I didn't.
I believe now, that if they had handled their divorce differently, that I would be different. Not that I want to be, because quite frankly, I'm pretty frickin awesome ;) (you don't really think I believe that do you? some days I do, some days I don't) If I had felt like it wasn't my fault, and if it hadn't been so crushing to my self esteem, I certainly would have made better choices in my life, even though I wouldn't choose my life to be any different. It gave me a thick, impenetrable skin and some quick wit, sarcastic attitude, and a need to be loved..which almost ruined me in my teens.
I have friends who are going through break ups right now. The good thing about these people, is that they are handling it like grown ups. They are thinking about their children, more than themselves. I know that parents did the best they could with what they had. My mom was literally devastated, and my sisters and I became her rock. It was a lot to take on at our young age. I often think back about the Saturday morning that my dad left, and wish I could go back, and tell my  mom that it would be ok, and that contrary to what she was saying, this was NOT what men do. They don't always leave, sometimes they stay, despite insecurities and triggers that I haven't understood until recently. There are better reasons to divorce, than to stay together. Some people are broken. Quite literally, inside and out. The only way to fix that relationship, is to dissolve it. Staying married for the kids sake is bullshit. The turmoil that they will suffer by being raised by two unhappy people is far more damaging than a divorce. That is just my opinion, which happens to be exactly right! ;) I can't help it if I know everything! Just ask my husband, it's his favorite part about me!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


My Saturdays throughout the fall are going to be spent on the soccer field. My daughters are playing for the first time this year. It's really cute to see little kids play, but it's a nice change to watch, and help coach the older kids. There is no yelling at the first graders that they've got a man on, or to get back in position. It's all sprinkled with sugar and lollipops, know what I mean?
I knew my girls would be a bit intimidated by the whole experience. The reason I didn't sign them up last year during Kindergarten, was because I knew they would never have gotten on the field, and would have spent the entire 1.5 hours in my lap. That, and the fact that it started at 8 am. No thanks. My more reserved daughter, got out there and gave it her all. My youngest son was nothing but annoyed because she wasn't running enough.. my other daughter was a force to be reckoned with during their practice. She was all over the field, running her little butt off. However, that all changed when they started their little game with another team. She came running off the field, crying that she wanted to go home, and never wanted to come back.  She was a mess, and would not spill the beans about why she was so upset. She filled me in that night before bed that she was nervous when all the other parents were there to watch. She didn't realize apparently, that we were already watching. She's agreed to go back next week, thank's non refundable you know! ;) And there's no discount for large families..I was a bit surprised by that. School pictures give you a break, why shouldn't school sports.. whatever, it was my choice to have such a big family (well, sort of ;)
I had to leave my daughters game to get to another field for my sons game. I met the head coach when I got there, he knew just who I was as I walked up to him. Must have been the heads up he got from his wife who had added me to Linkedin network! He claims he knew I wasn't a guy when I responded to his email offering to do the communication for the team! Dead giveaway! We passed out jerseys, did some stretching, some drills, and had an informal scrimmage with another team. Man for man, I think my son's team was better.  The other team had some great kids on it, but they also had a couple of kids who thought they were at a dance class because they keep doing these high kicks. Very graceful on the soccer field let me tell you! Until one of the kids got a cleat right between the eyes.. and you know that that kid was MINE! Poor boy, he's got a nice shiner in the shape of someones shoe, thankfully the swelling on the bridge of his nose has gone down. We lost that scrimmage, but my kid was the only one who scored a goal for the team. Cause he's awesome! Well, he is! ;) Two minutes before the game ended, we had another injury, and yup, you guessed it.. My son came limping off the field, fighting back the tears. He got his big toe stepped on. Pretty sure by the color it's changing, that his nail is going to fall off. I'm not sure, but I might have subconsciously agreed to coach so that I will be there with him when the ambulance is eventually called.. ugh..if anyone is going to get hurt, it will be him!

Monday, September 10, 2012


I have said this before, and I will probably say it til I die, or til I move away from my home state (which will never ever happen) but fall is my least favorite season. The crisp air, and the changing leaves only put me in a foul mood. Forever, I've been trying to change my outlook on fall. I'll tell myself how great it will be to wear my favorite jeans, or my most comfy sweaters. Sometimes that works, but not this year. I've been struggling with the fact that all my kids, are now in school full time. I've been waiting for this, forever. Now that it's here, I find myself wondering "now what?" I can only justify staying home until my sisters boys are in school full time as well, and even with their pre school schedule, I still feel a bit of guilt for not being gainfully employed outside of the home. That thought, the thought of having some sort of 9-5 job makes me shudder. I am pretty sure I will die if I have to work in an office somewhere..yup, death is the only outcome of that scenario.
I know this is annoying to my husband, as he is constantly worried about money, and our lack there of. But if he had to put a price tag on my job as a mother, for the past 12 years, it would be a figure that would most likely shock him. Money aside, staying home with my kids has been something that I am hoping will have an impact on their lives, well into adulthood. A stability that one can only understand if you've never lacked it.  I've been lucky to get to be home with them. I've made sacrifices that go unnoticed, and being a mom is a thankless position. No one ever gives you a raise, or even a pat on the back. Not once have I heard, "good job with the kids today" or "don't know what we'd do without you here" But I haven't done it for the praise, and I certainly haven't done it for the pay. I have done it because, 1.) I could, and 2.) because I never had that growing up. I never came home after school to my mom, waiting for me, wondering how my day was.  When I wasn't at my grandmother's, then I was home with my sisters and my asshole brother.  My mom had to work, and she worked a lot. My childhood was far different than the one I am giving my own children. They have not felt the pain of divorce, or the havoc it reeks on your self esteem.  They haven't wondered if we'll be moving again soon, or if they'll see their dad again. They are happy kids, and well adjusted. Sometimes I have to remind them of how good they've got it. When we were camping this summer I sorta kinda lost my shit when the 3 youngest ones were having meltdowns because our computer had died, and they weren't going to be able to watch a movie.  (yes, we really rough it when we go camping!) I finally broke down, and told them that it was hardly the end of the world, and that people have had harder things in life to go through.  I told them that when I was their age, my parents had divorced, we had moved 5 times, and I barely got to see my dad. So, if they thought that the computer dying was the worst thing that could happen, then they had better think again. This outburst of mine had been a long time coming.  I ended it with tears streaming down my face, looking weak and foolish. My 9 year old son didn't say a word, he just stretched out his arms to hug me. It was a sweet gesture, and he hugged me tight. I felt awful after that, using my own childhood as a means to parent them, but then I thought of how important it was that they understood my perspective, and maybe gain some of their own, and really, if I've learned anything about being a parent, it's about taking what you've been given, and give them 10 times more. That's how it is for me anyway.
So, back to fall..and what I'm gonna do about not loathing it so much.. I'm going to become more involved in my community. Coaching my son's soccer team is a start to that. I'm going to promote my bag business more..remember that?   I'm going to suck it up, go back on my prozac (looks like I picked the wrong season to stop taking that!!) And I'm going to keep it in perspective, because that my bitches, is EVERYTHING! xo

Friday, September 07, 2012

I must be insane..

3 of my 4 kids are playing soccer this year. The girls will be on an all girls 1st and 2nd grade team, and my youngest son is on a co-ed 3rd and 4th grade team, which personally, I find a bit strange considering that there is only one girl on his team..but whatev's, it's not like I'm the coach or anything... but I am one of the assistant coaches. wtf, right? This thought has been running through my mind since I reluctantly agreed to help out. I've never coached anything before, and the idea sorta kinda scares me a bit. I'll be helping out on my son's team, and surprisingly, he's pretty excited about it. No doubt because he knows I'm awesome! yea, right.
My husband has already made it clear that he wants no part of it. Which is fine, I really don't need him to be a part of it. I would only like pointers, since he coaches soccer at the school he teaches at. And this, by the way, was the reason he didn't want anything to do with it, because he already does it. Fine.
So, there's a head coach, and two assistants. I happen to be the one assistant with a vagina. Unbenounced to the head coach that I was in fact sporting a va-jay-jay,  he sent me and the other guy an email that started with "Gents". I couldn't correct him. I should have, but I couldn't. I'm waiting til I meet him tomorrow. I don't blame him for assuming I'm a guy, that happens to me all the time. The Navy and the Army were in hot pursuit of me during my senior year in high school, and my name was the reason I didn't get on campus housing in college because they thought I was a guy (apparently, registering late back in the 90's meant ladies first, and since it was clear I was NO was a room in a boarding house, whatev's, I never could have lived with all those girls! yikes!)

I'm looking forward to getting to see my son up close, and be a part of something that I've always loved.. I miss soccer. I used to be really good at it. And I'm gonna be really pissed if I can't play in the parents vs. kids game at the end of the year.. here's a pic or two of me kicking some 8 year old ass last year!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Full Time..

It's official.. I now have 4 kids in school, full time. Dang. It's bitter sweet..but  mostly sweet (shh, don't tell them, k?)
It doesn't mean, however, that I am alone. I am still watching my sisters kids. Her boys won't be in kindergarten until next fall, but they will be attending pre school 4 days a week. From 11-2. It'll be up to my mom and I to transport them to and fro their bus stop 20 minutes away. Am I looking forward to this? No. Why am I doing it? Because I'm a sucker for my sister, that's why.  ;)
I spent yesterday trying to find the floor in my girls room. It took most of the day, but was well worth it. We spent the day before that school shopping. That was awesome, like a pap smear is awesome, or a root canal. Thankfully, my girls only required a few things, crayons, glue sticks and other cheap items. My oldest son, who is now in the 7th grade (holy shite!!) went with a list of school supplies longer than the one he used to mail to Santa. When I was in school, back to school shopping was all about the clothes. Fresh, new, name brand clothes that I wasn't allowed to wear until school started. He only wanted new sneakers and a couple of t shirts. He's a no nonsense kind of kid, and I adore him for that.  He was so excited to get back to school, and back to learning. He's something else that kid. I'm not sure where he gets his love for learning, but I am not questioning it, I am just going with it. My youngest son who started 4th grade this morning, was begging me to home school him. If I thought I could do it, I would..however, I can completely picture the scenario in my head.. "mom, I don't wanna work today".. "yea, me neither..let's get lunch!" He would learn as much as he claims he needs to learn...which apparently is just reading. What else could he possibly need in life besides reading? Why does he need to know math, or science? He won't need it when he's a professional baseball player. It's hard for me not to agree with him, and even harder to hear, because I had the same exact attitude when I was his age. It's my mission this year to get him into learning, and to be excited about it. It's probably a mission I will totally fuck up, but I'm gonna give it my best college drop out shot!
Last night, as I was getting my girls ready for bed, one of them started crying. She didn't want to go to school. She was scared. Meanwhile, her sisters sitting on the bed saying "I can't wait to go to school" which only makes the other one cry harder. Last year, on the first morning of kindergarten, she woke up puking. Nerves. This morning, when they got up, and had breakfast, the puker goes "should I get dressed now?" All excited.. "um, sure" And it went on smoothly like that until the bus came. Unbelievable.
So, here I am, with my sister's 3 kids (her daughter won't start 2nd grade til Wednesday). It's weird. Our summer was spent with all 7 of our kids at my house, playing, fighting, swimming, more fighting, more swimming..making me crazy..but for the most part, creating memories that they will hopefully carry with them long into adulthood. The summers they played at Camp Fernandes, will hopefully be some of the best they have!

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Mumford and Sons..

This past weekend, I got to see my favorite band..ever, my boys.. Mumford and Sons. It was their 3rd time in the northeast, and my 3rd time seeing them. The first time I saw them, they were unknown. That was the only reason I got to meet them and why they got a kick out of me, their self professed number one fan. They were on the verge of becoming huge, which is what I told them..amongst other things that honestly, I don't quite remember.. I was as sauced as sauced gets, and besides mentioning the banjo player's "schlong" (yup, that's what I called it) in a photo from their website, and telling them that their music makes me cry, the rest is a blur.
The second time I saw them was at a slightly larger venue, only 6 months later. The show was better than the first and the energy from the crowd to the band, and back was intense. They were gaining ground, and clearly the majority of the audience had been listening to their album and knew they wouldn't see this band at a venue like that again.
When I heard they would back in New England again, I promptly got on line the morning the tickets went on sale and quickly grabbed two..shortly before they sold out. They were touring with several other bands, in a show called Gentlemen of the Road. It was a beautiful day in Portland, a city I love. They played at the Eastern Promenade, an outside venue on Casco Bay. The backdrop was gorgeous, and despite the hot August day, the breeze off the ocean cooled us all down. There were about 15,000 people there..about 14,998 more people than I would have preferred, but as usual, they played an amazing set and the crowd adored them, not as much as me..but whatever, I couldn't help but feel the love everyone had for them, and I understood it.
I ran into an old college roommate while I was there, and his wife. That was a highlight. A low light would have been running into a douchebag while waiting to pee in one of the many port a potties (which btw, were located clear across the park, far far away from the "beer gardens", on top of a huge hill, that could have been planned out better, but whatev's). Anyway, while waiting in line, this dumb, young douche thought it would be funny to "stamp" girls in line. There were girls all around me with stamps on their arms.. I have no idea what the stamp was, something to do with the band, but for whatever reason, this assbag stood next to me, and stamped my cheek, which I promptly, unintentionally, smeared off because I had no idea what he had just done. I did get him back though..I watched to see which one of the several dozen port a potties he went into, then locked him in it with a twist tie that had been left behind to secure the doors later when they were transported away. I got into one a couple down from him, and then listened to him struggle to get out. He did. But it wasn't easy, and I'm pretty sure one of his buddies had to help him. Yes, I can be a vindictive bitch. But I thought it was funny..what a dub.
I can't wait to see them again, and to get their highly anticipated (at least by me) new album that comes out Sept. 24th. I'm happy for their success, I really am. They deserve it. But sometimes I'm not a fan of sharing..yes, I know I sound like a 3 year old..but I can't help it. At least I still have my dreams, in which they visit me often..and are always doing a private show for me. Sometimes I am the luckiest girl around!! ;)
This is the picture I had seen on their blog, and brought up to Winston "Country" Marshall.. he blamed it on lighting, and I told him that I appreciated his modesty. jeesh.. too bad I had forgotten about that part of our conversation!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

What's that smell??

I have been asked by Better Homes and Gardens to come up with a scent that best represents my home state of New Hampshire. They are teaming up with Walmart, to promote their line of wax cubes, and for whatever reason, (most likely because if you google anything about NH blogs, mine isn't too far down the list!) however, ignoring that fact, they have asked me to be the smell ambassador.. so to speak. I was given 2 days notice, and $35 in Walmart gift cards, to purchase some of their scented wax cubes and a wax warmer. It was my job to combined and concoct the perfect smell for State #9.
This was very flattering to me, as I haven't done much with my poor pathetic blog lately, but sure, why not! I trucked on down to the Walmaht,  (one of my most favorite stores) and picked up a bunch of wax cubes, and a candle warmer.
It was a challenge coming up with what NH smells like. I mean, right now, when I go outside, it smells like shit. Big piles of freshly thrown down cow shit. It's disgusting, and I certainly wouldn't buy any sort of wax cube that replicated that smell. So, I took to facebook, and asked for some creative help from some of the 350+ "friends" that I have. The response was overwhelming, and hysterical. And pretty much right on. My favorites included the summertime aroma of paving, called "traffic" or a tax free shopping center which usually smells like cigarettes and b.o. The suggestions were endless! And mostly along those lines..
I decided to try and represent the best NH has to offer. I was surprised at how much our little state has, it's not often I think about it, and I guess living here all my life, has made me take it for granite (no pun intended btw). So, we have beaches (only 13 miles of it, but whatev's, the people from Massivetwoshits seem to love it anyway!) We have mountains, with some of the best skiing, snowboarding and hiking in the Northeast. We have lakes, gorgeous lakes. And we have leaves. Leaves that every fall change a million different colors and attract a million different people. There is quite a plethora of touristy things to do. But again, I'm coming up with a smell, right? Well, here's my brilliant idea "The Four Seasons Of NH". It's a layered waxed cube, with the first layer representing the winter in NH "Snowy Evergreen Forest", the second paying homage to the spring, and our lovely state flower "French Lilac". The third for our teeny weeny little coastline "Ocean Flowers" and finally the 4th layer, and my least favorite season-Fall with "Warm Autumn Welcome".
I mixed this up, and it actually smells really good. It goes from cold winter, to spring, to our quick summer, and topped off by the spicy smell of fall.
So, all you douches reading this, better head over to facebook and "like" Better Homes and Gardens, and vote for me! Did I mention the prize? You didn't think I was doing this for nothing did ya? The grand prize winner, the blogger that gets the most votes, gets an all expense paid trip to visit the Better Homes and Gardens Headquarters..located in lovely Iowa. A state I have always wanted to visit.. yup, a-ha, that's right.
And just so you know, if you go and vote for NH, you will be entered in to win your very own wax warmer, and 6 wax cubes! Go on now, what are you waiting for?? go here, and simply click on the sweepstakes tab, and find the tiny little state of NH, and VOTE!

Friday, July 20, 2012


I forgot to post this back on June 12th..when I actually did turn 40.. oh well, better late than never!

I am 40 today. FORTY! WTF? I am a mix of emotions right now, and honestly, I didn't think I'd give a shit. But as I awoke this morning, from one of the best dreams I have had in ages, I started thinking of that number. 40! I have never been one of those women who lie about their age, and I never understood why anyone would. but right now, I kinda get it. I was 39 yesterday, and today, I'm 40!  How did I get to be this old, this quickly? I know that 40 isn't really that old, and according to the cashier at walmart who carded me on Friday for my Longhammers, I don't look 40.. I'm not even sure what that is supposed to look like, but I guess, not me! When I was in my 20's, long before I had any children and when my life to that point had dragged on at a snail pace, I thought that people in their 30's were pathetic, and people in their 40's were washed up. Of course I have gained much wisdom since then, and I understand the reason my life seems to be flying by at an alarming rate, is because I am so busy. I don't spend my free time wondering what to do with myself like I did before I had kids. In fact, there is no free time. I know there should be, and one day there will be, but for now, it's not about me, it's about my kids. When you have children, you are no longer living for yourself. It's all about them. As it should be.
Besides waking from a most wonderful dream, about my most favorite band, the first day in my 40th year took a drastic turn into suckville. My husband left for work, said goodbye, and completely forgot that it was my birthday. To his credit, he had thrown me a surprise birthday party the Saturday before, so he was pretty much "over" my birthday. Still, it stung and the only thing that made me feel better was the fact that I knew he was going to feel like shit when he remembered, and the euphoria I was still experiencing from my most wonderful dream, in which my boys gave me a private show! Fantastic.
My day proceeded on with my girls, who had finished their first year of Kindergarten the day before. Summer was starting. My youngest son and his entire grade, were heading over to the park across the street from us, so we decided to join them, and try to shake off the suckiness that had started to settle. I got to watch my son play baseball with his classmates (he's an amazing baseball player btw, really!) And I got to chat with one of my favorite mom's from the school.  It wasn't long before my girls were tired of being at the park, and they wanted to go home, and when they're ready, they're ready. We headed and I did my normal getting home stuff..checking my email, and checking the caller ID. I saw that my mom had called. She was at my sister's house watching her boys for the day..a bit of a birthday gift to me! Her message sounded weird. She sounded weird. "ok, just give me a call when you get a chance" I called her right back, and she's now sounding really weird. She wants to know if I can come and get her. She's been having some vision problems, and is really dizzy. She would drive herself home, but the vision thing.. She thinks she'll be fine if she can just lay down. I managed to get the girls in the car, grab car seats for the boys, and get to my sisters in record time. When I arrive, she's outside, waiting. She somewhat stumbles to the car, I grab the boys, and I have no doubt that part of this day is going to be spent in the ER. After making a couple of phone calls, my sister meets me at the hospital, her husband picks up the boys, and my mother is admitted for having a stroke. I don't want to sound like this is all about me, but jesus! A stroke? On my 40th..ughhhh.... ok, so she ends up being just fine. They keep her for a few days, and come to find out, the reason she went all strokey was because she hadn't taken her blood thinners for a few days..because she had no money for the meds. Both my sister and I have told her it's cheaper for us to buy her prescriptions than it is for us to bury her! But she feels bad, and I get it, but then again, I don't! I have told her, more than once that I'm not interested in finding her dead. I'm just not. I know that most likely I will, because she lives with me, but finding her dead because she's too proud, or whatever, to ask for help, is just something I'd rather not live with forever. ya know?
Back to me now.. and my husband..who came home to hear about my mother being in the hospital, still not remembering that it was my birthday. It wasn't until my nephew came over to cook dinner for me, when he remembered. Yes, he felt horrible, and no, it didn't make me feel any better.  The one thing I wanted for my birthday, besides a party, was an ipad, or a new ipod (I knew the ipad wasn't gonna happen, but I thought for sure he would replace my old crusty cracked 1st generation ipod with a nice new shiny one). However, it turns out, that the party was my present. That was the straw that broke this 40 year olds back.  I tried acting like it didn't bother me that there was no gift. I didn't want to sound like an ingrate. I knew it was a lot of work for him to throw me a party, and I was so happy that he did. But he knows me well, and despite me begging him to stop asking me what was wrong, I had to tell him.. he felt horrible again. This was not my intent. It really wasn't. If I hadn't had such a lousy day, with my mom having a stroke and all, I probably would have been fine. That was however, just how the fucking forty year old cookie crumbled.
I went to bed that night, tired..and hoped that maybe I would have that dream again..but I didn't. I did however sleep straight through the night, even when my girls climbed into my bed and took their assumed positions, one on each side of me. I have no doubt that the rest of my 40th year will be better than the first. I always set the bar of expectations pretty low, which I gotta say, is genius. It leaves very little room for disappointment! It would appear that even though I'm washed up, I'm still pretty fahkin smaht! ;)

Saturday, June 30, 2012

My Twin Story on Video.. for those of you who don't get it! ;)

I don't know what else to do to try to capitalize on my twin story.. some people get it, some people don't. I tried to get a "grant" from an organization that gives money to twins who would like to travel to Twinsburg Ohio for their annual twin festival, but can't come up with the funds. I sent a  letter, a picture, and heard NOTHING. wtf? whatever.. I decided after that that I probably wouldn't want to go to what I have called a freak show before.. we're not those creepy twins..but our story is fucking cool.. so, I made this video and sent it to Ellen an attempt to try and win tickets to her 12 days show (this would include airfare and hotel accommodations) if nothing comes of this, then I am done, and I will take my twinness to the grave.. I am however, quite excited about how easy it was to make this video..who knew? it's rough, and clearly my first, but I couldn't get over how simple it was!

Sunday, May 13, 2012


Today was Mother's Day. My girls made me gifts all week, mostly drawings and cards. They had hidden them all over the house, but most of them were in my bedroom. Two were stuffed in my pillow case, and two more were in my nightstand. They spent a week freaking out if I went near their hiding spots, and you would think that I would have noticed the one under the pillow, but I did not.
Not only was it Mother's Day, but 9 years ago today, my youngest son was born. He was 2 days late from the Mothers Day due date I had been given. Unlike the 13 hour labor I had with my first, he was a solid 21 hours of intense labor, 2 failed epidurals, and an early morning birth assisted by the vacuum. He was a champ from the beginning. He was out of the womb for less than 5 minutes, and started nursing immediately.  My first son took a couple of weeks to get the nursing thing down, so this was already a triumphant beginning. My husband spent the night at home with our older son, and I was left to tend for number two. I was already for the nurses to bring him to the nursery, and to get some sleep. Unlike with my first son who I couldn't bare to let be away from my side for one second, I gave in to the reality that if I wanted sleep, this would be the only place I would get it. It was roughly a half hour later that I heard a baby screaming down the hall...and I knew. It was mine. I spent most of the night walking around the hospital room trying to calm him down, and trying not to bleed my eyes dry from all of the crying I was doing. The first night home from the hospital, he cried from 10pm to 1am. He was a challenge to say the least.
But here we are, 9 years later, there has been plenty of drama, lots of endless searching many trips to the ER and to Boston Children's hospital.. this boy has kept me on my toes. He has grown into such a nice, sweet considerate boy. At his recent parent/teacher conference (which I coincidentally showed up for a day late).. His teacher told me that he was really going to miss him next year. Pride is an understatement. I love that boy for so many reasons..for making me a calmer, more patient person. For his sense of humor and his quick wit (which he totally gets from me of course!) For all the times he's done thoughtful, kind things for no bringing his dad a blanket every night before he goes to sleep on the couch (yup, we're still rolling like that, so shut up). He's an amazing kid. I am one lucky mama!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

My great grandmother

I had the strangest dream last night about my great grandmother. We called her Memere (pronounced mem-may). She was 100 when she died. I was only 19. She lived with my grandmother who was my most favorite person in the world. In fact, she still is. She's the one that the medium said walked with me, I totally believe she does and it gives me such a huge sense of peace. Anyway, we're not talking about my grammie, but her mother in law, Memere.
Memere was 80 when my sister and I were born. There's a picture of us with Memere when we were about 2. We were outside, something I never saw her do, or at least when I was old enough to remember it. My sister and I were in our diapers, and a small plastic pool was in the background. Memere was sitting in an aluminum lawn chair, and we're on either side, leaning in.  I am sure that she must have been propped up out there so that my grandfather (her son) could get a picture of the toe headed twins, with their great grandmother.
She used a walker, and walked from her chair in the living room, to the bathroom, back to her chair, which is where she sat, pretty much for 2 decades.  My sister and I spent A LOT of time at my gram's house. Memere had lived with my grandparents for most of her life, and my grandmother did everything for her. She had a commode (her "potty") that she used every night, and that my grandmother cleaned every morning. I hated that thing! My gram would come through the living room with it and we would all hold our breath. There are certain smells that are so bad and so foul, that they leave a memory with you. You can actually smell them again just by imagining it. That shit bucket is one of those smells.  
In my dream last night, I was at my grandmother's house. I dream a lot about that house, and particularly of my grandmother. But last night, for the first time in maybe ever, I dreamt about Memere. Her bedroom was off of the living room. It was tiny. However, it seemed appropriate for a woman who was so small and frail. She needed very little,  she had a twin bed, a bureau, a nightstand, pictures of Jesus everywhere, holy water, and of course, her shit bucket.  The house was not as it usually is. My grandmother wasn't there, and it was cold and gray. Completely dreary. I was alone at this point, walking through the house looking for someone, for anyone really, and it occurred to me that we had forgotten about Memere. I ran to her room and flew the door open. I found her there, looking like her brain had taken a nap,  and oddly, covered in her own feces. She told me that the potty hadn't been emptied in ages and that I had better take care of it. It was overflowing and there was shit everywhere..ironically, it didn't smell. The nice minister type priest dude (who apparently I was having an "emotional affair" with, but were going to take it up a notch and cuddle)   picks up the shit bucket, covered in pooh, and all I can think is  "dude, we are not cuddling now" and then Memere starts flinging pooh at us..
That's pretty much the bulk of the dream..with Memere appearing out of nowhere throwing huge pieces of shit at anyone, and everyone. She was apparently pretty pissed that we forgot her. Maybe she "walks" with me too..although, if she did, I'm pretty sure I could smell her a mile away!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


It's funny when someone falls right? I don't care if it's me, or you, or anyone, it's just fricking funny! My kids, and my husband as well, think I'm insane and sadistic for finding this amusing. When my mom fell a few years back when she was working at the homedepot, I begged her to try to get the surveillance video..she got caught up in some netting in the garden center and landed on her face. Literally. She broke her nose, her finger (which required pinning) and her collarbone. Yet still, I was dying to see it.
There are some falls though, that aren't funny. Like the one my daughter took down our basement stairs, while I was right behind her. Seeing her body contort, and flip down the stairs is not something any parent should have to witness. Thankfully she was ok, but I still have to live with that vision. Well, I gave the kids bus driver a similar vision this past winter. Our driveway was covered in black ice, and my daughter (the same one that did the flip down our stairs) refused to move because she was afraid to fall. I got to her just in time for the bus to round the corner, take two steps, and then proceed to loose our footing, and we both went down. Hard. My poor daughter, I totally landed on her, and she came up crying. She was ok, but for a moment there, I thought I may have broken her leg. Our bus driver, who I absolutely love, was horrified. He had of course seen the whole thing. He waited to make sure we were ok, my kids got on the bus, including the one I almost squished, and off they went. It was about an hour later, my mom came upstairs to ask me who was salting the driveway. It was my 75 year old bus driver. He had gone to Lowe's after dropping off the kids, and got a bag of salt for me. I will either have to sleep with this man, or at the very least get him a gift card. I'll probably just get him the gift card!
My mom is the master of falling. Last week she was at her mechanics, and while getting out of her car, she dropped her beloved chap stick. She reached under the seat (that she was still sitting in, with the door open) to reach her lip smacker, lost her balance and fell out of the car. Unfortunately for her, she got her legs stuck in the car, and couldn't get up. Thankfully there were witnesses, and someone helped her get up.
On the heels of this fall, she was sitting on her bed with her dog, removing a tick when she lost her balance, and began to fall. In an attempt to catch herself, she tried to grab onto her nightstand. The way she was positioned only made her left arm perform a complete sweep of the nightstand knocking down all it's contents, and then fall, even more awkwardly to the floor. You can laugh... I did, and someday,  in roughly 4-6 weeks, when her sternum fracture heals, she's going to find it just as amusing as the rest of us!  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Week That Tried To Kill Me...

My girls have been sick this week..well, at least one of them has been, and the other is faking a stomach ache so that she doesn't have to go to school without her sister. She is terrified of being there without her sister. I don't blame her, and I remember what it felt like when I had to go to school for the first time without my twin. My girl who really is sick, did the same thing when the faker was sick, except that on day number 2, and after I told her what it was like for me, she decided to try it. She claimed it was the best day after. No one confused her with anyone!
It doesn't work like that for the faker. She's one of my more sensitive children (they are all sensitive, but this one, and my youngest son take the cake for drama..) She couldn't bear the thought of her sister and I (her two most favorite people in the entire world) carrying on a day without her..what would we do? and what would she miss..she's not quite there yet. They are however, both going tomorrow, come hell, high water, or the second coming of Christ, they are going!
It has been a long few mother has been sick, but not her normal sick where the doctors scratch their heads and go "hmm? this is weird". She had double pneumonia. Unfortunately, in order to be diagnosed with that, you must first start with bronchitis for a couple of weeks, followed by days of antibiotics, and days of still feeling like shit. Then you must visit the clinic on the weekend, because you are SO sick and you can't figure out why. A chest xray confirms pneumonia, and you are sent home with more antibiotics (this time stronger ones) and inhalers. Then.... (there's a lot to this double pneumonia thing!) roughly 3 days later, you will wake up only in a t-shirt and, have no memory of the previous night. You will struggle to keep your shit together mentally. Finally,your daughter, who has been caring for you as best as she can with 4 kids of her own to take care of, and her twin sisters twin boys, who can be a handful..and a small little business..takes you to the ER. There, you will be told you have double pneumonia. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  No worries, you'll be out in 5 days and feel like yourself in a month or so!
Good lord. I'm looking forward to a couple of hours to myself in the  morning..until I have to  pick up my nephews at their bus stop..and hopefully, we are going to have a great day, free of sickness, whining, and trips to the ER.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

A Closer Look at Mirror Twins..

My sister and I did a phone interview with the founders of They're a new website designed for twins, people who know twins, or just about anyone. Check it out, and join their site..just cause!! ;)  click here for our story...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

And the Winner is..

I won tickets to be an audience member at Live w/Kelly's post oscar show in California.. I never try and win anything..really, I don't. And I'm not sure why I entered to win this one, but I did, and yay.. Unfortunately, plane tickets to California aren't cheap..not from NH anyway, and "winning" their already free tickets doesn't include airfare.. so, unless someone offers to fly me there, looks like I'll be missing it.. suckage. But how cool is it that I almost got to go? yea, not really cool at all.. my husband was actually pretty excited about it, but then of course reminded me of how poor we are, and that it would be irresponsible if we went (there are 2 tickets btw). I told him it would be much cheaper if my sister went with me.. you know, cause she would pay her own way..that only made him think it was more irresponsible..I'm still working on it.. we shall see!

Sunday, January 15, 2012


The other day my husband was trying to log onto an online account of mine, and ended up having to change the password. This is a copy of the email he sent me:

                   "I got you back up. had to change your password to "whalesvagina."

This is why after being together for 20 years, I still love him so.. he makes me laugh, and totally gets me, most of the time anyway! And before any of you think that he was referrring to me, with the whalesvagina comment, it's from one of our favorite movies "Anchorman" with Will Ferrell.. so settle down! ;)

The Odd's...

Have I shared my twin story with you? Well, if you want to catch yourself up, you can go here, or here..

I was referred to the current issue of National Geographic because it was all about twins. I found a genetic researcher who is trying to find a genetic link to identical twins. It has always been thought that identical twins were a fluke and that only fraternal twins (when hyper ovulation occurs) was genetic and passed down from mother to daughter.
I have been searching for years to find another set of identical twins, who have also given birth to identical twins. I emailed the genetic researcher, and he quickly responded with a photo of another set of identical twins, who each had identical twins in the UK.  The only difference was that they were male twins, so the mom's were not twins. As far as this researcher knows, and he knows A LOT, we are the only set of female identical twins, to have each given birth to identical twins. Not to mention, again, all of the mirror traits that my sister and I have shared...not only genetic things that are beyond our control, like her being a lefty and me being a righty, she's nearsighted, I'm farsighted. I have a widow's peak, and she can roll her r's.. which is in fact genetic (I was pretty surprised by that one!) when I try to roll my r's, I look like an idiot, and end up just spitting's not pretty.
We also share other mirror traits, that I don't believe have anything to do with genetics, and without sounding like a total flake, I can only just tell the facts: my sister had the most common type of id. pregnancies where her boys shared a placenta. I had the rarest id. pregnancy because my girls each had their own placenta, I was told there was a 20% chance that they were identical. However, because each of my girls were in their own sack, I had the safest type of twin pregnancy, where my sister had the riskier pregnancy because of the threat of twin to twin transfusion (which one of her boys suffered from slightly after birth, but he is totally fine). Her boys were due on Thanksgiving, mine were conceived on Thanksgiving..Her babies were all born in the fall and winter, mine were all born in the spring and summer. All of our twins were born on the 22nd day of different months.
It has this meant to be thing..ya know? it's hard to explain.. but it's exciting! We are going to participate in the study for the genetic researcher. I'm working on a pedigree (which I thought only applied to dogs..but a las, I have learned something new...not hard for a natural blonde!) I've actually discovered some pretty cool things about my fathers side. I'm not sure if I've mentioned here that my dad's family (on his mom's side) are direct descendants of Paul Revere. He's an uncle 20 or so times removed. And I'm instantly tugged to try and convince you (my one reader) that it's true..probably because anyone I ever told growing up, never believed me, which is pretty funny if you think about it..who would make up a story about being related to Paul Revere? If I wanted to be cool, I would have said Santa was my grandfather!  Anyway, my great grandmothers maiden name was Revere and with things like, there has been a confirmed link. And the cool part is that there are a bunch of twins on that side...
I have lots to do..another website is airing our story (my sister and I did a phone interview, I'll link it when it airs..) And there's another website- a twin website, that will be featuring our story as well. This one includes homework though (they sent me a list of questions and want pictures and so on), and even with my A.D.D. meds, I'm still procrastinating and having a hard time finishing it. But if it turns out cool, I'll put a link here also. Ok, I gotta go.. my husband is cleaning the girls room, after discovering one of the girls has been hiding food in her closet. Not because she is nurturing an eating disorder, but because if her plate is clean, then she can have dessert..unfortunately, no one happened to see her disappear into her room with her plate. sneaky little bugger!

Here's a twin picture we did last fall.. this was taken by the wonderfully talented Danielle, go check out her website, she's amazing..