Thursday, December 06, 2012

Wimps..or maybe not.

It's been a long couple of weeks. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but roughly 4 years ago, my husband injured his right shoulder, and has been suffering (not so silently) with it ever since. He can't pin point the exact thing he did to tear his rotator cuff. It could have been anything, from the countless hours he's spent carrying any and all of our four kids at some point during their earlier years. It could have been all the landscaping he's done over the years..or the jerking off!  I simply don't know, and could care less. I just wanted it fixed!
It's a fact. Men are wimps when it comes to pain. (am I right ladies, c'mon??) When my husband and I were first together, we went and got tattoo's. He went first, and got a lizard on his right shoulder blade. He had a thing for lizards when he was in his early 20's. He had two (supposedly both female) til one of them got pregnant, then subsequently died because the egg ruptured inside of her before being released. It's ok, don't cry. I was over that the minute those cold blooded little bitches got their own bathroom! And they got their own bathroom because 1.) they were aggresive little fuckers but needed more space than just a normal cage and 2.) because the bathroom they got had a heat lamp, and they stayed nice and cozy! There were many a night, a drunk friend, or even my husband would have to take a leak and couldn't wait for the "normal no lizards allowed" bathroom and started to do their business, and the more aggresive lizard would jump for the stream of pee.
Anyway, sorry about getting so side tracked. Let me see, oh yes, wimps! About 5 minutes into the painful tattoo, my husband fainted. Turned green like the lizard he was having put on his back, and fell over! Once he regained his composure, he let the guy finish, and then I had mine done. While it was painful, it was certainly nothing that was going to throw me to the floor. That was when I made up my mind about guys, and their wimpiness. All the rumors, were true! As women, I believe we are naturally more conditioned to endure physical pain, if we weren't, the human race would have epically failed after the first man gave birth.
So, back to my poor husband and his shoulder. When he finally did see his doctor, and had an MRI, it was discovered that he had a pretty significant torn rotator cuff. He tried physical therapy, and anti inflammatory medications, but nothing worked. He decided for surgery. I was all for whatever he thought was best, but I did ask if I could attend the meeting with the surgeon, because he lacked many answers to some pretty important questions.. like, how do they do it? How long will you be out of work? what's the time frame on healing that bad boy up? My husband was under the impression that he could go in on Friday, and be back to school on Monday. Uh, yea. It rarely goes down like that..as I discovered when the surgeon told me that he recommends most his patients take 2 weeks off from work! Not to mention the fact that he would be unable to lift anything heavier than a coffee cup for 8 weeks. It was an enlightening visit to say the least. When booking the surgery with the surgical staff, my husband was told their first opening was the day before Thanksgiving. Before I could oppose, my husband says "I'll take it!" to which I reply.."but we're hosting this year" to which he rebutts "Perfect!"
So, that is how it went down. He had to check in at noon the day before Thanksgiving, on an entirely empty stomach since midnight the day before. This may have been the hardest part for him. It's hard to tell a man who's metabolism runs like a freight train, not to eat for 18 hours! He did it though, despite his entire family eating like pigs in front of him! On his way to the OR, my husband told me that he loved me, and apologized in advance for the pain in the ass he was going to be later. That was heartfelt for him, I knew he was nervous..what if something went wrong..so telling me that was a big deal.
The surgery went really well, the assisting surgeon was someone my husband has "jammed" with before, as I discovered post op when he came back to talk to us in the recovery room, said it was "textbook" perfection..or something like that. It was a clean tear, which made fixing it that much easier.
Much to my surprise, my husband joined us for dinner the next day. I thought for sure he'd be in his bed crying about how bad it hurt (this is where the whole men are wimps comes in). He was not a wimp at all. I did everything for him, 3 hot meals a day, dressed him, gave him what he referred to a Portuguese shower..or sponge bath, washed his hair in the kitchen sink. And handled the kids, and that little holiday Thanksgiving. I had no idea how much I was going to love taking care of him. I hadn't thought of it, really. I knew he'd be layed up, but I didn't know how my maternal instinct was going to kick in, and he was going to be first priority. Maybe it was his gratitude, because he was grateful. Or maybe it was just nice to feel appreciated. Sometimes in the hub bub of our lives, we have little time for appreciation. It wasn't just one way either. I was appreicative of all he does, and could no longer do. And for once, instead of him taking care of all of us (in a deeper way than just the monetary support he provides) I was able to take care of him. I was his lifeline. And I kinda dug that! He said more than once how useless he felt, when he saw me running from one thing to the next. He often would try to help, which I never allowed. I didn't want his head to get too big either..and told him I wasn't going to be nice forever, so he better get the hell back to bed, and let me do it!
He was back in school teaching and coaching the following Monday. He was so much stronger than I had ever given him credit for. We have not had so much as a disagreement since his surgery, and there have been many opportunities! We have instead decided not to sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short, and in the end the most important things will be what you've done for the people you love, and the impact that that has had on them...it's simple..

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is ridiculously sweet and grown up and insightful. :) Love it. (it's me, jenn, btw... I figured you might not know who was posting this since it's void of sarcasm and insult.)

Unknown said...

I never would have guessed!! Seriously! Thank you for your lovely comment..all grown up, and ridiculously sweet! ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm not really fond of the ending though. I was let down I expected more.... like maybe he bought you something nice for all you did?!