Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Here's my youngest son.. the first pic is him having a good day.. the other one is him every other day :)

Know what's scary??


When a strange man comes to your house, speaks little or no English, and is trying to open your door, saying "patch job, patch job" I don't know what the fuck he was talking about, but it scared the bejesus out of me. I happened to be on the phone with blogless when it all "went down" She was freaking on the other line, telling me to lock both my doors.. It wouldn't have been so freaky if he hadn't kept trying to open up my storm door, the one that I'm holding, and at that point trying to shut. I finally told him that I didn't need any work done, and that he was at the wrong house. He had no idea what I was saying, but apparently whatever language he spoke, NO means no.. and he left. After locking the doors I watched him go to his truck and leave.. I was already to use my self defense that I had learned 10 years ago.. I could have taken him! ;)

More bugs..

It would appear that we're back to square one with my oldest son and the bugs.. ugh.. It happened today, he went to the bathroom, all by himself..only to start screaming minutes later that he needed me. Well, when I went in, there was a bug on the outside of the bathroom window. He was sitting there on the toilet, freaking out. So, I thought the best thing would be to open the window, and flick the bug off the screen. I didn't notice the roll of toilet paper sitting on the window sill when I opened the window, but it tumbled down on top of my son, and sent him flying.. He thought the bug was coming to get him. He ran out into the hallway, where my sister and brother in law were.. bundling up my niece and getting ready to leave. All I saw was his bare butt heading for the living room. He didn't care who saw him, he just wanted away from that bug that was outside..
So, after the company left, I finally managed to get him to come a little closer to the bathroom, so that at least I could wipe his butt... Mid-shit, and he totally freaked out. I'm sure this will only make him regress, and he'll be asking his little brother to take him to the potty once more.. two steps forward, and about a gazillion back..

Saturday, November 26, 2005

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, thy leaves are so unreal!!

We got our Christmas tree today.. at Home Depot.. it came in a box.. I've never had a fake tree, in fact, it goes against everything that I believe in.. which happens to be that the only tree you should have in your home, be cut down, and die for you on the holiday. But in an effort to spare the kids I watch some agony, I've opted for a fake one this year. This was my husbands dream come true.. he's wanted a fake one our entire relationship, but I've never caved. Growing up, my grandparents grew Christmas trees. It's been one of my favorite childhood memories, going over and walking through their yard with all the trees. They had customers that would come by months before the holiday to tag their tree. It was part of their livelihood, they grew trees and corn.. But this year, I've been worried about my young 9 month old, very mobile, very apt to put anything in her mouth niece. So, I thought what better way to spare the poor child of any nasty painful pine needles, than to insure that the tree I got would never drop anything dangerous on floor that might make it's way to her mouth.. That solves one problem.. a bigger one is making sure she doesn't pull it down on top of herself.. Ugh.. it's going to be a long holiday season!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

When a 5 yr old explodes....

Today should have been a very easy day for me.. I only had my 17 month old niece, and my own children. Piece of cake compared to what I'm normally doing.. At some point today, my oldest son told me that someone had drawn on a chair in the living room. Hmm... It wasn't just a slip of someone's pen, or a teeny little scribble. It was about 6 huge black lines on both arms of the fabric covered chair. Long lines too, from the front to the back. It looked like someone was trying to create their own plaid design, and got caught in the middle of it.. however, I totally missed this happening, and figured my 2 year old had been up to no good.
When I asked my son who did it, he said "I did, but I don't know why" He was just sitting in the chair, with a pen, some paper, and an apparent need to ruin my chair.. I kept my cool, surprisingly, and told him that he's not to draw on the furniture, only paper.. same schpeil that I've been giving him since he was 2. This did not go over well with him. He lost his shit with me, told me that I should say I was sorry for yelling at him ( seriously, I didn't yell.. ) He then went on to tell me that I was a bad mom for looking at him the way I did.. and that if I didn't apologize that he was going to run away, and that he didn't love me, and that he hated me.. WOW! That was pretty much how I reacted. I'm thinking that he was so upset with himself, that he took it out on me, because REALLY, there was no yelling! And nothing nasty about it. Perhaps the look of disappointment on my face when I discovered that he had done it, was just too much for him.
It made me feel like a heel, although when he went on about how he would go live with his grammie, I did get a little chuckle. He told me he was going to walk there.. but that I would have to give him directions because he wasn't sure which left to take!!
He eventually calmed down, and has been apologizing to me all afternoon, about saying those mean things to me. At least I know this is a child that isn't going to internalize much! jeez.. I didn't bother to mention to him that his grammie is getting us a new chair for Christmas, and we probably won't keep the one he drew on.. I figured he should worry about it just a little!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Debauchery and the Knitting Lesson

The sleep over at Contagious' was a lot of fun. And there was no puking in anyone's recycling bin, or toilet, or restaurant bathroom. I was very well behaved.. In fact, I was up til after 2 getting a knitting lesson from Contagious. I had no idea how much I was going to love it, or how lame it would sound later!
We had dinner at a swanky restaurant in Portsmouth. The food was good, but the portions were tiny. It's one of those places that you get a huge plate, and barely anything on it. I was hungry after I left. But the drinks were good, and the company was great. We hit a bar afterwards, where we saw the "cool kids" that Contagious had referenced before. A couple of us tried to play some tunes on the jukebox, but of course we were long gone before they were played. We had a nice walk back to Contagious' house, where we had a night cap, and a knitting lesson.
The four hours of sleep that I got, were totally uninterrupted, and very sound. I left early, headed to the grocery store, then resumed my mom duties once again.. At this moment my youngest is whining at my feet.. wanting to cuddle.. So much for debauchery! But I can't wait to get some yarn, and start a-knitting!!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Sleep ovahhhhhhhhhh.....

I'm going to a sleepover this weekend.. at Contagious' house! Yee friggin hah! It's a birthday dinner for Blogless, and a big old celebration to get her out!! I'm looking forward to a fabulous dinner at a new restaurant in Portsmouth.. lots of drinking.. and a great night sleep!! No one calling to me in the middle of the night (at least there had better be no one calling for me..I only plan on holding my own hair back) And no one waking me at 6 am to go downstairs for breakfast!!
Ahh.. this will be on the heals of my first craft fair.. My husbands school is having one, and I've got a table there.. no more strip clubs for me, no sirree! I plan on getting some customers who aren't interested in dildo's or edible undies!! Wish me luck!!

Bad Hair Day..

My son went to school today with a serious case of bed head. My husband was appalled that I had let him go to school like that, and fears that kids are going to make fun of him. Um, if they can all pick their noses in front of each other and not give a rats ass, then no one is going to comment on the state of his hair!! Right??

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Helping out in the Classroom..

I was a helper in my son's kindergarten class today. It was a truly learning experience! First I learned that pink mini skirts matched up with a pink blazer, black nylons, pink shoes, with a gold anklet on the outside of the nylons and frosted blond hair pulled over to one side in the back, and clipped with a huge silver barrett, does nothing for a woman in her 50's. Oh, and I'm not sure if her slip hanging out of the front of the mini skirt was a look she was intentionally going for, but she just may want to rethink that. I also learned that every 5 year old in the world apparently has no problem picking their nose during circle time. Some were discreet, covering up their face with one hand while the other one did the work. Others were just digging away. I love that at this age, they just don't care. Now I also know how germs spread so quickly in school! ick..
It was great to see my son in his new environment. Especially with everything we've been worrying about lately. I must say, he's not the furthest behind in his class, that's for sure. He is however, one of the best behaved. He didn't ask for anything without raising his hand, this wasn't surprising to me, he's been making my husband and I raise our hands at home for quite some time. I could see where his teacher wonders about him though.. he's very quiet. He's a spitting image of what his dad used to be like in school. I was proud of how well behaved he was, and not worried at all. We've been waiting to get a progress report from his title 1 teacher, and today we received it. It simply stated that he was a pleasure to have in class. No shit. We were hoping for something a bit more specific, like he's really smart, and he's coming along great. We'll have to investigate that some more I guess.
I feel as though lately I've been on a rollercoaster with my son. Worrying, not worrying.. it's been frustrating. But I think he's in the right hands. His teacher may dress like some sort of 80's glam girl, but she was really good with the kids. Most of them listened really well, and she has a very structured and fun classroom. It's not easy entertaining 17 five year olds for 6 hours! I think my son's going to thrive there.. I'm looking forward to going back.. but I'm going to have a long talk with my son about the nose picking! In his defense, he was the only one who raised his hand, and asked for a tissue!! Good boy!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Yet another blond moment..

Today was career day at my son's school. His teacher sent something home about it yesterday. The kids could dress like whoever they might want to be when they grow up. He told me that he wanted to be a teacher, so we decided last night that he would wear a tie, and a nice shirt. It would look quite teacher like (at least that's what his teacher dad wears, and he always looks so handsome!) Anyway, this morning, in the rush and caos of our house, my son asked me if he could pick out his clothes. Sure, no problem. He came down in a Buzz Lightyear sweatshirt, and some pants. I thought.. how handsome.. I didn't think "shit, it's career day, you don't want to be Buzz Lightyear when you grow up right?" Yea, that just totally escaped me. It didn't dawn on me til about 2 hours after he had caught the bus, when my younger son was watching a Barney show and there was some kid on it wearing a tie! And then I felt like crying. I don't know where my head is at sometimes. I swear, someday I'm going to just forget that I even have children who depend on me to keep my head out of my ass.. Ugh..I can't wait for the day when my kid can help me keep all of this straight!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Poor little mouse.. never knew what hit him.. The door to my shed is apparently what hit him. Weird timing.. it must have been trying to get out, and the door slammed at that precise moment. It made me think of Contagious' mouse, all snug and warm in their kitchen.. and then I was glad that this mouse was not in MY kitchen, and that however sad it might be, at least my son hasn't developed a phobia with mice.. it's hard enough dealing with all the bugs!

Monday, November 14, 2005

When the Dark is Less Scary Than Your Mother..

For some unknown reason, my 5 year old has been waking in the middle of the night and needing me by his bed side. It's gotten to the point that I've got a sleeping bag and a pillow set up next to his bed to make life a little easier.
I don't know exactly what came over me last night when I heard his whiney cry, but someone else inside of me took over. I first sat up and told him it was ok, and to go back to sleep. This only intensified the whine, and I could hear his brother start to rustle. My husband got up, and I thought he was going to take care of it. But he needed to take care of something else, and headed for the bathroom. The whining escalated, and I just lost it. This is what I remember saying "Jesus! I'm so sick of this.. It's not comfortable on the floor.. do you realize that you're making your mother sleep on the floor??"
This is when he looked at me, and simply pointed in the direction of my bed. "Oh no, we are NOT sleeping in my bed!!" I firmly stated.
And he said "No, you. You can go back to bed."
The demon inside of me, tired of sleepless nights in a sleeping bag was released, and I then felt like total shit for being so harsh to my son. I hugged him and told him that I was sorry for being so mean. He hugged me back and said it was ok, then he layed his little head down, I covered him up in his smelly bug sprayed blanket, and went back to bed. My son was more afraid of me than the dark.
It took a while to fall back to sleep. My husband had missed my outburst, but was no doubt surprised to find me in our bed when he returned from the bathroom.
I apologized again this morning and told my son how proud I was that he went back to sleep on his own, and how much better I had slept in my own bed rather than on the floor. He seemed very pleased with himself and told me that it was ok.
I'm thinking this may have solved our night time disturbances. It's not a technique I would have used under normal "awake" circumstances, nor is it one that I think will be printed in any parenting magazine, but I think I recovered from it ok, as did my son.. it's all good!!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Parent/Teacher/Crybaby conference..

We went to our first conference with my son's kindergarten teacher. I was so excited about going, and getting to find out a bit more of what my son's been doing. I've been so curious about what he's like in school. If he was shy, or if he'd come out of his shell a bit.
She started out the meeting by commenting on how much my son looks like his dad.. and what a sweetheart he is. She then went on a bit about how he's quiet, and quite shy. He'll involve himself in the class, but rarely initiates anything on his own. This is probably due to no pre-school. Then her tones changes a bit, and this is where the crybaby part of the conference comes into play. She fears he might need some additional testing for some sort of learning disability, and suggests that it might be a good idea to see if special ed might be where he needs to spend some of his time. He's got some delays in fine motor skills (because I wouldn't let him pick up scissors til this summer for fear he would cut himself) He's also a bit behind in his speech, which we knew already and are treating. He's also got some processing issues.. he's distracted very easily and basically has a bunch of other "typical" male traits!
I tried not to cry, really I did! I've been a bit emotional this week anyway, what with Aunt Flo coming for a visit soon.. But when she started talking about "testing" and special ed.. I just couldn't hold it back anymore. She very sternly, yet sympathetically said "don't cry" And then went onto how sweet he was. I friggin know he's sweet..and you said that already.. but what I didn't know was that by his 5th year, he was going to be required to know so much! There's nothing quite like hearing that your son might need special ed to catch up, to make you feel like a total failure as a parent! Jeez, now I'm just waiting for the social workers to come over and investigate and find out what the hell has been going on in our house..too much tv.. too many computer games.. one too many happy meals.. It's ok though, I want to figure out what's going on, if anything. And get it fixed now, before kids tease.. or before he thinks that he's different..

Monday, November 07, 2005

Yum Yum..

In an effort to try to get my kids to eat better, I made them sit at the table tonight, and just eat! I didn't care if they thought they didn't like it, they had to try whatever I put in front of them. Which just happened to be a delicious turkey pot pie, mashed potatoes, and their favorite veggie corn- they're favorite because of how it maintains it's identity when it escapes their little bodies..gross, I know, but they're boys!
Anyway, my oldest son was pissed! He told me that it was not his choice to have what I was making. um, my point exactly, it wasn't his choice, but dammit, he was going to try the pot pie.. So, my husband I and put our heads together (which makes about 1/4 of a parenting team) and tell him that Santa (yup our old pal Santa again) is watching, and that we're pretty sure that he just crossed another gift off his list of presents. This is all it takes for him to open wide, and indulge us. He takes the bite of the pie (which is only the crust and the gravy) and starts a chewing. You would have thought by the look on his face that we had just made him eat his own shit, and not gods marvelous creation of gravy.. He chews, and he gags a little, and then he says "mmm, this is good!" Oh, the drama, and the classic facial expressions of a 5 year old! That was the only bite he would take, but I didn't care. I was just glad that he tried it.. and of course he was relieved to find out that Santa would in fact pencil that gift back in!!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

She deserves some props!!

One of my best friends (blogless) has been having a very hard time recently. Her father is recovering from bacterial meningitis. He's been in the hospital for 2 weeks and is leaving for a rehab facility tonight. I have to give blogless some props. She's been an amazing daughter over the past two weeks. She's spent numerous over nights at the hosptial with her dad. She's been more of a nurse to him than anyone getting paid to do so. She's taken charge of his care, and he's truly a lucky man to have such a dedicated daughter. It doesn't help that her mom's got some issues (won't go into them here, blogless knows that she needs a blog just about her mother) She's had so much to contend with. And it's not as if she's got nothing else going on, she has 2 small children who she cares for as well, and a sister with a disability. I gotta say, if anything ever happened to me, I want her by my side helping me out!
We've all been praying for her dad, he's a great guy- pretty damn funny too! We all know where blogless get's her sense of humor! He married my husband and I, as well as blogless and her husband. So, send some good thoughts her way! She could use em!