Hi, I'm Buzz Kill, nice to meet you..

I feel like I have somewhat deserted this blog. I don't really have time these days to sit down and type away. If I'm not cleaning the house, to keep it ready for a showing (which we haven't had in over a week) Then I'm tending to my kids, two of which were sick all weekend. And of course it was the youngest two, the babies.. sick with fevers and needing only to sit in my lap and pick at my hands, like they always do. This left little time for any cleaning, or blogging or just general living.
They are feeling better though, the fevers have gone, but they still need to sit in my lap, and pick at my hands, just to make sure I'm still there.. at least until the memory of their horrible sickness has disappeared.
Last week, I helped my nephew move a few things to his new apartment. We had to go to UNH where he had stored his bed and a few boxes at a friends house. It was still morning when we got there, so I was pretty surprised (for like a second) at the odor that greeted us as we walked in.. my old friend Mary Jane.. The two kids sitting on MY former futon (I had given it to my nephew, who in turn gave it to these stoners) must have pretty much shit their pants. In walks my nephew, followed by me. Mother of 4.. talk about a buzz kill.. I heard one of the kids mumble "Oh shit" and he quickly exited the room. I gotta say, I didn't care that they were in the middle of a wake and bake. Been there, done that. What was most disturbing, was that I was the cause of their buzz kill. I was the mom walking in on the kids getting high! Gone are the days when I would have sat down on that futon and waited for a turn.. When did I get so old??

"What the hell is that??"

This is a direct quote from my 8 year old about a bug he saw at the playground the other day. I know exactly where he gets this from (yes, his mother) But here's where I'm ok with the reaction. A couple of years ago, if he had seen this weird bug that we were all checking out, instead of this knee jerk response, he would have been screaming, and running for the car. Instead, he swore, and nervously awaited our response. That's progress people!

Dressing Yourself, at age 8...

Seriously, I would have thought that at 8 years old, getting dressed would be a snap. If I had let him, my 8 year old would have gone to school like this. With his shirt on backwards (a polo shirt no less!) And not have had a clue.. Is it just boys?? Or is it just my boy??

The other C word..

Nothing puts things into perspective like receiving a phone call from a friend, telling you that he has lung cancer. That pretty much makes the selling of my house way unimportant. It also gives you the chills, and makes you want to throw up.
This friend was my first boyfriend. A guy that at one point in my life, I loved. He's now married, with 2 kids who attend the same school as my kids. In fact, his daughter is in my 5 year old's kindergarten class.
Talking to him this morning, for almost an hour about his diagnosis was heart wrenching. They don't know for sure if it's malignant, or exactly what his prognosis is. He had a biopsy yesterday, but the moron doing it couldn't find the golf ball sized tumor. He feels a bit in the dark about the whole thing at this point, and has to wait until Monday to meet with his doctor.
Amazingly, he's got a great attitude, and is determined to live to be 90. He smoked for a bit, but only socially, and that was about 8 years ago. He has the sweetest boy who at 2 was diagnosed with autism. He told me his biggest fear was not being there to help his wife with him, and of course not to see his kids grow up. I can't imagine what that is like, or how on earth he is even able to talk about it.
I just hope that whatever they determine is in his lung, is benign, and that he'll be ok. 38 is too young to die.

9/22

It would appear that our first showing was a bust. Some guy in a truck, looking for a place to put his king size bed. Yea, that's not going to really work in our 10x12 "master suite". His fiance wasn't with him though, and he loved the rest of the place, so we'll see if they might show up at the open house.
It was no easy task keeping my house spotless with my 2 girls running around. And then my poor 5 year old who got off the bus about 3o minutes before the showing, famished (as usual) I gave him pretzels and all but threatened him within an inch of his life not to get crumbs anywhere.. of course the entire bag of pretzels ended up on the floor, and he stood there awaiting his lashing.. There was none. I just picked them up, and decided it was time to leave.
Anyway, after hanging at my in laws for a bit, I got a call from our realtor with the "so-so" news about the showing. Then 2 hours later, she called back and said we had another showing on Saturday. This is more action than we had before, so it's all good.
We're heading back to the house with the elevator on Sunday with our brother in law, who is a carpenter, to check out the "bones" of the house. I know it needs carpet, and paint, but we have a storeroom of paint in our basement, and carpet isn't that expensive.. who knows what will come of any of this..
We have an alarm clock that we bought at the dollar tree for our camper. Somehow it ended up in our kitchen. It's the most annoying clock ever. For some reason the alarm goes off at 9:22 every morning. I can't figure out how to change it, so I just press a button or two every morning, and it stops. A few weeks ago, I decided that 9:22 wasn't just a number, but a date as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that on Monday, September 22nd, something really good happens. My husband reminded me that it could be something bad.. Of course he would remind me of that. He is the voice of reason after all. But these past couple of weeks, with all the work I've been doing around here, I have been inspired by this alarm clock, and that date.. I might be nuts, but I might be right!

First Showing..

I got a call from my realtor today that we have our first showing tomorrow. Yea. Except that of course I have a ton of shit to do to get ready for it, and it's at 2:15, which is right in the middle of nap time for the girls, something I have a hard time giving up, but at least it's Friday, and they'll be in bed nice and early!
My husband is totally unavailable to help me out in any way because of work and then coaching after work, and of course his band, and yada yada..so it's all up to me. Thank god I am amazingly organized and already in pretty good shape. I was just thinking moments ago, about all that I've done in preparation for tomorrow.. here's a summary
-I painted our sun room (with the help of my sister)
-I painted our kitchen cabinets-solo
-I painted our downstairs bathroom, with some assistance from my nephews (sorry about the paint stains on their shirt!) hah!
-I totally cleaned out the basement and have staged it to be a family room/den, whatever.. which involved moving about 15 bins of storage to our attic, and lots and lots of cob web removal! I was one sweaty pig that day!
-I painted the front deck, including the floor
-I went through every closet, cabinet and drawer, organizing.. and tossing.
-I stained, painted and layed a new floor in the stairway to the basement (it looks really good, I might be most proud of this)
-I hung blinds
-I have washed almost every carpet in our house, much thanks to my mother in law and her bissell steam cleaner.
-Oh, and I've also kept up on the laundry, cooked dinner, cleaned dishes, done homework, given baths, changed diapers, read stories, and babysat for 3 other kids.. I have to mention my mom was invaluable, and helped me a lot with the childcare.. seriously, I couldn't have done any of this without her help.. But I am quite proud of myself, and if these jackasses don't make an offer by Monday, then I'm going to open a newly purchased can of paint, and inhale away..

Post #900..

900 posts..damn. And what have I said?? I've complained a lot about my 5 year old, my husband and life in general. We've had our house on the market almost 3 times (tomorrow will make it our last try..sure..) I've deleted stuff..been to one blog and brew (which btw we are so far overdue for another one.) I've joined facebook, had two more babies, and gotten many more gray hairs.. I've been reacquainted with an estranged family member (which I've never blogged about) I've seen two children off to school.. I've welcomed 3 new children to our family, actually4, including my niece. I've seen my nephew, who is like a son to me, graduate high school, fail out of college and move back and forth from home to apartments.
I've been to funerals.. one of a young man who died far too young, and my best friends father, who was like a dad to all of us.. I've posted lots about poop. I've met some bloggers who have inspired me with their wit and their commonality, something we all share. I've discovered that just because you think you know someone, doesn't mean that they're always going to be your friend.. I've seen struggles, and joys and love.. I've had regrets over the last 3 years, and 900 posts. Not getting up to speak at my best friends fathers funeral being on the top of that list. I learned that fear grips me like nothing else. I've regretted not speaking up to my oldest sons kindergarten teacher (a.k.a the whore). I've regretted lots. But I don't regret the way my life is. How I've wavered through tough times, or how we have all come out of it. I survived the birth, and first year of twins! I think I can survive anything! At least I hope I can!

This is the kid..

My 5 year old had his first soccer game today. He woke up crying that he didn't want to go, that he was scared. I told him that he was going to see a bunch of kids he knew, and that he would have tons of fun.
My husband left with him, to get him there for 8 a.m. and I met them there with the rest of the kids only moments later. He was already on the field, having a great time.
Soccer at the kindergarten level is pretty entertaining to watch. The kids are basically just running all over the field, more or less chasing each other. They started with a basic practice. My son, who kept to himself, ended up playing pass with one of the 2 coaches, because all the other kids had paired up. He didn't mind one bit. While all the other kids were passing the ball to the best of their 5 year old abilities, my son passed with accuracy, and stopped the ball with clear skill.
It wasn't long into the passing the ball drill, that I heard one coach, say to the other, "This is the kid" That's right. He's the KID!
After warming up, they split the team up into small groups, and scrimmaged against the green team. My son made one of the 2 goals, and the parents on the sidelines erupted into cheer. He was high fived when he got off the field, and more than one parent asked me what his name was. "Way to go!" He was on cloud nine! He spent the rest of the day telling me that he had scored a goal!
I remember being on the sideline when my 8 year old was playing on the kindergarten team, and seeing a kid who was clearly athletic, and clearly going to be a great player. Today that kid was my kid!

Moving Forward..

So my friend isn't ready to buy my house. He called me today and told me to move forward with our listing, and maybe in 6 months he'll buy it. I'm hoping to god that in 6 months our house will be sold, and we'll have moved on. I really hate the idea of the house being on the market. It's so much more work, to keep it clean, and the waiting game of showings, and inspections just sucks. A part of me totally does not want to go through that process again. Yet, as my children are getting bigger, the need is coming for us to have a larger place. Today was discouraging, but I emailed my agent, and I'm ready to get going.. I just hope it works this time! Although I won't be surprised if it doesn't!

The Clean Up..

I cleaned my basement yesterday. It was no small task, as there were about 15 bins that I had to move to our attic. I then found about 4 loads of laundry that my nephew had left from when he used to live here (about a year ago..) But we're getting the house ready to put on the market, and "staging" the basement was an important part of getting the house in tip top shape.
Later in the afternoon, I got a message from a friend of mine who said he might be interested in buying our place. He's going to call me today, and let me know.. I'm really hoping he wants it.. That would make my life so much easier.. we would save so much money not having to list it, and we could get into a new house (with an elevator!! haha..) in record time. Keep your fingers crossed!

The Gay Team..

My youngest son's soccer coach called tonight. They have their first game tomorrow. He's on the gray team, which is just going to be the color of his shirt, and an easier way to find his teammates amongst all the other kids. Unfortunately, with my son's speech delays, he has a hard time pronouncing his r's.
What a delight it was for my husband to come tonight and have his son run up to him declaring "Daddy, I'm on the gay team!!" We don't care what team our kids play on, we'll love them no matter what! Go Team!

Playdate..

So I am just winding down from having ctale, bbk, and everyday news over. It was a lot of fun. I had never met Heidi, and except for reading her blog on a regular basis, I had no idea what to expect. Of course she was great, and her daughter was one of the best behaved little girls I've met. My girls ever got along with her, and not once did they try to tackle her, or bite or even hit. I was pleasantly surprised!
We had a great lunch, with some wine, followed by some yummy cupcakes courtesy of Heidi. I lucked out and got my girls off for their nap, said bye to Heidi, and bbk, and then kicked ctales ass on the wii. She later watched my 5 year old kick my ass.
The highlight, besides the fore mentioned, was about 10 minutes after my 5 year old got off the bus, and was showing off his talents on the wii, when he whispered in my ear that he was peeing his pants. Then after our guests had gone, and I was cleaning up, I dropped a wine glass on my foot, and cut it. Nice. Don't worry though, I'm fine. And I'm pretty sure that the wine I drank had already numbed any pain I might have otherwise felt.
It was a good day. And I'm hoping that next Friday everyone will return, and hang with blogless and I.. For now, I'm trying not to be hungover (as it's only 4) and I have to work in about an hour.. Thank you girls for hanging out with me today.. I look forward to another playdate!

Dance Party!!

When these girls aren't trying to kick the shit out of each other, they actually have a lot of fun.. they loved our dance party the other day..

My sweet sweet boy.. who for the past five years has challenged me in ways I never knew were possible. The boy who has gnawed slowly at my soul with his whining.. the child who I cradled more than once in the emergency room as they stitched up his head and told him to be more careful.. I love him with all my heart, and today, on the day that I have been waiting for for half a decade.. I missed him..

I almost forgot..
My girls are finally sleeping in their own beds, all night! My husband has been sleeping on the couch since last November when they got sick and came into bed with me. Since then, I haven't been able to let them cry it out and get them to sleep all night without me. While the boys and I were away camping, he let them cry it out, and now I'm sharing my bed with my husband.. Yeah for him!

Nuts in the nut house..

There is so much more that I should be doing, instead of blogging.
Cleaning my house is priority number one.
We are on the hunt again. We found a house in our town, that we love, and can afford. We have a realtor coming by tomorrow to give us a CMA (comparable market analysis, or something of the sort). We're insane. But this house has an elevator! Yes, an elevator! Who wouldn't want one of those??
In other news, my 5 year old got on the bus this morning with his older brother, without me having to drag him on, or wipe away ANY tears! I was so proud! Of both of them.. my older son was talking non stop about all the things his little brother was going to do at school. He even sat in front with him (and the other little kids), but he'll only do that until his brother is comfortable enough to sit with someone else. I could see him looking back towards the middle of the bus where his best friend was.. I'm sure missing all the antics of the older kids. But he's taking care of his little brother, and trying to remember what it was like when he first started 3 years ago..
We're heading out to McDonald's or Burger King for dinner tonight.. part of why my little one didn't cry.. "If you're really good, and brave, we'll get happy meals tonight..." Nothing like being able to bribe your child with a heart attack in a box!

Two Kitty's

Here is the youngest daughter of blogless. She is such a cutie.. I promised her mom I would post this from our camping trip this weekend.. Here it is!