Under the Lights..

Every year the kids soccer teams get to play a night game, under the lights, in a neighboring town. These games are so fun for the kids and everyone always looks forward to it. I was especially looking forward to it this year, because of being the ass coach and all.
I had gotten a couple emails during the day from parents wanting directions to the field. In an extremely timely fashion, I replied with the address, and an attached map. Yes, you should be impressed, a map for me is a big deal.
 My son and I left before the rest of the family because, you know, I'm the ass coach, and we need to be there either early, or at the very least on time. Imagine my surprise, and baited anxiety, to see an entirely empty field. Immediately, my son starts freaking out..but I quickly calm him down and tell him it's fine. We're the first ones here. We're early!! Something sadly, he's probably never experienced with his mutha before!
So, we get out of the car, and start commenting on how different the field looks. We both agree that they must have moved the goals and the bleachers. Sure. Sounds good. While we waited, I hit the porta potty, which was naturally disgusting, as any little "house" would be that contains random peoples dookeys.
After more waiting, and more wondering, my son says "where's the cemetery that used to be here?" I had no memory of a cemetery, but then again, I have no memory of last week. So, I think he's confused. That must be another field. And then he says "Mom, where are the lights?"  At that point, they were finally going off.  In my head. Shit. We were totally at the wrong field, and now we were late. We jumped back in the loser cruiser, and flew to the other field. We made it before the game started, but not before the rest of my family had been there, and then went out looking for us afraid I may have had car troubles.  And, where was my cell phone? Lost. Only to be found later under a pile of clean clothes on my bed waiting to be folded. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, b/c my husband and I share a cell phone. what is this, 1999?
Anyway, this wasn't the only problem of course. Miraculously, one of the parents ignored my directions and got their own, and  the other parents (the parents of twins, who I adore) showed up 2 minutes after we did. The Dad looked like he had just been to war. With his wife. whoopsie.
The worst part, was that my sister, who had driven right home after work, picked up her 3 kids, got back in her car, and then unbeknownst to her, drove to the wrong field. I borrowed a phone from the other ass coach, but I could not, for the life of me,  remember her number.
I had to leave the field, right at the beginning of the game, and fetch my sister. She was only mildly annoyed, and more relieved that she could park her car, and get her 3 restless kids out of it! I'm not sure why I didn't have a heart attack that night, it wouldn't have surprised me.  We ended up crushing the other team 6-0 and are currently undefeated!  There is another game, at a different school this season, but I'm pretty sure no one will be asking me how to get there! Maybe there is an upside to my stupidity!