I forgot to post this back on June 12th..when I actually did turn 40.. oh well, better late than never!
I am 40 today. FORTY! WTF? I am a mix of emotions right now, and honestly, I didn't think I'd give a shit. But as I awoke this morning, from one of the best dreams I have had in ages, I started thinking of that number. 40! I have never been one of those women who lie about their age, and I never understood why anyone would. but right now, I kinda get it. I was 39 yesterday, and today, I'm 40! How did I get to be this old, this quickly? I know that 40 isn't really that old, and according to the cashier at walmart who carded me on Friday for my Longhammers, I don't look 40.. I'm not even sure what that is supposed to look like, but I guess, not me! When I was in my 20's, long before I had any children and when my life to that point had dragged on at a snail pace, I thought that people in their 30's were pathetic, and people in their 40's were washed up. Of course I have gained much wisdom since then, and I understand the reason my life seems to be flying by at an alarming rate, is because I am so busy. I don't spend my free time wondering what to do with myself like I did before I had kids. In fact, there is no free time. I know there should be, and one day there will be, but for now, it's not about me, it's about my kids. When you have children, you are no longer living for yourself. It's all about them. As it should be.
Besides waking from a most wonderful dream, about my most favorite band, the first day in my 40th year took a drastic turn into suckville. My husband left for work, said goodbye, and completely forgot that it was my birthday. To his credit, he had thrown me a surprise birthday party the Saturday before, so he was pretty much "over" my birthday. Still, it stung and the only thing that made me feel better was the fact that I knew he was going to feel like shit when he remembered, and the euphoria I was still experiencing from my most wonderful dream, in which my boys gave me a private show! Fantastic.
My day proceeded on with my girls, who had finished their first year of Kindergarten the day before. Summer was starting. My youngest son and his entire grade, were heading over to the park across the street from us, so we decided to join them, and try to shake off the suckiness that had started to settle. I got to watch my son play baseball with his classmates (he's an amazing baseball player btw, really!) And I got to chat with one of my favorite mom's from the school. It wasn't long before my girls were tired of being at the park, and they wanted to go home, and when they're ready, they're ready. We headed and I did my normal getting home stuff..checking my email, and checking the caller ID. I saw that my mom had called. She was at my sister's house watching her boys for the day..a bit of a birthday gift to me! Her message sounded weird. She sounded weird. "ok, just give me a call when you get a chance" I called her right back, and she's now sounding really weird. She wants to know if I can come and get her. She's been having some vision problems, and is really dizzy. She would drive herself home, but the vision thing.. She thinks she'll be fine if she can just lay down. I managed to get the girls in the car, grab car seats for the boys, and get to my sisters in record time. When I arrive, she's outside, waiting. She somewhat stumbles to the car, I grab the boys, and I have no doubt that part of this day is going to be spent in the ER. After making a couple of phone calls, my sister meets me at the hospital, her husband picks up the boys, and my mother is admitted for having a stroke. I don't want to sound like this is all about me, but jesus! A stroke? On my 40th..ughhhh.... ok, so she ends up being just fine. They keep her for a few days, and come to find out, the reason she went all strokey was because she hadn't taken her blood thinners for a few days..because she had no money for the meds. Both my sister and I have told her it's cheaper for us to buy her prescriptions than it is for us to bury her! But she feels bad, and I get it, but then again, I don't! I have told her, more than once that I'm not interested in finding her dead. I'm just not. I know that most likely I will, because she lives with me, but finding her dead because she's too proud, or whatever, to ask for help, is just something I'd rather not live with forever. ya know?
Back to me now.. and my husband..who came home to hear about my mother being in the hospital, still not remembering that it was my birthday. It wasn't until my nephew came over to cook dinner for me, when he remembered. Yes, he felt horrible, and no, it didn't make me feel any better. The one thing I wanted for my birthday, besides a party, was an ipad, or a new ipod (I knew the ipad wasn't gonna happen, but I thought for sure he would replace my old crusty cracked 1st generation ipod with a nice new shiny one). However, it turns out, that the party was my present. That was the straw that broke this 40 year olds back. I tried acting like it didn't bother me that there was no gift. I didn't want to sound like an ingrate. I knew it was a lot of work for him to throw me a party, and I was so happy that he did. But he knows me well, and despite me begging him to stop asking me what was wrong, I had to tell him.. he felt horrible again. This was not my intent. It really wasn't. If I hadn't had such a lousy day, with my mom having a stroke and all, I probably would have been fine. That was however, just how the fucking forty year old cookie crumbled.
I went to bed that night, tired..and hoped that maybe I would have that dream again..but I didn't. I did however sleep straight through the night, even when my girls climbed into my bed and took their assumed positions, one on each side of me. I have no doubt that the rest of my 40th year will be better than the first. I always set the bar of expectations pretty low, which I gotta say, is genius. It leaves very little room for disappointment! It would appear that even though I'm washed up, I'm still pretty fahkin smaht! ;)
Friday, July 20, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
My Twin Story on Video.. for those of you who don't get it! ;)
I don't know what else to do to try to capitalize on my twin story.. some people get it, some people don't. I tried to get a "grant" from an organization that gives money to twins who would like to travel to Twinsburg Ohio for their annual twin festival, but can't come up with the funds. I sent a letter, a picture, and heard NOTHING. wtf? whatever.. I decided after that that I probably wouldn't want to go to what I have called a freak show before.. we're not those creepy twins..but our story is fucking cool.. so, I made this video and sent it to Ellen Degeneres..in an attempt to try and win tickets to her 12 days show (this would include airfare and hotel accommodations) if nothing comes of this, then I am done, and I will take my twinness to the grave.. I am however, quite excited about how easy it was to make this video..who knew? it's rough, and clearly my first, but I couldn't get over how simple it was!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
9..
Today was Mother's Day. My girls made me gifts all week, mostly drawings and cards. They had hidden them all over the house, but most of them were in my bedroom. Two were stuffed in my pillow case, and two more were in my nightstand. They spent a week freaking out if I went near their hiding spots, and you would think that I would have noticed the one under the pillow, but I did not.
Not only was it Mother's Day, but 9 years ago today, my youngest son was born. He was 2 days late from the Mothers Day due date I had been given. Unlike the 13 hour labor I had with my first, he was a solid 21 hours of intense labor, 2 failed epidurals, and an early morning birth assisted by the vacuum. He was a champ from the beginning. He was out of the womb for less than 5 minutes, and started nursing immediately. My first son took a couple of weeks to get the nursing thing down, so this was already a triumphant beginning. My husband spent the night at home with our older son, and I was left to tend for number two. I was already for the nurses to bring him to the nursery, and to get some sleep. Unlike with my first son who I couldn't bare to let be away from my side for one second, I gave in to the reality that if I wanted sleep, this would be the only place I would get it. It was roughly a half hour later that I heard a baby screaming down the hall...and I knew. It was mine. I spent most of the night walking around the hospital room trying to calm him down, and trying not to bleed my eyes dry from all of the crying I was doing. The first night home from the hospital, he cried from 10pm to 1am. He was a challenge to say the least.
But here we are, 9 years later, there has been plenty of drama, lots of endless searching, many trips to the ER and to Boston Children's hospital.. this boy has kept me on my toes. He has grown into such a nice, sweet considerate boy. At his recent parent/teacher conference (which I coincidentally showed up for a day late).. His teacher told me that he was really going to miss him next year. Pride is an understatement. I love that boy for so many reasons..for making me a calmer, more patient person. For his sense of humor and his quick wit (which he totally gets from me of course!) For all the times he's done thoughtful, kind things for no reason..like bringing his dad a blanket every night before he goes to sleep on the couch (yup, we're still rolling like that, so shut up). He's an amazing kid. I am one lucky mama!
Not only was it Mother's Day, but 9 years ago today, my youngest son was born. He was 2 days late from the Mothers Day due date I had been given. Unlike the 13 hour labor I had with my first, he was a solid 21 hours of intense labor, 2 failed epidurals, and an early morning birth assisted by the vacuum. He was a champ from the beginning. He was out of the womb for less than 5 minutes, and started nursing immediately. My first son took a couple of weeks to get the nursing thing down, so this was already a triumphant beginning. My husband spent the night at home with our older son, and I was left to tend for number two. I was already for the nurses to bring him to the nursery, and to get some sleep. Unlike with my first son who I couldn't bare to let be away from my side for one second, I gave in to the reality that if I wanted sleep, this would be the only place I would get it. It was roughly a half hour later that I heard a baby screaming down the hall...and I knew. It was mine. I spent most of the night walking around the hospital room trying to calm him down, and trying not to bleed my eyes dry from all of the crying I was doing. The first night home from the hospital, he cried from 10pm to 1am. He was a challenge to say the least.
But here we are, 9 years later, there has been plenty of drama, lots of endless searching, many trips to the ER and to Boston Children's hospital.. this boy has kept me on my toes. He has grown into such a nice, sweet considerate boy. At his recent parent/teacher conference (which I coincidentally showed up for a day late).. His teacher told me that he was really going to miss him next year. Pride is an understatement. I love that boy for so many reasons..for making me a calmer, more patient person. For his sense of humor and his quick wit (which he totally gets from me of course!) For all the times he's done thoughtful, kind things for no reason..like bringing his dad a blanket every night before he goes to sleep on the couch (yup, we're still rolling like that, so shut up). He's an amazing kid. I am one lucky mama!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
My great grandmother
I had the strangest dream last night about my great grandmother. We called her Memere (pronounced mem-may). She was 100 when she died. I was only 19. She lived with my grandmother who was my most favorite person in the world. In fact, she still is. She's the one that the medium said walked with me, I totally believe she does and it gives me such a huge sense of peace. Anyway, we're not talking about my grammie, but her mother in law, Memere.
Memere was 80 when my sister and I were born. There's a picture of us with Memere when we were about 2. We were outside, something I never saw her do, or at least when I was old enough to remember it. My sister and I were in our diapers, and a small plastic pool was in the background. Memere was sitting in an aluminum lawn chair, and we're on either side, leaning in. I am sure that she must have been propped up out there so that my grandfather (her son) could get a picture of the toe headed twins, with their great grandmother.
She used a walker, and walked from her chair in the living room, to the bathroom, back to her chair, which is where she sat, pretty much for 2 decades. My sister and I spent A LOT of time at my gram's house. Memere had lived with my grandparents for most of her life, and my grandmother did everything for her. She had a commode (her "potty") that she used every night, and that my grandmother cleaned every morning. I hated that thing! My gram would come through the living room with it and we would all hold our breath. There are certain smells that are so bad and so foul, that they leave a memory with you. You can actually smell them again just by imagining it. That shit bucket is one of those smells.
In my dream last night, I was at my grandmother's house. I dream a lot about that house, and particularly of my grandmother. But last night, for the first time in maybe ever, I dreamt about Memere. Her bedroom was off of the living room. It was tiny. However, it seemed appropriate for a woman who was so small and frail. She needed very little, she had a twin bed, a bureau, a nightstand, pictures of Jesus everywhere, holy water, and of course, her shit bucket. The house was not as it usually is. My grandmother wasn't there, and it was cold and gray. Completely dreary. I was alone at this point, walking through the house looking for someone, for anyone really, and it occurred to me that we had forgotten about Memere. I ran to her room and flew the door open. I found her there, looking like her brain had taken a nap, and oddly, covered in her own feces. She told me that the potty hadn't been emptied in ages and that I had better take care of it. It was overflowing and there was shit everywhere..ironically, it didn't smell. The nice minister type priest dude (who apparently I was having an "emotional affair" with, but were going to take it up a notch and cuddle) picks up the shit bucket, covered in pooh, and all I can think is "dude, we are not cuddling now" and then Memere starts flinging pooh at us..
That's pretty much the bulk of the dream..with Memere appearing out of nowhere throwing huge pieces of shit at anyone, and everyone. She was apparently pretty pissed that we forgot her. Maybe she "walks" with me too..although, if she did, I'm pretty sure I could smell her a mile away!
Memere was 80 when my sister and I were born. There's a picture of us with Memere when we were about 2. We were outside, something I never saw her do, or at least when I was old enough to remember it. My sister and I were in our diapers, and a small plastic pool was in the background. Memere was sitting in an aluminum lawn chair, and we're on either side, leaning in. I am sure that she must have been propped up out there so that my grandfather (her son) could get a picture of the toe headed twins, with their great grandmother.
She used a walker, and walked from her chair in the living room, to the bathroom, back to her chair, which is where she sat, pretty much for 2 decades. My sister and I spent A LOT of time at my gram's house. Memere had lived with my grandparents for most of her life, and my grandmother did everything for her. She had a commode (her "potty") that she used every night, and that my grandmother cleaned every morning. I hated that thing! My gram would come through the living room with it and we would all hold our breath. There are certain smells that are so bad and so foul, that they leave a memory with you. You can actually smell them again just by imagining it. That shit bucket is one of those smells.
In my dream last night, I was at my grandmother's house. I dream a lot about that house, and particularly of my grandmother. But last night, for the first time in maybe ever, I dreamt about Memere. Her bedroom was off of the living room. It was tiny. However, it seemed appropriate for a woman who was so small and frail. She needed very little, she had a twin bed, a bureau, a nightstand, pictures of Jesus everywhere, holy water, and of course, her shit bucket. The house was not as it usually is. My grandmother wasn't there, and it was cold and gray. Completely dreary. I was alone at this point, walking through the house looking for someone, for anyone really, and it occurred to me that we had forgotten about Memere. I ran to her room and flew the door open. I found her there, looking like her brain had taken a nap, and oddly, covered in her own feces. She told me that the potty hadn't been emptied in ages and that I had better take care of it. It was overflowing and there was shit everywhere..ironically, it didn't smell. The nice minister type priest dude (who apparently I was having an "emotional affair" with, but were going to take it up a notch and cuddle) picks up the shit bucket, covered in pooh, and all I can think is "dude, we are not cuddling now" and then Memere starts flinging pooh at us..
That's pretty much the bulk of the dream..with Memere appearing out of nowhere throwing huge pieces of shit at anyone, and everyone. She was apparently pretty pissed that we forgot her. Maybe she "walks" with me too..although, if she did, I'm pretty sure I could smell her a mile away!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Falling...
It's funny when someone falls right? I don't care if it's me, or you, or anyone, it's just fricking funny! My kids, and my husband as well, think I'm insane and sadistic for finding this amusing. When my mom fell a few years back when she was working at the homedepot, I begged her to try to get the surveillance video..she got caught up in some netting in the garden center and landed on her face. Literally. She broke her nose, her finger (which required pinning) and her collarbone. Yet still, I was dying to see it.
There are some falls though, that aren't funny. Like the one my daughter took down our basement stairs, while I was right behind her. Seeing her body contort, and flip down the stairs is not something any parent should have to witness. Thankfully she was ok, but I still have to live with that vision. Well, I gave the kids bus driver a similar vision this past winter. Our driveway was covered in black ice, and my daughter (the same one that did the flip down our stairs) refused to move because she was afraid to fall. I got to her just in time for the bus to round the corner, take two steps, and then proceed to loose our footing, and we both went down. Hard. My poor daughter, I totally landed on her, and she came up crying. She was ok, but for a moment there, I thought I may have broken her leg. Our bus driver, who I absolutely love, was horrified. He had of course seen the whole thing. He waited to make sure we were ok, my kids got on the bus, including the one I almost squished, and off they went. It was about an hour later, my mom came upstairs to ask me who was salting the driveway. It was my 75 year old bus driver. He had gone to Lowe's after dropping off the kids, and got a bag of salt for me. I will either have to sleep with this man, or at the very least get him a gift card. I'll probably just get him the gift card!
My mom is the master of falling. Last week she was at her mechanics, and while getting out of her car, she dropped her beloved chap stick. She reached under the seat (that she was still sitting in, with the door open) to reach her lip smacker, lost her balance and fell out of the car. Unfortunately for her, she got her legs stuck in the car, and couldn't get up. Thankfully there were witnesses, and someone helped her get up.
On the heels of this fall, she was sitting on her bed with her dog, removing a tick when she lost her balance, and began to fall. In an attempt to catch herself, she tried to grab onto her nightstand. The way she was positioned only made her left arm perform a complete sweep of the nightstand knocking down all it's contents, and then fall, even more awkwardly to the floor. You can laugh... I did, and someday, in roughly 4-6 weeks, when her sternum fracture heals, she's going to find it just as amusing as the rest of us!
There are some falls though, that aren't funny. Like the one my daughter took down our basement stairs, while I was right behind her. Seeing her body contort, and flip down the stairs is not something any parent should have to witness. Thankfully she was ok, but I still have to live with that vision. Well, I gave the kids bus driver a similar vision this past winter. Our driveway was covered in black ice, and my daughter (the same one that did the flip down our stairs) refused to move because she was afraid to fall. I got to her just in time for the bus to round the corner, take two steps, and then proceed to loose our footing, and we both went down. Hard. My poor daughter, I totally landed on her, and she came up crying. She was ok, but for a moment there, I thought I may have broken her leg. Our bus driver, who I absolutely love, was horrified. He had of course seen the whole thing. He waited to make sure we were ok, my kids got on the bus, including the one I almost squished, and off they went. It was about an hour later, my mom came upstairs to ask me who was salting the driveway. It was my 75 year old bus driver. He had gone to Lowe's after dropping off the kids, and got a bag of salt for me. I will either have to sleep with this man, or at the very least get him a gift card. I'll probably just get him the gift card!
My mom is the master of falling. Last week she was at her mechanics, and while getting out of her car, she dropped her beloved chap stick. She reached under the seat (that she was still sitting in, with the door open) to reach her lip smacker, lost her balance and fell out of the car. Unfortunately for her, she got her legs stuck in the car, and couldn't get up. Thankfully there were witnesses, and someone helped her get up.
On the heels of this fall, she was sitting on her bed with her dog, removing a tick when she lost her balance, and began to fall. In an attempt to catch herself, she tried to grab onto her nightstand. The way she was positioned only made her left arm perform a complete sweep of the nightstand knocking down all it's contents, and then fall, even more awkwardly to the floor. You can laugh... I did, and someday, in roughly 4-6 weeks, when her sternum fracture heals, she's going to find it just as amusing as the rest of us!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Week That Tried To Kill Me...
My girls have been sick this week..well, at least one of them has been, and the other is faking a stomach ache so that she doesn't have to go to school without her sister. She is terrified of being there without her sister. I don't blame her, and I remember what it felt like when I had to go to school for the first time without my twin. My girl who really is sick, did the same thing when the faker was sick, except that on day number 2, and after I told her what it was like for me, she decided to try it. She claimed it was the best day after. No one confused her with anyone!
It doesn't work like that for the faker. She's one of my more sensitive children (they are all sensitive, but this one, and my youngest son take the cake for drama..) She couldn't bear the thought of her sister and I (her two most favorite people in the entire world) carrying on a day without her..what would we do? and what would she miss..she's not quite there yet. They are however, both going tomorrow, come hell, high water, or the second coming of Christ, they are going!
It has been a long few weeks..my mother has been sick, but not her normal sick where the doctors scratch their heads and go "hmm? this is weird". She had double pneumonia. Unfortunately, in order to be diagnosed with that, you must first start with bronchitis for a couple of weeks, followed by days of antibiotics, and days of still feeling like shit. Then you must visit the clinic on the weekend, because you are SO sick and you can't figure out why. A chest xray confirms pneumonia, and you are sent home with more antibiotics (this time stronger ones) and inhalers. Then.... (there's a lot to this double pneumonia thing!) roughly 3 days later, you will wake up only in a t-shirt and, have no memory of the previous night. You will struggle to keep your shit together mentally. Finally,your daughter, who has been caring for you as best as she can with 4 kids of her own to take care of, and her twin sisters twin boys, who can be a handful..and a small little business..takes you to the ER. There, you will be told you have double pneumonia. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. No worries, you'll be out in 5 days and feel like yourself in a month or so!
Good lord. I'm looking forward to a couple of hours to myself in the morning..until I have to pick up my nephews at their bus stop..and hopefully, we are going to have a great day, free of sickness, whining, and trips to the ER.
It doesn't work like that for the faker. She's one of my more sensitive children (they are all sensitive, but this one, and my youngest son take the cake for drama..) She couldn't bear the thought of her sister and I (her two most favorite people in the entire world) carrying on a day without her..what would we do? and what would she miss..she's not quite there yet. They are however, both going tomorrow, come hell, high water, or the second coming of Christ, they are going!
It has been a long few weeks..my mother has been sick, but not her normal sick where the doctors scratch their heads and go "hmm? this is weird". She had double pneumonia. Unfortunately, in order to be diagnosed with that, you must first start with bronchitis for a couple of weeks, followed by days of antibiotics, and days of still feeling like shit. Then you must visit the clinic on the weekend, because you are SO sick and you can't figure out why. A chest xray confirms pneumonia, and you are sent home with more antibiotics (this time stronger ones) and inhalers. Then.... (there's a lot to this double pneumonia thing!) roughly 3 days later, you will wake up only in a t-shirt and, have no memory of the previous night. You will struggle to keep your shit together mentally. Finally,your daughter, who has been caring for you as best as she can with 4 kids of her own to take care of, and her twin sisters twin boys, who can be a handful..and a small little business..takes you to the ER. There, you will be told you have double pneumonia. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. No worries, you'll be out in 5 days and feel like yourself in a month or so!
Good lord. I'm looking forward to a couple of hours to myself in the morning..until I have to pick up my nephews at their bus stop..and hopefully, we are going to have a great day, free of sickness, whining, and trips to the ER.
Thursday, March 08, 2012
A Closer Look at Mirror Twins..
My sister and I did a phone interview with the founders of Twinologys.com They're a new website designed for twins, people who know twins, or just about anyone. Check it out, and join their site..just cause!! ;) click here for our story...
Thursday, February 16, 2012
And the Winner is..
I won tickets to be an audience member at Live w/Kelly's post oscar show in California.. I never try and win anything..really, I don't. And I'm not sure why I entered to win this one, but I did, and yay.. Unfortunately, plane tickets to California aren't cheap..not from NH anyway, and "winning" their already free tickets doesn't include airfare.. so, unless someone offers to fly me there, looks like I'll be missing it.. suckage. But how cool is it that I almost got to go? yea, not really cool at all.. my husband was actually pretty excited about it, but then of course reminded me of how poor we are, and that it would be irresponsible if we went (there are 2 tickets btw). I told him it would be much cheaper if my sister went with me.. you know, cause she would pay her own way..that only made him think it was more irresponsible..I'm still working on it.. we shall see!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Whalesvagina
The other day my husband was trying to log onto an online account of mine, and ended up having to change the password. This is a copy of the email he sent me:
"I got you back up. had to change your password to "whalesvagina."
This is why after being together for 20 years, I still love him so.. he makes me laugh, and totally gets me, most of the time anyway! And before any of you think that he was referrring to me, with the whalesvagina comment, it's from one of our favorite movies "Anchorman" with Will Ferrell.. so settle down! ;)
The Odd's...
Have I shared my twin story with you? Well, if you want to catch yourself up, you can go here, or here..
I was referred to the current issue of National Geographic because it was all about twins. I found a genetic researcher who is trying to find a genetic link to identical twins. It has always been thought that identical twins were a fluke and that only fraternal twins (when hyper ovulation occurs) was genetic and passed down from mother to daughter.
I have been searching for years to find another set of identical twins, who have also given birth to identical twins. I emailed the genetic researcher, and he quickly responded with a photo of another set of identical twins, who each had identical twins in the UK. The only difference was that they were male twins, so the mom's were not twins. As far as this researcher knows, and he knows A LOT, we are the only set of female identical twins, to have each given birth to identical twins. Not to mention, again, all of the mirror traits that my sister and I have shared...not only genetic things that are beyond our control, like her being a lefty and me being a righty, she's nearsighted, I'm farsighted. I have a widow's peak, and she can roll her r's.. which is in fact genetic (I was pretty surprised by that one!) when I try to roll my r's, I look like an idiot, and end up just spitting everywhere..it's not pretty.
We also share other mirror traits, that I don't believe have anything to do with genetics, and without sounding like a total flake, I can only just tell the facts: my sister had the most common type of id. pregnancies where her boys shared a placenta. I had the rarest id. pregnancy because my girls each had their own placenta, I was told there was a 20% chance that they were identical. However, because each of my girls were in their own sack, I had the safest type of twin pregnancy, where my sister had the riskier pregnancy because of the threat of twin to twin transfusion (which one of her boys suffered from slightly after birth, but he is totally fine). Her boys were due on Thanksgiving, mine were conceived on Thanksgiving..Her babies were all born in the fall and winter, mine were all born in the spring and summer. All of our twins were born on the 22nd day of different months.
It has this meant to be thing..ya know? it's hard to explain.. but it's exciting! We are going to participate in the study for the genetic researcher. I'm working on a pedigree (which I thought only applied to dogs..but a las, I have learned something new...not hard for a natural blonde!) I've actually discovered some pretty cool things about my fathers side. I'm not sure if I've mentioned here that my dad's family (on his mom's side) are direct descendants of Paul Revere. He's an uncle 20 or so times removed. And I'm instantly tugged to try and convince you (my one reader) that it's true..probably because anyone I ever told growing up, never believed me, which is pretty funny if you think about it..who would make up a story about being related to Paul Revere? If I wanted to be cool, I would have said Santa was my grandfather! Anyway, my great grandmothers maiden name was Revere and with things like ancestry.com, there has been a confirmed link. And the cool part is that there are a bunch of twins on that side...
I have lots to do..another website is airing our story (my sister and I did a phone interview, I'll link it when it airs..) And there's another website- a twin website, that will be featuring our story as well. This one includes homework though (they sent me a list of questions and want pictures and so on), and even with my A.D.D. meds, I'm still procrastinating and having a hard time finishing it. But if it turns out cool, I'll put a link here also. Ok, I gotta go.. my husband is cleaning the girls room, after discovering one of the girls has been hiding food in her closet. Not because she is nurturing an eating disorder, but because if her plate is clean, then she can have dessert..unfortunately, no one happened to see her disappear into her room with her plate. sneaky little bugger!
Here's a twin picture we did last fall.. this was taken by the wonderfully talented Danielle, go check out her website, she's amazing.. http://www.dmacinnesphotography.com/
I was referred to the current issue of National Geographic because it was all about twins. I found a genetic researcher who is trying to find a genetic link to identical twins. It has always been thought that identical twins were a fluke and that only fraternal twins (when hyper ovulation occurs) was genetic and passed down from mother to daughter.
I have been searching for years to find another set of identical twins, who have also given birth to identical twins. I emailed the genetic researcher, and he quickly responded with a photo of another set of identical twins, who each had identical twins in the UK. The only difference was that they were male twins, so the mom's were not twins. As far as this researcher knows, and he knows A LOT, we are the only set of female identical twins, to have each given birth to identical twins. Not to mention, again, all of the mirror traits that my sister and I have shared...not only genetic things that are beyond our control, like her being a lefty and me being a righty, she's nearsighted, I'm farsighted. I have a widow's peak, and she can roll her r's.. which is in fact genetic (I was pretty surprised by that one!) when I try to roll my r's, I look like an idiot, and end up just spitting everywhere..it's not pretty.
We also share other mirror traits, that I don't believe have anything to do with genetics, and without sounding like a total flake, I can only just tell the facts: my sister had the most common type of id. pregnancies where her boys shared a placenta. I had the rarest id. pregnancy because my girls each had their own placenta, I was told there was a 20% chance that they were identical. However, because each of my girls were in their own sack, I had the safest type of twin pregnancy, where my sister had the riskier pregnancy because of the threat of twin to twin transfusion (which one of her boys suffered from slightly after birth, but he is totally fine). Her boys were due on Thanksgiving, mine were conceived on Thanksgiving..Her babies were all born in the fall and winter, mine were all born in the spring and summer. All of our twins were born on the 22nd day of different months.
It has this meant to be thing..ya know? it's hard to explain.. but it's exciting! We are going to participate in the study for the genetic researcher. I'm working on a pedigree (which I thought only applied to dogs..but a las, I have learned something new...not hard for a natural blonde!) I've actually discovered some pretty cool things about my fathers side. I'm not sure if I've mentioned here that my dad's family (on his mom's side) are direct descendants of Paul Revere. He's an uncle 20 or so times removed. And I'm instantly tugged to try and convince you (my one reader) that it's true..probably because anyone I ever told growing up, never believed me, which is pretty funny if you think about it..who would make up a story about being related to Paul Revere? If I wanted to be cool, I would have said Santa was my grandfather! Anyway, my great grandmothers maiden name was Revere and with things like ancestry.com, there has been a confirmed link. And the cool part is that there are a bunch of twins on that side...
I have lots to do..another website is airing our story (my sister and I did a phone interview, I'll link it when it airs..) And there's another website- a twin website, that will be featuring our story as well. This one includes homework though (they sent me a list of questions and want pictures and so on), and even with my A.D.D. meds, I'm still procrastinating and having a hard time finishing it. But if it turns out cool, I'll put a link here also. Ok, I gotta go.. my husband is cleaning the girls room, after discovering one of the girls has been hiding food in her closet. Not because she is nurturing an eating disorder, but because if her plate is clean, then she can have dessert..unfortunately, no one happened to see her disappear into her room with her plate. sneaky little bugger!
Here's a twin picture we did last fall.. this was taken by the wonderfully talented Danielle, go check out her website, she's amazing.. http://www.dmacinnesphotography.com/
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Give Away..
Who doesn't like free stuff? I've made a bag for a new website called Betty Everything. Today we are launching a contest to win one of my bags.. a very nice, sleek messenger bag. One of my favorites.. If you want to enter, you need to go to my facebook page, Add It Up Designs, and look for the details. Good luck, here's a peek at the bag I'm giving away..
Monday, September 26, 2011
The neighbor kid...
There's a kid in our neighborhood, who is 9. He's a friend of my youngest son. He's here a lot. He was here most of the summer. He's a nice kid, and my girls love him. His mom asked me at the beginning of the school year, if I would watch him a few days a week after school, and that she would pay me. I told her fine, even though the thought of having another kid to watch made me hesitate. It's nice at the end of the day to just have my own kids. However, who am I to say no? That's unfortunately not my style, a backbone is required for that, and we all know that I don't have one.
One day after school, when all hell was breaking lose because my girls were tired, and screaming at me, and because I was trying to get dinner ready, the dishes done and snacks passed out, I heard a voice behind me say "excuse me, Mrs. F?" It's the neighbor kid, who has been sitting there watching the chaos "I think you're a really good mom" My heart has melted, and I said "awhh, thank you, that's really nice" and he continues, "you do so much for everyone! My mom just gets stressed out" Then he walks away.
It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. Of course that moment faded quickly, when one of the girls started screaming at me for water, or something they can certainly get for themselves, but refuse to because apparently I owe them this because I have sent them away to school for the day. I announced to everyone what our neighbor had just said. In a sort of "see, someone thinks I'm awesome, now shut the fuck up!" kind of way (without cussing of course)
Anyway, the point of this, is that despite my hesitation to watch him, I'm glad I did. I know he loves it here. His parents recently divorced, so he alternates weeks between his mom's house, and his dads. I think coming here is sort of a refuge of all the stuff at home. He has an older brother, but they don't get along.
The next morning at the bus stop, I asked him if her remembered what he had told me. He said he did. I told him that that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me, and that it totally made my day.. he said thanks, and may have blushed a bit... I think that I may have made his day!
One day after school, when all hell was breaking lose because my girls were tired, and screaming at me, and because I was trying to get dinner ready, the dishes done and snacks passed out, I heard a voice behind me say "excuse me, Mrs. F?" It's the neighbor kid, who has been sitting there watching the chaos "I think you're a really good mom" My heart has melted, and I said "awhh, thank you, that's really nice" and he continues, "you do so much for everyone! My mom just gets stressed out" Then he walks away.
It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. Of course that moment faded quickly, when one of the girls started screaming at me for water, or something they can certainly get for themselves, but refuse to because apparently I owe them this because I have sent them away to school for the day. I announced to everyone what our neighbor had just said. In a sort of "see, someone thinks I'm awesome, now shut the fuck up!" kind of way (without cussing of course)
Anyway, the point of this, is that despite my hesitation to watch him, I'm glad I did. I know he loves it here. His parents recently divorced, so he alternates weeks between his mom's house, and his dads. I think coming here is sort of a refuge of all the stuff at home. He has an older brother, but they don't get along.
The next morning at the bus stop, I asked him if her remembered what he had told me. He said he did. I told him that that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me, and that it totally made my day.. he said thanks, and may have blushed a bit... I think that I may have made his day!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Things that I Have Recently Broken...
-the lawn Mower (not our nice new shiny riding one!)
-the chain saw (I know! what was I thinking?)
-the wheelbarrow (same day as the chainsaw!)
-my tailbone.. (long story..)
My husband is having a hard time affording my clumsiness.. sorry dude.
-the chain saw (I know! what was I thinking?)
-the wheelbarrow (same day as the chainsaw!)
-my tailbone.. (long story..)
My husband is having a hard time affording my clumsiness.. sorry dude.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Swimming...
We got one of those metal frame pools this summer, the ones they have at walmart. This was the best $250 bucks we ever spent! The kids LOVED it. And so did I.
For years, we've been saying we needed to get swimming lessons for the kids.. however, having 4 of them, and living on a tight budget, it just never happened. The boys can now swim. The girls are well on their way, but they wore life jackets in the pool because they couldn't stand in it. (it's 4 ft deep).
Having 7 kids here for the summer made this one of the best places to hang out! Here are the girls with their cousin..
I emptied it yesterday.. drained it right into our leech field (I'm sure that's not a problem!) It's sad to see it laying on the ground..all dirty and slimy. Summer is my favorite season, and I'm sad to see it go. I am already looking forward to setting it up next spring, it'll be up early!! It was a good summer with the pool.. I'm not sure what the kids would have done without it.. it was our "stay cation"!
For years, we've been saying we needed to get swimming lessons for the kids.. however, having 4 of them, and living on a tight budget, it just never happened. The boys can now swim. The girls are well on their way, but they wore life jackets in the pool because they couldn't stand in it. (it's 4 ft deep).
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
My dad's father passed away this summer. I had only seen him once, I can't even say that I met him because no one ever introduced him to me. I got a glimpse though, and I guess that should have been good enough. My grandfather had 3 children with my grandmother. He drank himself into a stupor regularly, and when my dad was a teenager, he left. My dad didn't see him again until he was an adult.
He lived in Alabama, until hurricane Katrina destroyed his single wide, and he was forced to move back to NH, to the 3 kids he had abandoned a couple of decades before. My aunt was his main caregiver, even though he had been absent from her life for several decades. He was one lucky son of a bitch. I'm not sure I would have given him the same respect.
When he passed away, and my father called and told me, I felt sad for what could have been, and for what wasn't. I think my dad may have felt the same way. It wasn't devastating to him, like when he lost his mother back in 1995. He made a joke about getting an extra week off of work, for bereavement. The silver lining.
My dad has not been a huge part of my life. He's unlike his father though, he didn't leave because he was a drinker, he left because he was 30 years old, with 4 kids (2 of which weren't his) and because he had met another woman. I often look back at those times.. when I was 7, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why my dad didn't want to be with us. I thought I must have done something. If only I had been a better kid.. If only I had behaved.. I understand now how these thoughts aren't rational, but to a 7 year old it was fact.
I think my dad must have felt the same way when he was a kid. Not understanding why his father loved his alcohol more than him.
I missed Father's Day this year. I usually send him a card, maybe give him a call, but this year, I did nothing. Not intentionally, I tortured myself daily about getting my shit together and at least mail him a card. But I failed. A month or so after fathers day, I was on my way to the store, and decided to stop in and see him, he only lives a few miles from my house. I was going there to ask him to borrow some money (summers are so hard with my husband not working- he teaches). Earlier in the spring we had to sink a significant amount of money into our cars, money we were saving for summer. I visited for a while, and just could not do it. I couldn't ask him for anything, and felt like I was a kid again wishing he could understand what I was feeling, without having to tell him. As I was leaving, and feeling like a total failure for not being able to do what I had gone there to do, I started crying. I told him how sorry I was that I had missed father's day. This show of emotion made him clearly uncomfortable, and confused. He told me not to worry about it, and that he had missed a lot of things too.
I am over being mad at my father for not being there like he should have been. I know he did the best he could.. some people aren't meant to be parents, like his father.. He had no role model, no one to teach him how to be a parent. I know he has regrets.. and I bet if I had gotten up the nerve, he would have given me the shirt off his back. Or at least lent it to me!
He lived in Alabama, until hurricane Katrina destroyed his single wide, and he was forced to move back to NH, to the 3 kids he had abandoned a couple of decades before. My aunt was his main caregiver, even though he had been absent from her life for several decades. He was one lucky son of a bitch. I'm not sure I would have given him the same respect.
When he passed away, and my father called and told me, I felt sad for what could have been, and for what wasn't. I think my dad may have felt the same way. It wasn't devastating to him, like when he lost his mother back in 1995. He made a joke about getting an extra week off of work, for bereavement. The silver lining.
My dad has not been a huge part of my life. He's unlike his father though, he didn't leave because he was a drinker, he left because he was 30 years old, with 4 kids (2 of which weren't his) and because he had met another woman. I often look back at those times.. when I was 7, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why my dad didn't want to be with us. I thought I must have done something. If only I had been a better kid.. If only I had behaved.. I understand now how these thoughts aren't rational, but to a 7 year old it was fact.
I think my dad must have felt the same way when he was a kid. Not understanding why his father loved his alcohol more than him.
I missed Father's Day this year. I usually send him a card, maybe give him a call, but this year, I did nothing. Not intentionally, I tortured myself daily about getting my shit together and at least mail him a card. But I failed. A month or so after fathers day, I was on my way to the store, and decided to stop in and see him, he only lives a few miles from my house. I was going there to ask him to borrow some money (summers are so hard with my husband not working- he teaches). Earlier in the spring we had to sink a significant amount of money into our cars, money we were saving for summer. I visited for a while, and just could not do it. I couldn't ask him for anything, and felt like I was a kid again wishing he could understand what I was feeling, without having to tell him. As I was leaving, and feeling like a total failure for not being able to do what I had gone there to do, I started crying. I told him how sorry I was that I had missed father's day. This show of emotion made him clearly uncomfortable, and confused. He told me not to worry about it, and that he had missed a lot of things too.
I am over being mad at my father for not being there like he should have been. I know he did the best he could.. some people aren't meant to be parents, like his father.. He had no role model, no one to teach him how to be a parent. I know he has regrets.. and I bet if I had gotten up the nerve, he would have given me the shirt off his back. Or at least lent it to me!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Mountain View
I wish I could go to Mountain View California.. just for a couple of days.. to see my boys! They are playing in Neil Young's benefit concert for the Bridge School. All acoustic.. for 2 days. Maybe next year..
Yup.. another post!
Monday, September 05, 2011
Kindergarten for the twins..
I have been waiting for this day for almost as long as they were born.. All four of my children in school. And now that it's here, I'm feeling all sorts of unsettled emotions..joy, sadness, anxiety, disbelief.. How is it that my babies are 5? And that my oldest son is 11! He started junior high last week..and is loving it! Thank goodness that boy adjusts well to change. My youngest son has started 3rd grade, and is loving it also.. My girls, on the other hand, are not loving it so much. There were months when my daughters refused to talk about school. The mere mention of it would send them over the edge. They are so afraid of missing me.. They remind me so much of my sister and I, when we were their age. I remember being dropped off at kindergarten, and both of us having to pulled off of my mom's legs, screaming. This was sort of what happened back in June when the girls went in for orientation.. I left the classroom, with both of them screaming for me. I could hear them in the parking lot and felt like a complete failure.. how could I not have prepared them for this? Although the only preparation for it was talking about it, which I tried.. and since enrolling twins in preschool on a teachers budget wasn't a possibility, I felt as though I had totally screwed over my own kids.
I'm over that now though.. (thanks to my wonderful therapist) I know I didn't fail them, in fact it's not a bad thing when your kids are bonded to you, right? like glue, with curly hair.. I am still going to be babysitting for my nephews, who will be 4 next month (hard to believe, I know!) I will have 3 hours, 3 days a week, with no kids in my house! holy shite. I've been in a bit of a panic though.. what now? what do I do with all my children in school? The thought of going back to an office job makes me want to hurl. Really, I would rather have another baby! I still have time to figure that out though.. right now, I'm just going to try to get through the next few weeks with all the changes going on..
Maybe I'll have time to write more on my blog.. I'm going to be sewing more.. I have gotten pretty good at it (if I do say so myself). I sold a bunch of my bags at a consignment shop in Portsmouth over the summer. My goal for now is to keep busy enough with that, so that I won't have to join the workforce- ever! I will be my own work force!
Wish my girls luck on their first day of school (and their mother too!)
Friday, April 22, 2011
How To Hookwink Someone into Touching Your 3rd Nipple...
Oh, let me explain.. I went to see my doctor yesterday for a "suspicious mole" that I found on my abdomen, right at the top of my rib cage, under my right breast (or skin bags, which is the best description for them at this point) I worried about this mole.. for a few days in fact. I knew it had been there my whole life, but recently, it was becoming easily irritated, and looked different.
I have been seeing my doctor for 16 years. She has twins, like myself, and she is one of those doctor's that never makes you feel rushed, and always remember intimate details without having to check her notes. She's genuine, and I just love her. So, when I showed up in her office with my mole, I felt completely at ease in her hands. She had me lay back on the table, and had a look at the cause of visit. Immediately, she told me that it wasn't cancerous. Instantly, I felt relieved. For a second anyway.. here's how the rest of the visit went: the dialogue is key..
Dr. L (giggling) "you have to look at this, can you see it?"
Me: (trying to contort myself and see under my boob) "um, yea, what? is it a skin tag or something?"
Dr. L (still giggling) "no, really look at it.. what does it look like"
Me: (getting confused..) "um, really, no idea.."
Dr. L "no, can you see how it's sort of rigid, and shaped like another part of your body?"
Me (finally "getting it") "no shit!"
Dr. L: (straight out howling) "It's a 3rd nipple!!!!!"
Of course it is.
So, this 3rd nipple of mine (which surprisingly my husband did not find sexy at all) is about 2 mm wide, and seriously looks like a mole.. to the naked eye.
So, back to the title of the post.. how do you hoodwink someone into touching your 3rd nipple? I was pretty surprised at how easy it was. First, I showed my friend (let's call her Hillary Peacock) my suspicious mole. I said "isn't that weird?" she says "yea, what is that?" I say, "touch it, it's weird" of course she touches it (she's one of my best friends, and I am totally exploiting her trust in me.. I know, it's genius!) "That IS weird! what is that?" "IT'S MY 3RD NIPPLE!!!"
It was fun.
I have been seeing my doctor for 16 years. She has twins, like myself, and she is one of those doctor's that never makes you feel rushed, and always remember intimate details without having to check her notes. She's genuine, and I just love her. So, when I showed up in her office with my mole, I felt completely at ease in her hands. She had me lay back on the table, and had a look at the cause of visit. Immediately, she told me that it wasn't cancerous. Instantly, I felt relieved. For a second anyway.. here's how the rest of the visit went: the dialogue is key..
Dr. L (giggling) "you have to look at this, can you see it?"
Me: (trying to contort myself and see under my boob) "um, yea, what? is it a skin tag or something?"
Dr. L (still giggling) "no, really look at it.. what does it look like"
Me: (getting confused..) "um, really, no idea.."
Dr. L "no, can you see how it's sort of rigid, and shaped like another part of your body?"
Me (finally "getting it") "no shit!"
Dr. L: (straight out howling) "It's a 3rd nipple!!!!!"
Of course it is.
So, this 3rd nipple of mine (which surprisingly my husband did not find sexy at all) is about 2 mm wide, and seriously looks like a mole.. to the naked eye.
So, back to the title of the post.. how do you hoodwink someone into touching your 3rd nipple? I was pretty surprised at how easy it was. First, I showed my friend (let's call her Hillary Peacock) my suspicious mole. I said "isn't that weird?" she says "yea, what is that?" I say, "touch it, it's weird" of course she touches it (she's one of my best friends, and I am totally exploiting her trust in me.. I know, it's genius!) "That IS weird! what is that?" "IT'S MY 3RD NIPPLE!!!"
It was fun.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Christmas with the Nielsons.. sort of.
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