Parenting do overs..

Here are a few things that I would try again with my kids.. do over if you will..

1.) I would never let my kids sleep in my bed again. The family bed never works, I don't care what Dr. Sears says, he's wrong, and Dr. Phil is right!

2.) When your toddler asks you what time it is, never say "half past a monkey's ass quarter to his balls" That'll just get you in trouble!

3.) Don't leave your toddler alone in the bathroom while you shower. He may just shave off an eyebrow!

4.) It's probably not a good idea to tell your child that if he doesn't brush his teeth, they're going to fall out.. especially when his baby ones haven't yet!

5.) I probably wouldn't have my kids think "Jesus" is a bad word.. like shit or fuck is..

6.) I wouldn't bark like a dog at bedtime to make my 2 year old be scared enough to sleep.. I know that sounds really mean, but it works, and sometimes with him, I have to do whatever it takes! So he won't ever want a dog, what's the harm in that??

7.) I took my oldest son when he was 4 to visit my grandmother's grave. Not the smartest move on my part, considering since then he's been obsessed about getting old, dead, and buried. What the hell was I thinking??

8.) Always show affection for your partner.. don't be sparce either because one day when your 5 year old son walks in on a rare hug between you and your husband, it could potentially crush him!

Ok, I think that's enough for now.. I sound like a horrible parent..but I'm still learning!